For those of you who are regular readers of my blog, you know that I have an 18 year old son named Joe. He works two jobs and attends the community college. Due to choices he makes in his life, he lives on his own rather than living here at home. Although difficult for a parent, the things he is learning by being responsible for himself are invaluable. I hope that one day he makes good choices and is able to move home.
About a week ago today I had an incredible experience with him that I would like to share. This story shows how the Lord will help us teach our children if we are willing to listen. I thank God for experiences like this.
Over a several day period, Joe was having trouble with his car starting. It started sometimes, and other times it wouldn’t. At first it seemed to be a problem with the battery, since it would start if we jumped it, but as time went on it became evident that the starter motor was going bad. I encouraged Joe to take it and get it fixed before he got stranded somewhere, but ultimately that is what happened. Last Friday he had to leave it in a parking lot until I had the time to help him.
On Saturday morning we went out early to attempt to get it started. It had snowed several inches overnight to complicate issues a little. At this point we were not quite sure if the problem was with the battery or the starter so we bought a new battery before going. When we arrived at the car we tried multiple things to get it started. We tried jumping it first, then we tried the new battery but nothing seemed to work. It simply wouldn’t start.
After about 30 minutes I asked Joe to come in the car with me so we could say a prayer. We weren’t asking for the car to be miraculously repaired, we were simply asking for it to start one last time so we could take it to be repaired. I offered a simple but heartfelt prayer. Afterward, I felt 100% confident that it would start. I thought to myself what a wonderful experience this would be for Joe if it started. I was full of faith. After the prayer I tried it again and it simply wouldn’t start.
Joe got out of his car (where we had prayed) since it was cold and went and sat in mine. I was shocked that the car hadn’t started. I was certain it was going to and yet it didn’t. I silently offered another prayer and reasoned a bit with the Lord. “Heavenly Father, why isn’t it starting? What am I missing?” After asking these questions I sat quietly for a few moments and listened for an answer. The answer came in a very loving manner. “Scott, you already know that I will answer your prayers. Does Joe know that I will answer his?”
I stepped out of Joe’s car and went in mine where Joe was warming up. “Joe, I think you need to pray about this one.” He replied “I don’t want to pray, I don’t even know what to ask.” This response still shocks me; he grew up in a family that prayed nearly every day together. He had heard, and offered thousands of prayers in his lifetime. At this point, however, he didn’t know what to ask for. I asked him “what is it that we want?” He replied “we want the car to start.” “Then that is what you should ask for” I replied.
Joe offered a simple but to the point prayer “Heavenly Father, Please bless my dad and I that the car will start so we can go get it fixed, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I then said “Joe, now go start your car.” Joe went to his car, and in a couple of attempts it started.
I got out and unhooked the jumper cables, put the tools away, and closed the hoods of the cars. Joe sat silently in his car. I went and sat next to him. “Joe, you can’t deny this one” I said. “I know” he replied. I then explained to him how I had been prompted to ask him to pray. He sat silently. I said “We owe Heavenly Father a prayer of thanks for this one.” I offered it and went back to my car.
The next couple of minutes I sat in my car and wept. I was so grateful that Heavenly Father would love me so much as to give me such an amazing teaching opportunity for my drifting son. I was overwhelmed with love and appreciation for him. Over and over in my mind went the thoughts “my God is a good God, my God is a powerful God, my God is a great God.” Oh how I love Him.
This important lesson teaches me that Heavenly Father really is in charge. He loves us and will help us in all we do if we will simply turn to him… and listen.
I have a painting hanging in my living room of the Savior calming the sea. It is a painting by Walter Rane titled “Master the Tempest is Raging.” I bought it after a very powerful experience I had in the Salt Lake temple while viewing it there one day.
In the midst of the trouble I was having with my two sons, ad when Matt was in the middle of his treatment at Turnabout, I was in the Salt Lake Temple. In the entrance to the Men’s locker room hangs this wonderful painting. It depicts the small ship being tossed by the sea. Each of the disciples is in various forms of panic. One disciple is clenching tightly to a rope that is tied to the sail. He has his teeth gritted and is pulling with all his might. At the same time, the Savior is standing in the front of the boat very calmly with His hand outstretched.
As I stood in the temple that morning, the eyes of my understanding were opened and I suddenly saw myself in this painting. I was grasping on to the rope (my sons) as tightly as I could. I somehow felt that if I was strong enough, or good enough, or held on tight enough, I could save my two sons, just as this disciple thought he could save the boat. The Savior on the other hand didn’t need to use any physical strength at all; without holding tightly to anything, spoke the words “peace be still” and the elements obeyed. As I stood in the temple that morning, the Spirit whispered to me “Scott, let go of the rope and trust me.” I soon realized that my sons have a Savior… and it isn’t me!
I bought a copy of this painting and display it prominently in my home to remind me to let go and to trust the Savior.
I end this post with the scripture found in Mark 4:
37 And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.
38 And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?
39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?
41 And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?
Each of us encounter “great storms” in our lives. How many of us turn to the arm of the flesh to calm the storm? The words found here “Why are ye so fearful? How is it ye have no faith?” give me great comfort at times when I feel afraid. May we all learn to let go of the rope and trust the Lord!
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Sunday, June 26, 2011
God's Mercy
Elder Gene R. Cook once wrote that one of the most misunderstood scriptures in the Book of Mormon was found in Moroni’s promise in Moroni 10:3
“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”
The misunderstanding seems to come from the word “it”; the fourth word from the end. What exactly is “it” that we are to ponder in our hearts?
The common belief by most of us is that when we read “these things, if it be wisdom in God that we should read them,” that we should ponder “them” in our hearts. But this isn’t what Moroni says… he says ponder “it.” The only “it” he could be referring to in this sentence is “how merciful the Lord has been unto the children of men.” This changes our focus quite dramatically.
We have been taught by many gospel scholars over the years of the ancient literary writing style known as chiasmus. A chiasm, as I understand it, is literary writing structure that places concepts in symmetrical order. For example, suppose that the first topic in a text is labeled by A, the second topic is labeled by B and the third topic is labeled by C. If the topics in the text appear in the order ABC…CBA so that the first concept that comes up is also the last, the second is the second to last.
A simple example of a chiasm in the New Testament is found in John 1:1-2
In the beginning was the Word, (A)
and the Word was with God, (B)
and the Word was God. (B')
The same was in the beginning with God. (A')
I find it interesting that the Book of Mormon starts and ends in a similar manner. In 1 Nephi 1:20 we read: ““But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen.”
Then in Moroni 10:3 we are asked to ponder “how merciful the Lord has been.”
It is of this mercy that I wish to write today.
I have often felt throughout my life that the Lord blesses me well beyond what I deserve. I hesitate to use the word deserve because I know that I don’t really deserve anything. I guess what I mean to say is that I have feel more blessed than what my imperfect mind and heart feel I should- knowing all of my sins and imperfections. For this I am deeply grateful to my Heavenly Father.
Although I have honestly strived throughout my life to do the things the Lord asks of me, I have lived a life filled with rebellion, envy, pride, lust, and sin. Despite this behavior, the Lord has shown His tender mercies toward me and given me every opportunity to repent and to succeed. I have been given opportunity after opportunity to serve in His Kingdom. My prayers have always been answered and I have always felt the power of the Holy Ghost in my life.
Roughly seven years ago, I was living the life of a mediocre Latter Day Saint. I went to church, I read my scriptures, I said my prayers most of the time, and I attended the temple every month or two. I had a testimony… I felt it was a strong testimony. I had experienced many wonderful things that really strengthened my faith. I had repented of many things. I was busy raising my family and I was busy in my career. I felt I was doing what was required of me for the most part. Then one day, out of the blue, I was called as a member of the Stake High Council. This was the beginning of a “mighty change” in my life.
I will never forget how I felt as I first began attending High Council meetings. I felt so out of place and so unworthy to be there. I was suddenly in the midst of the greatest group of men I had ever known. I made a vow to really strive to be better… to be more repentant: To be more Christ like.
This went on for about two years. I was striving to change and to be better. The Holy Spirit was guiding me and helping me to make some changes that I needed to but in hindsight now, I can see that I wasn’t close to comprehending how much the Lord was asking me to change. He wanted me to be vastly different; He wanted me to make major changes; not just these superficial ones that I was slowly making.
In the fall of 2005 I was suddenly hit with a trial that changed every part of my life. It isn’t important to mention what the trial was, but it affected me so deeply that I didn’t know how to go on with my life. I was alone with no one to turn to but the Lord. Once again in hindsight, I feel that the Lord grabbed my attention in the only way I would listen, and proceeded to make me the person He wanted me to be. I needed to change, and the change was more drastic than I had ever imagined. Once again, His tender mercy plucked me from a life of mediocrity in the church, to one of total immersion and commitment.
Here I sit, nearly six years later, contemplating the blessings that have become mine due to a loving Heavenly Father that chose to select me for chastisement. I have learned what it means in Doctrine and Covenants 121:45 to have my “confidence was strong in the presence of God.” I know what it means to “hunger and thirst after righteousness.” I have learned why the Holy Ghost is known as the Comforter.
In the past 6 years I have had many trials. I’ve learned that when we begin to get a handle on withstanding one type of temptation, Satan is right behind with another. The closer we grow to the Lord, the more personal becomes the temptation. I have learned that Satan will do all in his power to destroy marriages and families. I’ve learned that there are countless ways for our hearts to be broken. I’ve learned that President Benson was right when he stated that the Lord will have a humble people… they can either choose to be humble, or can be compelled.
Although there have been many trials, there have been many blessings. I wouldn’t trade anything I have been through (although I wouldn’t want to relive any of it). I know that our trials are evidence of God's mercy. I have gained an unshakable testimony of the Savior. I have become immovable in my conviction of the restoration. I have learned that the Lord’s house is the source of great instruction. I have begun to see glimpses of Eternity and our part in it. I have learned that the Lord will reveal the “mysteries” of heaven to those who ask. I have come to know that D&C 93:1is indeed true:
“Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am”.
I know God lives and loves me.
“Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts.”
The misunderstanding seems to come from the word “it”; the fourth word from the end. What exactly is “it” that we are to ponder in our hearts?
The common belief by most of us is that when we read “these things, if it be wisdom in God that we should read them,” that we should ponder “them” in our hearts. But this isn’t what Moroni says… he says ponder “it.” The only “it” he could be referring to in this sentence is “how merciful the Lord has been unto the children of men.” This changes our focus quite dramatically.
We have been taught by many gospel scholars over the years of the ancient literary writing style known as chiasmus. A chiasm, as I understand it, is literary writing structure that places concepts in symmetrical order. For example, suppose that the first topic in a text is labeled by A, the second topic is labeled by B and the third topic is labeled by C. If the topics in the text appear in the order ABC…CBA so that the first concept that comes up is also the last, the second is the second to last.
A simple example of a chiasm in the New Testament is found in John 1:1-2
In the beginning was the Word, (A)
and the Word was with God, (B)
and the Word was God. (B')
The same was in the beginning with God. (A')
I find it interesting that the Book of Mormon starts and ends in a similar manner. In 1 Nephi 1:20 we read: ““But behold, I, Nephi, will show unto you that the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen.”
Then in Moroni 10:3 we are asked to ponder “how merciful the Lord has been.”
It is of this mercy that I wish to write today.
I have often felt throughout my life that the Lord blesses me well beyond what I deserve. I hesitate to use the word deserve because I know that I don’t really deserve anything. I guess what I mean to say is that I have feel more blessed than what my imperfect mind and heart feel I should- knowing all of my sins and imperfections. For this I am deeply grateful to my Heavenly Father.
Although I have honestly strived throughout my life to do the things the Lord asks of me, I have lived a life filled with rebellion, envy, pride, lust, and sin. Despite this behavior, the Lord has shown His tender mercies toward me and given me every opportunity to repent and to succeed. I have been given opportunity after opportunity to serve in His Kingdom. My prayers have always been answered and I have always felt the power of the Holy Ghost in my life.
Roughly seven years ago, I was living the life of a mediocre Latter Day Saint. I went to church, I read my scriptures, I said my prayers most of the time, and I attended the temple every month or two. I had a testimony… I felt it was a strong testimony. I had experienced many wonderful things that really strengthened my faith. I had repented of many things. I was busy raising my family and I was busy in my career. I felt I was doing what was required of me for the most part. Then one day, out of the blue, I was called as a member of the Stake High Council. This was the beginning of a “mighty change” in my life.
I will never forget how I felt as I first began attending High Council meetings. I felt so out of place and so unworthy to be there. I was suddenly in the midst of the greatest group of men I had ever known. I made a vow to really strive to be better… to be more repentant: To be more Christ like.
This went on for about two years. I was striving to change and to be better. The Holy Spirit was guiding me and helping me to make some changes that I needed to but in hindsight now, I can see that I wasn’t close to comprehending how much the Lord was asking me to change. He wanted me to be vastly different; He wanted me to make major changes; not just these superficial ones that I was slowly making.
In the fall of 2005 I was suddenly hit with a trial that changed every part of my life. It isn’t important to mention what the trial was, but it affected me so deeply that I didn’t know how to go on with my life. I was alone with no one to turn to but the Lord. Once again in hindsight, I feel that the Lord grabbed my attention in the only way I would listen, and proceeded to make me the person He wanted me to be. I needed to change, and the change was more drastic than I had ever imagined. Once again, His tender mercy plucked me from a life of mediocrity in the church, to one of total immersion and commitment.
Here I sit, nearly six years later, contemplating the blessings that have become mine due to a loving Heavenly Father that chose to select me for chastisement. I have learned what it means in Doctrine and Covenants 121:45 to have my “confidence was strong in the presence of God.” I know what it means to “hunger and thirst after righteousness.” I have learned why the Holy Ghost is known as the Comforter.
In the past 6 years I have had many trials. I’ve learned that when we begin to get a handle on withstanding one type of temptation, Satan is right behind with another. The closer we grow to the Lord, the more personal becomes the temptation. I have learned that Satan will do all in his power to destroy marriages and families. I’ve learned that there are countless ways for our hearts to be broken. I’ve learned that President Benson was right when he stated that the Lord will have a humble people… they can either choose to be humble, or can be compelled.
Although there have been many trials, there have been many blessings. I wouldn’t trade anything I have been through (although I wouldn’t want to relive any of it). I know that our trials are evidence of God's mercy. I have gained an unshakable testimony of the Savior. I have become immovable in my conviction of the restoration. I have learned that the Lord’s house is the source of great instruction. I have begun to see glimpses of Eternity and our part in it. I have learned that the Lord will reveal the “mysteries” of heaven to those who ask. I have come to know that D&C 93:1is indeed true:
“Verily, thus saith the Lord: It shall come to pass that every soul who forsaketh his sins and cometh unto me, and calleth on my name, and obeyeth my voice, and keepeth my commandments, shall see my face and know that I am”.
I know God lives and loves me.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Touch Me Not
It is Christmastime, and the world is celebrating the birth of our Savior. I love this time if the year because I feel that it is indeed the ”Happiest time of the year.” I know I am an old softy but I really can relate to the words from Michael McLain’s Forgotten Carols “I Cry on the Day that they take the tree down.” I want this season to last all year long.
My thoughts today, however, are turned to another holiday; Easter. I set a goal this year to read the entire Messiah Series by Elder McConkie. I read them a little out of order but am down to my final volume, Volume 4 of “The Mortal Messiah”. I have so touched by this volume. I feel it has forever changed my life by helping me to finally really “Know” the Savior.
This volume focuses on the final year of the Saviors ministry. During this time He was very bold and a perfect example of service in the kingdom. This volume takes us up through the crucifixion and resurrection. It is of the resurrection that I would like to make comment today.
We are all familiar with the scene at the Garden Tomb where Mary mistakes the Savior for the gardener.
13 “And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because
they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
14And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and
knew not that it was Jesus.
15Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing
him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
16Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
17Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.” (John 20).
I have often tried to imagine this scene in my mind and have always felt that it was a bit harsh for Mary not to be able to actually hold the Savior; to feel the nail prints in His hands and feet: To truly testify that He was resurrected because she saw and felt Him. Then in The Mortal Messiah I read the following:
“We cannot believe that the caution which withheld from Jesus the embrace of Mary was anything more than the building of a proper wall of reserve between intimates who are now on two sides of the veil. If a resurrected brother appeared to a mortal brother, or if a resurrected husband appeared to a mortal wife, would they be free to embrace each other on the same terms of intimacy as had prevailed when both were mortals? But perhaps there was more in Jesus' statement than Mary related or than John recorded, for in a very short time we shall see a group of faithful women hold Jesus by his feet as they worship him. The seeming refusal of Jesus to permit Mary to touch him, followed almost immediately by the appearance in which the other women were permitted to hold his feet, has always been the source of some interpretative concern. The King James Version quotes Jesus as saying "Touch me not." The Joseph Smith Translation reads "Hold me not." Various translations from the Greek render the passage as "Do not cling to me" or "Do not hold me." Some give the meaning as "Do not cling to me any longer," or "Do not hold me any longer." Some speak of ceasing to hold him or cling to him, leaving the inference that Mary was already holding him. There is valid reason for supposing that the thought conveyed to Mary by the Risen Lord was to this effect: "You cannot hold me here, for I am going to ascend to my Father." Volume 4 page 264.
As I understand this, Elder McConkie is telling us that it is possible that Jesus did indeed embrace Mary. Then He basically said “I can’t stay, don’t hold me here.” This seems to me a much more likely scenario of what happened. In fact when I read it… I wept as I thought of the love that was shared between these two and as Mary realized that it really was Him. This insight makes me feel closer to Him.
My thoughts today, however, are turned to another holiday; Easter. I set a goal this year to read the entire Messiah Series by Elder McConkie. I read them a little out of order but am down to my final volume, Volume 4 of “The Mortal Messiah”. I have so touched by this volume. I feel it has forever changed my life by helping me to finally really “Know” the Savior.
This volume focuses on the final year of the Saviors ministry. During this time He was very bold and a perfect example of service in the kingdom. This volume takes us up through the crucifixion and resurrection. It is of the resurrection that I would like to make comment today.
We are all familiar with the scene at the Garden Tomb where Mary mistakes the Savior for the gardener.
13 “And they say unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? She saith unto them, Because
they have taken away my Lord, and I know not where they have laid him.
14And when she had thus said, she turned herself back, and saw Jesus standing, and
knew not that it was Jesus.
15Jesus saith unto her, Woman, why weepest thou? whom seekest thou? She, supposing
him to be the gardener, saith unto him, Sir, if thou have borne him hence, tell me where thou hast laid him, and I will take him away.
16Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself, and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.
17Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.” (John 20).
I have often tried to imagine this scene in my mind and have always felt that it was a bit harsh for Mary not to be able to actually hold the Savior; to feel the nail prints in His hands and feet: To truly testify that He was resurrected because she saw and felt Him. Then in The Mortal Messiah I read the following:
“We cannot believe that the caution which withheld from Jesus the embrace of Mary was anything more than the building of a proper wall of reserve between intimates who are now on two sides of the veil. If a resurrected brother appeared to a mortal brother, or if a resurrected husband appeared to a mortal wife, would they be free to embrace each other on the same terms of intimacy as had prevailed when both were mortals? But perhaps there was more in Jesus' statement than Mary related or than John recorded, for in a very short time we shall see a group of faithful women hold Jesus by his feet as they worship him. The seeming refusal of Jesus to permit Mary to touch him, followed almost immediately by the appearance in which the other women were permitted to hold his feet, has always been the source of some interpretative concern. The King James Version quotes Jesus as saying "Touch me not." The Joseph Smith Translation reads "Hold me not." Various translations from the Greek render the passage as "Do not cling to me" or "Do not hold me." Some give the meaning as "Do not cling to me any longer," or "Do not hold me any longer." Some speak of ceasing to hold him or cling to him, leaving the inference that Mary was already holding him. There is valid reason for supposing that the thought conveyed to Mary by the Risen Lord was to this effect: "You cannot hold me here, for I am going to ascend to my Father." Volume 4 page 264.
As I understand this, Elder McConkie is telling us that it is possible that Jesus did indeed embrace Mary. Then He basically said “I can’t stay, don’t hold me here.” This seems to me a much more likely scenario of what happened. In fact when I read it… I wept as I thought of the love that was shared between these two and as Mary realized that it really was Him. This insight makes me feel closer to Him.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Hope
Hope
A few months ago I wrote a couple of posts on the topic of faith. If you haven’t read them, please go back and do so. The reason I make that request is that my experience is teaching me that much of becoming like the Savior is learning three important principles: Faith, Hope and Charity.
As I reflect on my own life I believe that I have a fair amount of faith. Now perhaps I need to remember Peter and the other apostles being chastised a little after they couldn’t cast out an evil spirit and Jesus responded “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” I realize that my faith may be weak in comparison to what is required but I feel I understand faith a little.
As I begin to ponder hope however, I feel a little less confident. I recently read a terrific little book called “Obtaining Your Calling and Election” by Kevan Kingsley Clawson. I stumbled onto this book while reading a book review of “Following the Light of Christ into His Presence”; a highly recommended book. While reading the review I noticed a “if you liked this book you may also be interested in” section. In it I found Obtaining your Calling and Election. This book was difficult to find. I ordered it from Benchmark Books but it even took them a couple of months to get it. It was worth the wait and is quite a little gem.
Obtaining Your Calling and Election is very different from other books I have read on the topic. It is much more about what I would describe as the temporal side of the topic rather than the spiritual side: Perhaps more nuts and bolts. None the less I found it very informative. I was most impressed by the chapter he wrote in Hope.
The author quotes Webster’d Dictionary. HOPE: desire accompanied by expectation of fulfillment.
He then quotes Bruce R. McConkie’s Mormon Doctrine (page 365) “As used in the revelations, hope is the desire of faithful people to gain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God hereafter. It is not a flimsy, ethereal desire, one without assurance that the desired consummation will be received, but a desire coupled with expectation of receiving the coveted reward.”
I particularly liked this example that Clawson gave. “If your new car suddenly stopped working and you knew absolutely nothing about engines, you would have little or no hope of fixing the car. You would be found standing on the side of the road, with the hood up, wishing there was something you could do. In reality, you would probably be forced to wait for the tow truck. On the other hand, if the same car broke down and the driver was an experienced mechanic, he would have real hope that he could fix the car with full expectation of actually doing it. The mechanics knowledge provided him with a different level of trust in his ability to understand and correct the problem. He would not have to stand idly by wishing for some miracle to occur; he would actively ensure the desired result came to pass. He could not guarantee the result (hope is not a guarantee), but, because of his knowledge, he could hope for and expect a positive result.
The same holds true for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the desire Christians have of obtaining the Kingdom of God. A person who has never read the scriptures, who only goes to church on Christmas and Easter, and whoe does not pray except, perhaps, during tome of extreme hardship, cannot develop or obtain any real hope of obtaining the Kingdom of God because he has done little or nothing to prepare himself for the goal. He would be wishing upon a star.
On the other hand, consider the example of a righteous man who has not only read all of the scriptures, but has made a lifelong study of these “textbooks;” who not only attends church every Sunday but has faithfully fulfilled a myriad of callings and responsibilities; and who not only has developed faith but has gradually increased his knowledge of God by participating in and witnessing many miracles, gifts of the Spirit, and answers to prayer. Unlike the previous example, this man has true hope of obtaining the Kingdom of God. This man can expect to receive a fulfillment of his desires. His knowledge and works have made it possible for him to enter the Kingdom.”
I will close with a scripture from the book of Ether. “And I also remember that thou hast said that thou hast prepared a house for man, yea, even among the mansions of thy Father, in which man might have a more excellent hope; wherefore man must hope, or he cannot receive an inheritance in the place which thou hast prepared.”
Ether 12:32 May we all develop the hope required to achieve that which we desire most, Eternal Life in the presence of our Heavenly Father.
A few months ago I wrote a couple of posts on the topic of faith. If you haven’t read them, please go back and do so. The reason I make that request is that my experience is teaching me that much of becoming like the Savior is learning three important principles: Faith, Hope and Charity.
As I reflect on my own life I believe that I have a fair amount of faith. Now perhaps I need to remember Peter and the other apostles being chastised a little after they couldn’t cast out an evil spirit and Jesus responded “And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” I realize that my faith may be weak in comparison to what is required but I feel I understand faith a little.
As I begin to ponder hope however, I feel a little less confident. I recently read a terrific little book called “Obtaining Your Calling and Election” by Kevan Kingsley Clawson. I stumbled onto this book while reading a book review of “Following the Light of Christ into His Presence”; a highly recommended book. While reading the review I noticed a “if you liked this book you may also be interested in” section. In it I found Obtaining your Calling and Election. This book was difficult to find. I ordered it from Benchmark Books but it even took them a couple of months to get it. It was worth the wait and is quite a little gem.
Obtaining Your Calling and Election is very different from other books I have read on the topic. It is much more about what I would describe as the temporal side of the topic rather than the spiritual side: Perhaps more nuts and bolts. None the less I found it very informative. I was most impressed by the chapter he wrote in Hope.
The author quotes Webster’d Dictionary. HOPE: desire accompanied by expectation of fulfillment.
He then quotes Bruce R. McConkie’s Mormon Doctrine (page 365) “As used in the revelations, hope is the desire of faithful people to gain eternal salvation in the kingdom of God hereafter. It is not a flimsy, ethereal desire, one without assurance that the desired consummation will be received, but a desire coupled with expectation of receiving the coveted reward.”
I particularly liked this example that Clawson gave. “If your new car suddenly stopped working and you knew absolutely nothing about engines, you would have little or no hope of fixing the car. You would be found standing on the side of the road, with the hood up, wishing there was something you could do. In reality, you would probably be forced to wait for the tow truck. On the other hand, if the same car broke down and the driver was an experienced mechanic, he would have real hope that he could fix the car with full expectation of actually doing it. The mechanics knowledge provided him with a different level of trust in his ability to understand and correct the problem. He would not have to stand idly by wishing for some miracle to occur; he would actively ensure the desired result came to pass. He could not guarantee the result (hope is not a guarantee), but, because of his knowledge, he could hope for and expect a positive result.
The same holds true for the gospel of Jesus Christ and the desire Christians have of obtaining the Kingdom of God. A person who has never read the scriptures, who only goes to church on Christmas and Easter, and whoe does not pray except, perhaps, during tome of extreme hardship, cannot develop or obtain any real hope of obtaining the Kingdom of God because he has done little or nothing to prepare himself for the goal. He would be wishing upon a star.
On the other hand, consider the example of a righteous man who has not only read all of the scriptures, but has made a lifelong study of these “textbooks;” who not only attends church every Sunday but has faithfully fulfilled a myriad of callings and responsibilities; and who not only has developed faith but has gradually increased his knowledge of God by participating in and witnessing many miracles, gifts of the Spirit, and answers to prayer. Unlike the previous example, this man has true hope of obtaining the Kingdom of God. This man can expect to receive a fulfillment of his desires. His knowledge and works have made it possible for him to enter the Kingdom.”
I will close with a scripture from the book of Ether. “And I also remember that thou hast said that thou hast prepared a house for man, yea, even among the mansions of thy Father, in which man might have a more excellent hope; wherefore man must hope, or he cannot receive an inheritance in the place which thou hast prepared.”
Ether 12:32 May we all develop the hope required to achieve that which we desire most, Eternal Life in the presence of our Heavenly Father.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
1 Nephi 11:1
1 Nephi 11:1
I feel a little bit overwhelmed today. I have been very busy at work, for which I am very grateful. At the same time I feel a burning desire to read all that I can. In addition to my study of the Book of Mormon, I am reading “The Mortal Messiah- Book One” (There are 4 volumes). I am also reading Hugh Nibley’s “Approaching Zion”, an amazing work.
I love reading and I want to read all of my spare time, however, of course I have many other responsibilities. I have received a burning testimony of the new Duty to God program. I feel a compelling need to implement it in the life of my two sons. It comes as an answer to many sincere prayers on what I can do to prepare my sons for Priesthood service. Implementing this program takes a lot of time and dedication in the evenings. It has changes how we have family scripture study… a topic for another day.
Now we come to the topic of my blog. I also feel a strong need to write in this blog. The ironic thing is that not that many people read it. Something inside me however is driving me to write about my reading of the Book of Mormon. I have been delaying this day because of the overwhelming topic of Nephi’s interpretation of Lehi’s Dream. This is an important topic that I have spent many hours pondering about. I hope I can do it justice.
Vs 1
“FOR it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot.”
There is nearly an entire sermon taught in this verse alone. Nephi had a desire to know the things his father had seen; and he had faith that the Lord was able to make them known unto him. My immediate thoughts go to Alma’s parable of the seed.
27 “But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”
Take note of the words “desire to believe.” This is an indication of Nephi’s faith.
Nephi sat pondering. I have learned throughout my life that I need to make time for pondering. I have found that rising early in the morning is the only time that works for me. I awaken every morning between 4:30 and 5:00 am. I spend at least an hour reading, pondering, and journaling on impressions that come to me. Without a doubt this has become the most precious time of my life. This is the time that I really begin to understand the nature of our Heavenly Father.
Additionally I attend the temple every Wednesday morning for the 6:00 am session. I can’t begin to describe the things that I have learned over the last year doing this. The temple is indeed the Lord’s university.
Nephi was “caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, to an exceedingly high mountain.” This has been a topic of many hours of pondering. Where was Nephi when this was happening? Was he in his tent? Was he somewhere in the wilderness praying? If so, why was he carried away to somewhere else? Why didn’t the Lord simply appear to him where he was?
We know from the experience of others, that the Lord appears in “Holy Places”. These have often been mountain tops. It seems that the Lord uses mountain tops when temples aren’t available. If a temple had been available, would this have happened in the temple? Then we come to how this applies to me.
If the Lord, or one of his messengers, were to appear to me, where would this take place? The temple is certainly a likely place… but it isn’t really private there. Is my home a worthy enough place? I try to make it as clean as possible but the fact that we live in the “world” makes it very difficult to keep influences of the world out. Do I need to go to a mountain? If so, which one? Will the Lord carry me away to a mountain as He did Nephi? These and many other things have been the topic of much pondering and prayer.
I feel a little bit overwhelmed today. I have been very busy at work, for which I am very grateful. At the same time I feel a burning desire to read all that I can. In addition to my study of the Book of Mormon, I am reading “The Mortal Messiah- Book One” (There are 4 volumes). I am also reading Hugh Nibley’s “Approaching Zion”, an amazing work.
I love reading and I want to read all of my spare time, however, of course I have many other responsibilities. I have received a burning testimony of the new Duty to God program. I feel a compelling need to implement it in the life of my two sons. It comes as an answer to many sincere prayers on what I can do to prepare my sons for Priesthood service. Implementing this program takes a lot of time and dedication in the evenings. It has changes how we have family scripture study… a topic for another day.
Now we come to the topic of my blog. I also feel a strong need to write in this blog. The ironic thing is that not that many people read it. Something inside me however is driving me to write about my reading of the Book of Mormon. I have been delaying this day because of the overwhelming topic of Nephi’s interpretation of Lehi’s Dream. This is an important topic that I have spent many hours pondering about. I hope I can do it justice.
Vs 1
“FOR it came to pass after I had desired to know the things that my father had seen, and believing that the Lord was able to make them known unto me, as I sat pondering in mine heart I was caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, into an exceedingly high mountain, which I never had before seen, and upon which I never had before set my foot.”
There is nearly an entire sermon taught in this verse alone. Nephi had a desire to know the things his father had seen; and he had faith that the Lord was able to make them known unto him. My immediate thoughts go to Alma’s parable of the seed.
27 “But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.”
Take note of the words “desire to believe.” This is an indication of Nephi’s faith.
Nephi sat pondering. I have learned throughout my life that I need to make time for pondering. I have found that rising early in the morning is the only time that works for me. I awaken every morning between 4:30 and 5:00 am. I spend at least an hour reading, pondering, and journaling on impressions that come to me. Without a doubt this has become the most precious time of my life. This is the time that I really begin to understand the nature of our Heavenly Father.
Additionally I attend the temple every Wednesday morning for the 6:00 am session. I can’t begin to describe the things that I have learned over the last year doing this. The temple is indeed the Lord’s university.
Nephi was “caught away in the Spirit of the Lord, yea, to an exceedingly high mountain.” This has been a topic of many hours of pondering. Where was Nephi when this was happening? Was he in his tent? Was he somewhere in the wilderness praying? If so, why was he carried away to somewhere else? Why didn’t the Lord simply appear to him where he was?
We know from the experience of others, that the Lord appears in “Holy Places”. These have often been mountain tops. It seems that the Lord uses mountain tops when temples aren’t available. If a temple had been available, would this have happened in the temple? Then we come to how this applies to me.
If the Lord, or one of his messengers, were to appear to me, where would this take place? The temple is certainly a likely place… but it isn’t really private there. Is my home a worthy enough place? I try to make it as clean as possible but the fact that we live in the “world” makes it very difficult to keep influences of the world out. Do I need to go to a mountain? If so, which one? Will the Lord carry me away to a mountain as He did Nephi? These and many other things have been the topic of much pondering and prayer.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
1 Nephi 3
1 Nephi 3
I had a wonderful morning in the Salt Lake Temple this morning. A wonderful spirit was present and it was the perfect way to start a new day. I encourage all to attend as much as possible.
Because I was in the temple this morning, I am late in getting today’s thoughts posted. I welcome your comments.
Vs.1
Nephi returns from speaking with the Lord! Was this simply a prayer or was it a vision? Perhaps he simply heard His voice. Is this experience separate from the previous experience?
Vs 2
Lehi has another dream. He is commanded to have his sons return to Jerusalem. Why wasn’t Lehi commanded to go himself? Was his life in danger because of his previous preaching or was this some kind of lesson for his sons?
Vs. 3
I have heard several times in my life that Lehi and Laban were cousins. Is this something revealed by Joseph Smith or are we simply assuming this because Laban has the record of Lehi’s forefathers?
Vs. 5
This verse implies that Lehi has already spoken to Laman and Lemuel prior to speaking to Nephi. Lehi tells Nephi that they have already complained that it is too hard.
Vs. 7
This is one of the most beloved and quoted scriptures in the entire Book of Mormon. What a manifestation of Nephi’s faith! I have a cross reference of this scripture with Moroni 7:33 which reads; “33 And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me. I hope to be able to develop this type of faith!
Vs. 8
I have experienced this type of joy that comes from my children exercising faith!
Vs. 10
I wonder what the population of Jerusalem was at this time? The current “old city” is about 1 square mile, however, the Bible maps found in our scriptures show the city at the time of Christ much smaller. This was even 600 years prior to Christ’s coming. Was it smaller or larger?
On a side note, some of the walls of the city that would have existed during this time have been excavated in Jerusalem. They are really remarkable to see.
Vs. 11
Why did they cast lots? Why didn’t they all go?
Vs. 14-16
They all became exceedingly sorrowful when their first attempt failed. Laman and Lemuel wanted to give up but Nephi was committed to keeping the commandments… and he considered getting the plates one of them.
Interestingly they go to plan B of their own. They didn’t seem to turn to the Lord to ask Him how to get the plates.
Vs. 19-20
Nephi seemed to really understand the importance of getting the plates. He outlines the consequences of not getting them. Did he receive this by revelation or was it told to him by his father as they were planning the trip?
Vs. 21
Nephi uses his testimony to try to persuade his brothers to keep the commandments.
Vs. 29
As Laman and Lemuel are beating their younger brothers, perhaps for having such “stupid” ideas as giving up all their gold and silver, an angel appears. Why did this not simply floor Laman and Lemuel?
Vs. 31
When the angel leaves, Laman and Lemuel go right back to murmuring. This is difficult for me to comprehend.
I wonder how many days this entire experience took? For most of my life I imagined it all happening in one night but I am now beginning to think that it was over a period of several days. It doesn’t say how long they were in the “cavity of a rock”.
I had a wonderful morning in the Salt Lake Temple this morning. A wonderful spirit was present and it was the perfect way to start a new day. I encourage all to attend as much as possible.
Because I was in the temple this morning, I am late in getting today’s thoughts posted. I welcome your comments.
Vs.1
Nephi returns from speaking with the Lord! Was this simply a prayer or was it a vision? Perhaps he simply heard His voice. Is this experience separate from the previous experience?
Vs 2
Lehi has another dream. He is commanded to have his sons return to Jerusalem. Why wasn’t Lehi commanded to go himself? Was his life in danger because of his previous preaching or was this some kind of lesson for his sons?
Vs. 3
I have heard several times in my life that Lehi and Laban were cousins. Is this something revealed by Joseph Smith or are we simply assuming this because Laban has the record of Lehi’s forefathers?
Vs. 5
This verse implies that Lehi has already spoken to Laman and Lemuel prior to speaking to Nephi. Lehi tells Nephi that they have already complained that it is too hard.
Vs. 7
This is one of the most beloved and quoted scriptures in the entire Book of Mormon. What a manifestation of Nephi’s faith! I have a cross reference of this scripture with Moroni 7:33 which reads; “33 And Christ hath said: If ye will have faith in me ye shall have power to do whatsoever thing is expedient in me. I hope to be able to develop this type of faith!
Vs. 8
I have experienced this type of joy that comes from my children exercising faith!
Vs. 10
I wonder what the population of Jerusalem was at this time? The current “old city” is about 1 square mile, however, the Bible maps found in our scriptures show the city at the time of Christ much smaller. This was even 600 years prior to Christ’s coming. Was it smaller or larger?
On a side note, some of the walls of the city that would have existed during this time have been excavated in Jerusalem. They are really remarkable to see.
Vs. 11
Why did they cast lots? Why didn’t they all go?
Vs. 14-16
They all became exceedingly sorrowful when their first attempt failed. Laman and Lemuel wanted to give up but Nephi was committed to keeping the commandments… and he considered getting the plates one of them.
Interestingly they go to plan B of their own. They didn’t seem to turn to the Lord to ask Him how to get the plates.
Vs. 19-20
Nephi seemed to really understand the importance of getting the plates. He outlines the consequences of not getting them. Did he receive this by revelation or was it told to him by his father as they were planning the trip?
Vs. 21
Nephi uses his testimony to try to persuade his brothers to keep the commandments.
Vs. 29
As Laman and Lemuel are beating their younger brothers, perhaps for having such “stupid” ideas as giving up all their gold and silver, an angel appears. Why did this not simply floor Laman and Lemuel?
Vs. 31
When the angel leaves, Laman and Lemuel go right back to murmuring. This is difficult for me to comprehend.
I wonder how many days this entire experience took? For most of my life I imagined it all happening in one night but I am now beginning to think that it was over a period of several days. It doesn’t say how long they were in the “cavity of a rock”.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Faith and Belief
Once again I have been really taken by a wonderful book by author John Pontius titled “The Triumph of Zion.” This book is definitely in the top five of the best and most influential books I have ever read. It has caused me to think of things I have never thought of before and it has helped me understand the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants better. It seems to make the entire Plan of Salvation make more sense and has helped me understand what is meant when we hear that the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel.
The topic I would like to write about today is found toward the end of the book and is a small section titled “Faith and Belief.” He explains the difference between faith and belief and then goes on to explain how our beliefs have a tendency to squash of faith. I hope to be able to explain.
“Faith is a result of exposure to the Spirit of the Lord and is a gift of God. Faith does not naturally reside in man. When we obey some principle of truth, a commandment of God, or any whispering of the Spirit, the Spirit of the Lord touches our souls with a tiny increase of faith regarding that principle.
One can only have faith in things that are true (Alma 32:21). We can’t have faith in a falsehood. Only to the extent that a principle contains truth can we exercise faith in it. For this reason, faith is always centered in Christ, because all truth flows from Christ.
Unlike faith, which is always pure, our belief structure includes both elements of truth and impurities of human assumption, tradition, false conclusions, and out-and-out lies. Most of what we believe comes from the experience of our lifetime, all of which occur in the natural world, and most of which are in some way tainted. Such false beliefs are hostile to our progress unless overridden by revealed truth.”
I will give a personal example of how belief squashes faith. For most of my adult life I believed that it was not possible or perhaps unlikely that faithful members of the church were able to have a personal visit by the Savior while in this life. I believed this blessing was only reserved for Apostles and Prophets… and I wasn’t even sure about all of them. This was my belief! However, over the past 18 mos. or so, my belief has totally changed. I was introduced to Denver Snuffer’s “The Second Comforter” and had a very powerful witness born to me that this great blessing is indeed available to all who seek it. Since that time I have read several books on the topic including very clear teachings from Elder Bruce R. McConkie in “The Promised Messiah” and “The Millennial Messiah” that have taught me the truth of this matter. The Book of Mormon teaches this topic abundantly. I now have overwhelming faith in the matter that Christ will appear to each of us if we are faithful and as we “seek His face.”
Brother Pontius goes on to write “Our every act is driven by a belief. Whether that belief is based upon truth, or upon misconception, determines whether the act is righteous or evil. Often, faith can be profound, while our belief about how that faith applies to us can limit, or even eliminate, our enjoyment of the fruits of our faith. Such faith-opposing believing is called “unbelief” in the scriptures. It is not necessarily an absence of faith and can coexist with faith quite companionably. But it is nevertheless an effective and often long-lived damnation of our faith.
An example might be: We may have faith that Heavenly Father loves us and has the power to heal an illness or disease we may have. But we simultaneously believe (or assume because of what others have taught us) that Heavenly Father wants us to learn some lesson through our suffering, or that we must seek a medical solution first, only turning to Him as a last resort. Or, we may conclude that since we haven’t personally seen this magnitude of healing with our own eyes, He may just not be doing healings of this degree nowadays, and thus, we doubt the will of God to heal us—not His power, but His intention to do so. We have great faith He can, we just don’t believe He will, and thus uninspired belief (unbelief) smothers our faith.
Another example may be: We read the scriptures and have complete faith that the brother of Jared (or any other righteous figure) truly experienced the profound blessings, visions, revelations and angelic visitations they record. And, even though the same prophet records that God is no respecter of persons and liberally grants the same blessings to all who righteously seek them, we believe that the scriptures are largely for our education and not a prototype of our personal spiritual potential. We may conclude that such things do not happen in this day, or if they do, that would happen to someone more highly placed or more obedient. We thereby doubt, not God’s power, which is a by-product of our faith, but His will to grant us a place within His promises. Such doubt by definition is unbelief.
We extinguish the fire of faith with the cold rains of unbelief. The Lord told Moroni 4:
7 ‘And in that day that they shall exercise faith in me, saith the Lord, even as the brother of Jared did, that they may become sanctified in me, then will I manifest unto them the things which the brother of Jared saw, even to the unfolding unto them all my revelations, saith Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of the heavens and of the earth, and all things that in them are.’
This verse contains one of the most incredible pronouncements of promise this dispensation has ever been given.” In fact, I personally believe (Scott Webb speaking) that this is part of what is meant when we hear that the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel. Pontius goes on to write “It is saying when—notice that it doesn’t say if, it implies when—we rend the veil of unbelief and develop faith like the brother of Jared’s, God will unfold unto us all of His revelations, which means that we will know all things, which would enable us to part the veil in many places and lay hold upon all promised blessings. This promise isn’t being made just to the Quorum of the Twelve. This is a promise that is held out to every person who chooses to seek and obtain it. We have access to the same gifts in this day, in this priesthood, in this Church, as the brother of Jared used to rend the heavens in his day, which lit up sixteen stones and his eternity.”
I encourage all who are reading this blog to look at your own life… find the places where belief is overpowering your faith, then go to the Lord in earnest prayer and ask for His help in overcoming your unbelief. I have experienced this in my own life and testify of its efficacy. May we all seek His face.
The topic I would like to write about today is found toward the end of the book and is a small section titled “Faith and Belief.” He explains the difference between faith and belief and then goes on to explain how our beliefs have a tendency to squash of faith. I hope to be able to explain.
“Faith is a result of exposure to the Spirit of the Lord and is a gift of God. Faith does not naturally reside in man. When we obey some principle of truth, a commandment of God, or any whispering of the Spirit, the Spirit of the Lord touches our souls with a tiny increase of faith regarding that principle.
One can only have faith in things that are true (Alma 32:21). We can’t have faith in a falsehood. Only to the extent that a principle contains truth can we exercise faith in it. For this reason, faith is always centered in Christ, because all truth flows from Christ.
Unlike faith, which is always pure, our belief structure includes both elements of truth and impurities of human assumption, tradition, false conclusions, and out-and-out lies. Most of what we believe comes from the experience of our lifetime, all of which occur in the natural world, and most of which are in some way tainted. Such false beliefs are hostile to our progress unless overridden by revealed truth.”
I will give a personal example of how belief squashes faith. For most of my adult life I believed that it was not possible or perhaps unlikely that faithful members of the church were able to have a personal visit by the Savior while in this life. I believed this blessing was only reserved for Apostles and Prophets… and I wasn’t even sure about all of them. This was my belief! However, over the past 18 mos. or so, my belief has totally changed. I was introduced to Denver Snuffer’s “The Second Comforter” and had a very powerful witness born to me that this great blessing is indeed available to all who seek it. Since that time I have read several books on the topic including very clear teachings from Elder Bruce R. McConkie in “The Promised Messiah” and “The Millennial Messiah” that have taught me the truth of this matter. The Book of Mormon teaches this topic abundantly. I now have overwhelming faith in the matter that Christ will appear to each of us if we are faithful and as we “seek His face.”
Brother Pontius goes on to write “Our every act is driven by a belief. Whether that belief is based upon truth, or upon misconception, determines whether the act is righteous or evil. Often, faith can be profound, while our belief about how that faith applies to us can limit, or even eliminate, our enjoyment of the fruits of our faith. Such faith-opposing believing is called “unbelief” in the scriptures. It is not necessarily an absence of faith and can coexist with faith quite companionably. But it is nevertheless an effective and often long-lived damnation of our faith.
An example might be: We may have faith that Heavenly Father loves us and has the power to heal an illness or disease we may have. But we simultaneously believe (or assume because of what others have taught us) that Heavenly Father wants us to learn some lesson through our suffering, or that we must seek a medical solution first, only turning to Him as a last resort. Or, we may conclude that since we haven’t personally seen this magnitude of healing with our own eyes, He may just not be doing healings of this degree nowadays, and thus, we doubt the will of God to heal us—not His power, but His intention to do so. We have great faith He can, we just don’t believe He will, and thus uninspired belief (unbelief) smothers our faith.
Another example may be: We read the scriptures and have complete faith that the brother of Jared (or any other righteous figure) truly experienced the profound blessings, visions, revelations and angelic visitations they record. And, even though the same prophet records that God is no respecter of persons and liberally grants the same blessings to all who righteously seek them, we believe that the scriptures are largely for our education and not a prototype of our personal spiritual potential. We may conclude that such things do not happen in this day, or if they do, that would happen to someone more highly placed or more obedient. We thereby doubt, not God’s power, which is a by-product of our faith, but His will to grant us a place within His promises. Such doubt by definition is unbelief.
We extinguish the fire of faith with the cold rains of unbelief. The Lord told Moroni 4:
7 ‘And in that day that they shall exercise faith in me, saith the Lord, even as the brother of Jared did, that they may become sanctified in me, then will I manifest unto them the things which the brother of Jared saw, even to the unfolding unto them all my revelations, saith Jesus Christ, the Son of God, the Father of the heavens and of the earth, and all things that in them are.’
This verse contains one of the most incredible pronouncements of promise this dispensation has ever been given.” In fact, I personally believe (Scott Webb speaking) that this is part of what is meant when we hear that the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the gospel. Pontius goes on to write “It is saying when—notice that it doesn’t say if, it implies when—we rend the veil of unbelief and develop faith like the brother of Jared’s, God will unfold unto us all of His revelations, which means that we will know all things, which would enable us to part the veil in many places and lay hold upon all promised blessings. This promise isn’t being made just to the Quorum of the Twelve. This is a promise that is held out to every person who chooses to seek and obtain it. We have access to the same gifts in this day, in this priesthood, in this Church, as the brother of Jared used to rend the heavens in his day, which lit up sixteen stones and his eternity.”
I encourage all who are reading this blog to look at your own life… find the places where belief is overpowering your faith, then go to the Lord in earnest prayer and ask for His help in overcoming your unbelief. I have experienced this in my own life and testify of its efficacy. May we all seek His face.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
A Life Experience
For a little over two years now I have been keeping a journal that records how I have felt the Hand of the Lord in my life. I haven't written anywhere near daily... but have done so regularly. For Christmas this year I gave a copy of this journal to each of my children. Following is a true story written in that journal. It happened years earlier but I hadn't yet recorded it. It is quite long... but one that has had a profound influence on my life. I hope you enjoy it.
On Christmas of 1998, I received the biography of President Gordon B. Hinkley. It was a new book at the time and was popular in LDS circles. Since I had some time during the Christmas break, and we had just finished another successful business season, I devoted some time to reading it.
As I read the pages of this book, with its many remarkable stories, I began to be impressed how many programs in the church, as we currently know them, were the result of the efforts of this one remarkable man. Each time I would finish a reading session, I would put the book down and think to myself “one man really can make a difference!”
As I began pondering on my own life, I began to wonder what I should do to contribute more to the Kingdom of God. Many thoughts ran through my mind. Dominating my mind was the feeling that I should devote some time to teaching in the Church Education System.
As a college student at Utah /State University, I had taken all the necessary training courses to be a CES teacher but had never followed through with the student teaching portion. It was something I always had in the back of my mind. Perhaps the time was right.
Not knowing how to proceed, I decided to call my friend Jon Stevenson, the CES director in the Washington DC area. I asked how one goes about being a CES teacher. He explained that most teachers are hired after training at one of the Utah Institutes. The training I had years before was no longer valid. He asked “Why don’t you think of being a volunteer in your area?
Our area already had Seminary teachers so my only option was teaching an Institute class. I asked Jon how I should proceed. He informed me that he had a colleague in his same position in the Baltimore area, Brother Earl DeChamps: He suggested I give him a call. I asked if it were strange to call and essentially volunteer? He said “if someone in my area did that, I would fall off my chair.”
Ironically I had a related thought just a couple of weeks prior to this. In Sacrament meeting, a young returned missionary in my ward, Jared Muccaroni, had been called as the Young Single Adult representative for our ward. I thought to myself at that time “what a joke, what young single adults do we have?”
I called Bro. DeChamps on the phone and introduced myself. I explained to him what I wanted to do. He was happy to meet with me a few days later. In our meeting he explained to me that one of the biggest jobs of teaching Institute was recruiting. I then asked him what his expectations were. He replied “If you start out the semester with two students, and end the semester with four, I will consider you very successful”.
I followed all the necessary steps and got a call officially from the Ward. Soon afterward I began to make the class known among all the YSA in the ward.
This included both active and in-active members. I wrote individual letters and made phone calls and visits. Most of the contacts I made seemed to be excited.
I don’t remember how many showed up the first week, but I do remember that before long, we had 12 to 18 attending regularly. This gave me a great deal of satisfaction. More than anything, I was excited for the kids. Many hadn’t been to church in years. Others were looking for an excuse to come back. Anyway, the group became very strong, very quickly. Soon they were spending a lot of time together outside of Institute. It was a wonderful experience for all involved.
I continued recruiting throughout the Stake and made visits to neighboring Wards. Also the kids invited their member and non-member friends. Our class continued to grow. I remember one time having 29 kids in attendance!
Needless to say, Bro. DeChamps was impressed. At some point in the year he explained to me that he would soon be retiring and he felt it would be appropriate for me to take over his position. This seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. He explained that he had forwarded our success to his superiors and that they were interested in talking further. He then explained however that I need to go to Salt Lake for training if I really wanted a shot at it.
After discussing the possibilities with Ann and my children, we made arrangements to let someone live in our house, while we moved temporarily to Utah. The CES people in Utah were very accommodating. I learned that I was going to be able to take both training courses simultaneously. Normally they were taken two semesters in a row. In addition, I was given the opportunity to do my student teach at a local High School at the same time. This seemed to work out perfectly for us.
I really began to feel that everything was lining up perfectly for this position. To top it all off, the house we rented in Holladay was directly across the street from one of the 5 World Zone Leaders in the CES program. He was impressed by my willingness and by the many sacrifices I and my family were willing to make. In January of 1999, my family and I rented a U-Haul trailer and moved to Utah for the duration of six months.
While in Utah, we had many wonderful experiences. We had a fabulous ward and had many friends in it. My children were able to attend a private school based on LDS values. We were able to live near grandparents and others that we hadn’t had the privilege of previously. We really enjoyed ourselves. However, it was our hope that I would still be able to go back to Maryland to take over the CES Director position in my area.
I wish to relate a couple of very personal experiences I had during this time.
Prior to moving, I was in the habit of listening to talk radio while in my car and while working outside. I enjoyed the many topics that were discussed by the various hosts. One of these discussions was on the topic of lawn mower accidents. I remember the guest on the radio, who was a podiatrist, telling of the many series injuries he had personally treated due to young children operating lawn mowers. He stated that he would “never let anyone under the age of 13 operate a mower”.
I took this to heart and I mowed my own lawn. Since most of our furnishings in our rented home were borrowed, we had an old beat-up lawn mower. Week after week my daughter Krista, then about 11, would beg to mow the lawn. After prolonged begging, I consented. I allowed her to mow under strict supervision.
Before long, Krista became quite good at mowing and I began to give her more freedom to mow on her own. One day I remember getting her started in the back yard of the home we were renting, and I went around the front to pull weeds. I remember cutting through the house to the front yard. As I approached the front door I head a blood curdling scream. I dashed for the back yard.
It appeared that due to the age of the mower, the vibration of the engine caused the muffler to fall off. Not knowing what it was, Krista picked it up, instantly burning her hand and fingers. I remember rushing her into the house to run her hand under cold water. She was screaming hysterically. I could see that the heat had literally melted part of her skin on her fingers and that it was blistered and swollen. I recall that the skin was even broken in one area.
As I began running cold water over her hand, the Spirit told me very strongly to give her a blessing. I seemed to reply in my mind, “I will, but first I need to give her first aid”. A second time much more forcefully the Spirit said “Scott, I am teaching Krista a lesson here… not you; now , give her a blessing”. This time I obeyed! I proceeded to give her a blessing by first anointing her with oil, and then sealing the anointing with a blessing. The spirit commanded me to tell her to be made whole. At the close of the blessing, I testify that Krista was made whole. The skin was restored and she was pain free. The following day there was very little sign of the injury.
Since no one was around to witness this miracle, it was unknown to other members of our family. In Family Home Evening the following Monday, Krista and I told of the events of that day. I distinctly remember my older daughter Melissa saying afterwards “Cool stuff like that never happens to me”. Little did I know how those words would be remembered.
Early in the spring or summer of that year, Melissa and Krista were invited by their best friends from school, to accompany their family to Lake Powell where they owned a house boat. The girls’ names were Sage and Shanna Gardner. Sage was Melissa’s age and Shanna was Krista’s age.
For some reason I felt very uneasy about letting Melissa go on this trip but I kept assuring myself that it was all in my mind. However, I continued to have very disturbing feelings about letting her go. I went to the Lord about it and felt assured that I should let her go.
As the day arrived for her to leave, I took her to the place where we agreed to meet them. As I loaded her gear into the back of the Gardner’s truck, I had a sick feeling that I would lever see Melissa alive again. I continued to pray in my heart however and felt assured I should let her go. I just hugged her and told her to be careful. Sterling Gardner assured me she would be well taken care of. I let her go.
That evening, we had been invited to a party at some friends. Around 9 pm that evening I got a call on my cell phone (I don’t even remember who had called me), informing me that Melissa had been involved in a serious Jet Ski accident and needed to go to a hospital with a plastic surgeon. We had the choice of Life Flighting her to Salt Lake City, or having her driven by the Gardners to Saint George. I asked the Gardner’s which choice they would make under the circumstances? We agreed on having them drive her to Saint George.
We were told that she had had an accident with a ski rope and that she had a cut on her cheek and a pretty serious rope burn. Ann and I left immediately for Saint George. We were very worried and drove as quickly as possible. As we drove, I prayed and pondered a lot. As I did, I convinced myself that the injuries were not very serious. This was still in the early days of cellular service and phones only worked in more populated areas. I had to stop regularly to phone the hospital to see if she had arrived. As we came into Cedar City we learned that she had arrived but they couldn’t begin treating her until we gave our consent.
When we arrived at the Hospital, I can’t describe the great trepidation I felt to enter. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I entered the emergency room. The injury was much worse than I had ever expected. She had a very deep rope burn completely around her face; across the back of her neck, and onto her chest. The rope had also cut deep into her left cheek.
It was all I could do to hold her hand and tell her she was going to be fine and that it wasn’t that bad. I wanted to be upbeat around her and make her feel safe. After a couple of minutes however, I excused myself to the restroom where I wept uncontrollably for at least ten minutes.
The story was told to me that she and Sage hopped on the Jet Skis shortly after arriving at the lake. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was low on the horizon. As a result, the sun reflected off the lake, and Melissa couldn’t see what was in front of her. Each on separate watercrafts, Melissa and Sage headed directly into the sun. Melissa didn’t see a boat, towing a water skier, directly in front of her. She went directly between the boat and the skier and hit the rope. The skier saw her and tried to lift the rope to allow her to slip underneath: She took a direct hit in her open mouth. The force pulled the rope out of the skier’s hands and the rope proceeded to wrap itself completely around her head. With the boat and the Jet Ski still moving, the force broke the handle off the rope but then pulled off in a whipping action that caused the frayed end to whip across her chest and cut deep burns into her face.
The plastic surgeon told us that the rope burns were third degree burns. The burns were very deep and went from the corners of her mouth, across her cheeks, directly under both ear lobes, and behind her neck. The back of her neck was raw flesh. The swelling was terrible: Her head seemed to be twice the size of normal. She looked awful.
The surgeon proceeded to sew up the cut into her cheek. It was a cut that went essentially an inch into her cheek; thus making her mouth an inch wider. The surgeon told us he didn’t have a treatment for the burns. He proceeded to tell us that there was no way of knowing how these burns would heal. We simply needed to give it time. He said it could very well heal with little scarring, or could heal with the large thick skin that is more often associated with third degree burns. We were instructed to take her to the Primary Children’s burn clinic when we got back to Salt Lake.
She was released from the Hospital that morning early. We went to my brother Jim’s Saint George house for what was the rest of the night. When we got there, I proceeded to give Melissa a Priesthood blessing. Then I went to be alone to pray. The next several hours were filled with countless pleadings and countless tears: Over and over again I asked myself why I had let her go? More importantly I wanted to know why the Lord had assured me it was okay to let her go.
Sometime over the next few hours or days, as my prayers were sent out on behalf of my beautiful little daughter, the Spirit of the Lord came over me in a very calming assurance. “Scott, I too know the pain of allowing one of my children to go into certain harm… and sending them anyway. This lesson is for you.” In a very real sense, I had a small understanding of how hard it was for Heavenly Father to send his Son to die when he knew what would happen to him.
The blessing I gave Melissa that night assured me that she would be healed without scars. To this day, Melissa has very faint lines of where this accident took place. If someone didn’t know about the accident, they would never notice the scars. Their faint remainder are a reminder to me of the scars my Savior still bears as a witness of the love of God for me.
As a result of this accident, I have become a different parent. I have learned to trust God much more. I have come to the realization that I am not in charge and that I have no control over serious events happening in my life, or the life of those I love. All I have, and all safety and protection lies in the hands of the Lord. I have learned that I need to trust him to protect me and my children. If he doesn’t, there is a reason for it—that I am certain of.
As the school year drew to an end that year, and as I continued teaching seminary, things seemed to be going extremely well. My students liked me and it appeared that those in influential places did as well. I was evaluated and interviewed by all the necessary people. When it was all said and done—I wasn’t hired by the church. I was very hurt.
Looking back on this seminary teaching experience, I know that the Lord’s hand was in the decision. I am certain it wasn’t the right thing for me. However, it was very difficult for me. Brother Iba, the CES Zone Leader that lived across the street from me was very apologetic. He gave me a big hug of thanks when we returned to Maryland.
I didn’t know how much this rejection affected me at the time, but again in hind-sight I see that I turned a little bitter for the next couple of years. I found myself suffering spiritually due to a feeling of “what’s the use”? I found myself more susceptible to temptation as a result and made some poor decisions. It seemed I was doing all the right things for all the right reasons. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t hired.
With several years between then and now, I have a real perspective of the many lessons I learned from this experience. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without these experiences. I can honestly say now that I am grateful for the Lord having a better understanding of the “big picture”. I have a greater understanding of the gospel and of the Atonement.
On Christmas of 1998, I received the biography of President Gordon B. Hinkley. It was a new book at the time and was popular in LDS circles. Since I had some time during the Christmas break, and we had just finished another successful business season, I devoted some time to reading it.
As I read the pages of this book, with its many remarkable stories, I began to be impressed how many programs in the church, as we currently know them, were the result of the efforts of this one remarkable man. Each time I would finish a reading session, I would put the book down and think to myself “one man really can make a difference!”
As I began pondering on my own life, I began to wonder what I should do to contribute more to the Kingdom of God. Many thoughts ran through my mind. Dominating my mind was the feeling that I should devote some time to teaching in the Church Education System.
As a college student at Utah /State University, I had taken all the necessary training courses to be a CES teacher but had never followed through with the student teaching portion. It was something I always had in the back of my mind. Perhaps the time was right.
Not knowing how to proceed, I decided to call my friend Jon Stevenson, the CES director in the Washington DC area. I asked how one goes about being a CES teacher. He explained that most teachers are hired after training at one of the Utah Institutes. The training I had years before was no longer valid. He asked “Why don’t you think of being a volunteer in your area?
Our area already had Seminary teachers so my only option was teaching an Institute class. I asked Jon how I should proceed. He informed me that he had a colleague in his same position in the Baltimore area, Brother Earl DeChamps: He suggested I give him a call. I asked if it were strange to call and essentially volunteer? He said “if someone in my area did that, I would fall off my chair.”
Ironically I had a related thought just a couple of weeks prior to this. In Sacrament meeting, a young returned missionary in my ward, Jared Muccaroni, had been called as the Young Single Adult representative for our ward. I thought to myself at that time “what a joke, what young single adults do we have?”
I called Bro. DeChamps on the phone and introduced myself. I explained to him what I wanted to do. He was happy to meet with me a few days later. In our meeting he explained to me that one of the biggest jobs of teaching Institute was recruiting. I then asked him what his expectations were. He replied “If you start out the semester with two students, and end the semester with four, I will consider you very successful”.
I followed all the necessary steps and got a call officially from the Ward. Soon afterward I began to make the class known among all the YSA in the ward.
This included both active and in-active members. I wrote individual letters and made phone calls and visits. Most of the contacts I made seemed to be excited.
I don’t remember how many showed up the first week, but I do remember that before long, we had 12 to 18 attending regularly. This gave me a great deal of satisfaction. More than anything, I was excited for the kids. Many hadn’t been to church in years. Others were looking for an excuse to come back. Anyway, the group became very strong, very quickly. Soon they were spending a lot of time together outside of Institute. It was a wonderful experience for all involved.
I continued recruiting throughout the Stake and made visits to neighboring Wards. Also the kids invited their member and non-member friends. Our class continued to grow. I remember one time having 29 kids in attendance!
Needless to say, Bro. DeChamps was impressed. At some point in the year he explained to me that he would soon be retiring and he felt it would be appropriate for me to take over his position. This seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. He explained that he had forwarded our success to his superiors and that they were interested in talking further. He then explained however that I need to go to Salt Lake for training if I really wanted a shot at it.
After discussing the possibilities with Ann and my children, we made arrangements to let someone live in our house, while we moved temporarily to Utah. The CES people in Utah were very accommodating. I learned that I was going to be able to take both training courses simultaneously. Normally they were taken two semesters in a row. In addition, I was given the opportunity to do my student teach at a local High School at the same time. This seemed to work out perfectly for us.
I really began to feel that everything was lining up perfectly for this position. To top it all off, the house we rented in Holladay was directly across the street from one of the 5 World Zone Leaders in the CES program. He was impressed by my willingness and by the many sacrifices I and my family were willing to make. In January of 1999, my family and I rented a U-Haul trailer and moved to Utah for the duration of six months.
While in Utah, we had many wonderful experiences. We had a fabulous ward and had many friends in it. My children were able to attend a private school based on LDS values. We were able to live near grandparents and others that we hadn’t had the privilege of previously. We really enjoyed ourselves. However, it was our hope that I would still be able to go back to Maryland to take over the CES Director position in my area.
I wish to relate a couple of very personal experiences I had during this time.
Prior to moving, I was in the habit of listening to talk radio while in my car and while working outside. I enjoyed the many topics that were discussed by the various hosts. One of these discussions was on the topic of lawn mower accidents. I remember the guest on the radio, who was a podiatrist, telling of the many series injuries he had personally treated due to young children operating lawn mowers. He stated that he would “never let anyone under the age of 13 operate a mower”.
I took this to heart and I mowed my own lawn. Since most of our furnishings in our rented home were borrowed, we had an old beat-up lawn mower. Week after week my daughter Krista, then about 11, would beg to mow the lawn. After prolonged begging, I consented. I allowed her to mow under strict supervision.
Before long, Krista became quite good at mowing and I began to give her more freedom to mow on her own. One day I remember getting her started in the back yard of the home we were renting, and I went around the front to pull weeds. I remember cutting through the house to the front yard. As I approached the front door I head a blood curdling scream. I dashed for the back yard.
It appeared that due to the age of the mower, the vibration of the engine caused the muffler to fall off. Not knowing what it was, Krista picked it up, instantly burning her hand and fingers. I remember rushing her into the house to run her hand under cold water. She was screaming hysterically. I could see that the heat had literally melted part of her skin on her fingers and that it was blistered and swollen. I recall that the skin was even broken in one area.
As I began running cold water over her hand, the Spirit told me very strongly to give her a blessing. I seemed to reply in my mind, “I will, but first I need to give her first aid”. A second time much more forcefully the Spirit said “Scott, I am teaching Krista a lesson here… not you; now , give her a blessing”. This time I obeyed! I proceeded to give her a blessing by first anointing her with oil, and then sealing the anointing with a blessing. The spirit commanded me to tell her to be made whole. At the close of the blessing, I testify that Krista was made whole. The skin was restored and she was pain free. The following day there was very little sign of the injury.
Since no one was around to witness this miracle, it was unknown to other members of our family. In Family Home Evening the following Monday, Krista and I told of the events of that day. I distinctly remember my older daughter Melissa saying afterwards “Cool stuff like that never happens to me”. Little did I know how those words would be remembered.
Early in the spring or summer of that year, Melissa and Krista were invited by their best friends from school, to accompany their family to Lake Powell where they owned a house boat. The girls’ names were Sage and Shanna Gardner. Sage was Melissa’s age and Shanna was Krista’s age.
For some reason I felt very uneasy about letting Melissa go on this trip but I kept assuring myself that it was all in my mind. However, I continued to have very disturbing feelings about letting her go. I went to the Lord about it and felt assured that I should let her go.
As the day arrived for her to leave, I took her to the place where we agreed to meet them. As I loaded her gear into the back of the Gardner’s truck, I had a sick feeling that I would lever see Melissa alive again. I continued to pray in my heart however and felt assured I should let her go. I just hugged her and told her to be careful. Sterling Gardner assured me she would be well taken care of. I let her go.
That evening, we had been invited to a party at some friends. Around 9 pm that evening I got a call on my cell phone (I don’t even remember who had called me), informing me that Melissa had been involved in a serious Jet Ski accident and needed to go to a hospital with a plastic surgeon. We had the choice of Life Flighting her to Salt Lake City, or having her driven by the Gardners to Saint George. I asked the Gardner’s which choice they would make under the circumstances? We agreed on having them drive her to Saint George.
We were told that she had had an accident with a ski rope and that she had a cut on her cheek and a pretty serious rope burn. Ann and I left immediately for Saint George. We were very worried and drove as quickly as possible. As we drove, I prayed and pondered a lot. As I did, I convinced myself that the injuries were not very serious. This was still in the early days of cellular service and phones only worked in more populated areas. I had to stop regularly to phone the hospital to see if she had arrived. As we came into Cedar City we learned that she had arrived but they couldn’t begin treating her until we gave our consent.
When we arrived at the Hospital, I can’t describe the great trepidation I felt to enter. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I entered the emergency room. The injury was much worse than I had ever expected. She had a very deep rope burn completely around her face; across the back of her neck, and onto her chest. The rope had also cut deep into her left cheek.
It was all I could do to hold her hand and tell her she was going to be fine and that it wasn’t that bad. I wanted to be upbeat around her and make her feel safe. After a couple of minutes however, I excused myself to the restroom where I wept uncontrollably for at least ten minutes.
The story was told to me that she and Sage hopped on the Jet Skis shortly after arriving at the lake. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was low on the horizon. As a result, the sun reflected off the lake, and Melissa couldn’t see what was in front of her. Each on separate watercrafts, Melissa and Sage headed directly into the sun. Melissa didn’t see a boat, towing a water skier, directly in front of her. She went directly between the boat and the skier and hit the rope. The skier saw her and tried to lift the rope to allow her to slip underneath: She took a direct hit in her open mouth. The force pulled the rope out of the skier’s hands and the rope proceeded to wrap itself completely around her head. With the boat and the Jet Ski still moving, the force broke the handle off the rope but then pulled off in a whipping action that caused the frayed end to whip across her chest and cut deep burns into her face.
The plastic surgeon told us that the rope burns were third degree burns. The burns were very deep and went from the corners of her mouth, across her cheeks, directly under both ear lobes, and behind her neck. The back of her neck was raw flesh. The swelling was terrible: Her head seemed to be twice the size of normal. She looked awful.
The surgeon proceeded to sew up the cut into her cheek. It was a cut that went essentially an inch into her cheek; thus making her mouth an inch wider. The surgeon told us he didn’t have a treatment for the burns. He proceeded to tell us that there was no way of knowing how these burns would heal. We simply needed to give it time. He said it could very well heal with little scarring, or could heal with the large thick skin that is more often associated with third degree burns. We were instructed to take her to the Primary Children’s burn clinic when we got back to Salt Lake.
She was released from the Hospital that morning early. We went to my brother Jim’s Saint George house for what was the rest of the night. When we got there, I proceeded to give Melissa a Priesthood blessing. Then I went to be alone to pray. The next several hours were filled with countless pleadings and countless tears: Over and over again I asked myself why I had let her go? More importantly I wanted to know why the Lord had assured me it was okay to let her go.
Sometime over the next few hours or days, as my prayers were sent out on behalf of my beautiful little daughter, the Spirit of the Lord came over me in a very calming assurance. “Scott, I too know the pain of allowing one of my children to go into certain harm… and sending them anyway. This lesson is for you.” In a very real sense, I had a small understanding of how hard it was for Heavenly Father to send his Son to die when he knew what would happen to him.
The blessing I gave Melissa that night assured me that she would be healed without scars. To this day, Melissa has very faint lines of where this accident took place. If someone didn’t know about the accident, they would never notice the scars. Their faint remainder are a reminder to me of the scars my Savior still bears as a witness of the love of God for me.
As a result of this accident, I have become a different parent. I have learned to trust God much more. I have come to the realization that I am not in charge and that I have no control over serious events happening in my life, or the life of those I love. All I have, and all safety and protection lies in the hands of the Lord. I have learned that I need to trust him to protect me and my children. If he doesn’t, there is a reason for it—that I am certain of.
As the school year drew to an end that year, and as I continued teaching seminary, things seemed to be going extremely well. My students liked me and it appeared that those in influential places did as well. I was evaluated and interviewed by all the necessary people. When it was all said and done—I wasn’t hired by the church. I was very hurt.
Looking back on this seminary teaching experience, I know that the Lord’s hand was in the decision. I am certain it wasn’t the right thing for me. However, it was very difficult for me. Brother Iba, the CES Zone Leader that lived across the street from me was very apologetic. He gave me a big hug of thanks when we returned to Maryland.
I didn’t know how much this rejection affected me at the time, but again in hind-sight I see that I turned a little bitter for the next couple of years. I found myself suffering spiritually due to a feeling of “what’s the use”? I found myself more susceptible to temptation as a result and made some poor decisions. It seemed I was doing all the right things for all the right reasons. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t hired.
With several years between then and now, I have a real perspective of the many lessons I learned from this experience. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without these experiences. I can honestly say now that I am grateful for the Lord having a better understanding of the “big picture”. I have a greater understanding of the gospel and of the Atonement.
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