Unexpected

I am writing this post today from the heart of Kolkata (Calcutta), India. It’s about three in the afternoon and it is hot and rainy. Ann, my two sons Joe and Matt, and I are here working for an organization that educates the children of the slums. It has been a life changing experience for all of us.

The reason I am taking the time to write a post at this time is because I had an incredibly moving experience this morning... one that I didn’t expect. I feel a need to share my experience before it fades in my memory. I want to credit my good friend and travel partner Rand Snyderman for his insights on this topic.

Several days ago we had the opportunity of visiting one of the Seven Wonders of the World... the Taj Mahal. I have to admit it was very spectacular and wonderful. As you well know, it was built as a mausoleum for the third wife of famous king. The king himself is also buried in this monumental setting. Despite the majority of India practicing the Hindu faith, this monument is Muslim and considered a holy site. As I visited this fascinating place, I felt nothing.

In stark contrast, this morning I visited the home of Mother Teresa, Missionaries of Charity. This is the place that Mother Teresa lived during the last 2 or 3 decades of her life, and the place she is now buried. As I entered I immediately felt the Spirit. I knew it was a very different place from others I have been. It wasn’t the same as the temple, but it was indeed a sacred place. As I climbed the humble stairs that led to her meager sleeping quarters, with a small cot, and a small desk, in a 6’ X 8’ room, my heart was touched and I wept.

I walked through a very small museum with a timeline of her life. It quoted many of her famous sayings and shared her thoughts as she dedicated more and more of herself to the Savior by dedicating her life to the poor. I will quote from the text of the timeline.

“It was on the 10th of September in 1946, Mother Teresa was thirty six years old. She was on a train on her way to Darjeeling to make her yearly retreat, where she would spend eight days in silence, praying to God. On that train she experienced Jesus speaking to her. He was asking her to give up everything, even Loreto (the convent where she had been living and serving), and follow Him into the slums, to serve Him in the people who had nothing or no one and who were suffering so much - the poorest of the poor. Jesus was thirsting to love and be loved by them. It was a new vocation, a call within a call. Mother Teresa knew that it was God who was asking this of her and that it was to be his work. Still, she was afraid - she didn’t know how she could do what Jesus wanted but at the same time, she didn’t want to say no to him.”

“For more than six months Mother Teresa kept hearing Jesus speak to her. He told her “My little one - come, come, carry Me into the holes of the poor. Come, be my light, I cannot go alone- they don’t know Me- so they don’t want Me. Once she saw a vision: she saw many very poor people and children calling out to her: “Come, come, save us - bring us to Jesus.”

A small plaque rests on top of her grave that reads “Love one another as I have loved you.” John 15:12

Mother Teresa suffered many hardships throughout her life. She suffered from many illnesses that were prevalent among the poor with whom she was serving. However, not until her death were her innermost thoughts shared through her personal journal. I quote once again fro the museum.

“There was something , however, that the sisters and the people never knew about Mother Teresa. They knew about the pain in her body but they never knew about the pain terrible pain she had in her soul. She loved God with her whole heart, soul, mind, and strength, and she used to feel God’s great love for her. Then everything changed for her. As soon as she began to work among the poor, she didn’t feel that God was close to her anymore, even though she continued to love God as much as before. For many years she felt that God had abandoned her, that He didn’t want her, even that He didn’t love her at all. But He of course did. God was hiding His presence from her. He was letting her share how He felt when He was dying on the cross and how many of the poor people feel- lonely, unwanted and unloved. She understood the poor so well because she experienced the same rejection and loneliness as they did. Mother Teresa did not act on her feelings but kept on praying, loving, and serving God. Her smile smile kept anyone from guessing what she was feeling inside.”

For the past several days we have been working among these same poor. It has been life changing. However, we have done it from the relative comfort of a school. Although hot and poorly ventilated, it has been relatively clean. Each night we have gone home to a hot meal and hot shower. Never have we worked in the squalor of the slums. My heart has been touched by Mother Teresa.

At times when we feel abandoned by the Lord, or feel that he is not responding to our pleas, do we consider that He is teaching us an important lesson? Can we learn to love others as Mother Teresa did, and keep a smile throughout our trials?

On a personal note, I have recently been prompted by the Lord to do something that I consider very difficult. I have wondered how I could possibly do what he is asking me to do. After learning more about Mother Teresa today and feeling of her goodness and devotion, I feel encouraged that I too can do difficult things.

Our Earthly Mission

As with most Latter-day-Saints, this past Sunday was Fast Sunday, the day set aside each month where faithful members of the church abstain from eating for 24 hours. The purpose of this fast is two-fold; it is a time to put off the natural man and rely more upon the spirit, and it is a time to donate money to those in need by contributing to the church, the money saved by skipping meals. Those who fast meaningfully and with purpose are blessed with greater spirituality and their faith is strengthened.

We are encouraged to fast with a purpose. This generally means that we keep an issue or a person forefront in our hearts and minds while fasting and ask Heavenly Father for increased help in behalf of this need. It is common to fast in behalf of someone who is sick or to fast while seeking help with a particular need or problem. Fasting without a purpose is really just going hungry.

This past Sunday I had several things I was fasting for. I always ask Heavenly Father for help in becoming more humble and being more receptive to his spirit. I always fast in behalf of my children, that they too can be more receptive of the things of the spirit. This time, however, I fasted for several others as well. I fasted in behalf of a child in my Ward that is struggling with controlling epilepsy. His parents are beside themselves with worry as they strive to help their little boy. I fasted in behalf of my niece whose husband recently passed away leaving her to care for her four children without him. I fasted in behalf of the young son of a niece who seems to have an unexplained illness. And finally I fasted in behalf of a dear friend who is really suffering from the result of sin in his life. All these are real needs that have been in my thoughts and prayers continuously.

The reason I mention these things is because they are all examples of how this life is really hard and full of difficult challenges. It is amazing that all these difficult circumstances, along with many more, are going on in the tiny circle of people that I know and love. No one is exempt from the difficulties of this life. More importantly, none of have really any control of what happens to us here. God only is in control.

I am certain that most of you have already heard of or seen the letter from Sister Lisa Laylock that was recently published in Meridian Magazine. Sister Laylock and her husband President Larry Laylock are currently presiding over the Santiago Chile East Mission. About two weeks prior to the recent Chilean earthquake, Sister Laylock had a dream warning her of the earthquake. President and Sister Laylock spent the next two weeks preparing their missionaries for the earthquake. She wrote “We learned an important lesson: our preparation helped us to avoid panic and fear, but the Lord, in His wisdom, allowed us to experience enough discomfort to know that He has all power. He is in charge. We are nothing without Him. We are dependent upon Him for every breath we take. Only He can save us from death and destruction. He is the way, the truth, and the life. He is our perfect example. If we follow Him, we will be saved through obedience to the laws and ordinances of His Gospel.”

I too have learned from personal experience that I am not in control. I have previously written a blog that dealt with a serious accident with my oldest daughter. No matter how much we want to protect our children and those we love, we don’t really have the power to do so. All we are and all we have rests in God’s hands.

As we try to be in control, we should be reminded of the scripture found in Doctrine and Covenants 121: 33 “How long can rolling waters remain impure? What power shall stay the heavens? As well might man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river in its decreed course, or to turn it up stream, as to hinder the Almighty…” I have often thought of how the Lord must see us as “puny armed” as we try to be in control.

One question I have often asked myself throughout my life is “why do I make life harder than it already is?” Life is already full of difficult challenges, so why do we make it worse? We have already established that there are many awful things that we are subjected to in this life that we have no control over, however, many difficulties in this life are brought on by carelessness, disobedience and rebellion.

A wise and dear friend has shared an analogy of life that he feels came to him by revelation: I believe he is right. He once told me that this life experience is very similar to preparing for, serving, and coming home from a full-time mission. We anticipate it and prepare for it for many years. We know the rules before we go and generally know what will be expected of us while there. We go for a specific purpose. We have people that have gone before us to help us while there. When we depart for it our family and friends are there to see us off. While serving we are confronted by many challenges that we didn’t anticipate and that may be very difficult. Some dedicate themselves and are faithful and hard working. Others try to do as little as possible and slide through with as little effort as possible. Some become ill but recover. Others become ill and need to come home. Some are in accidents and may be injured. Some may be killed. Some give up and go home early. Some make poor choices and are constantly in trouble. Others rebel and are sent home early. Some barely make it through; others are faithful through the end. Under most scenarios, when we return home there is a celebration. Family and friends are there to greet us. We are able to rest briefly knowing we have served well.

The most difficult missionaries seem to be those that are rebellious; those that are constantly and knowingly breaking the rules. They want to get away with as much as possible without getting sent home. They make foolish and often dangerous choices. They simply don’t want to leave the world behind.

Most of us who have served missions know missionaries that were described by one of these examples (I am sure there are fewer rebellious ones now since the “bar” has been raised). I had one as a companion. It was very difficult.

Similarly in life we have many eternal brothers and sisters that have many difficulties because of foolish choices. Some cut their lives short by participating in extreme and dangerous activities. Others are openly rebellious (all of us are rebellious to some extent) and are involved in disobeying the law of chastity or some other immoral or perverted activity. Sometimes we are injured in accidents that are no fault of our own: Other times our accidents are consequences of our actions. Sometimes we become ill by no fault of our own, other times we bring illnesses upon us by not taking care of ourselves. This may include smoking, drinking, unhealthy eating, or other unhealthy actions.

Thankfully we have a Heavenly Father that loves us and has prepared a way for us to return to Him… no matter what kind of missionary we have been. I have learned through the crucible of my own life that “wickedness never was happiness,” and that true joy and happiness only comes by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel.

I have learned through my own experience and can therefore testify with authority that the atonement of Jesus Christ is real. We can be forgiven of our wickedness and our sins. Even those we were openly rebellious about, if we will turn from our rebellion and turn to Christ. We must forsake our rebellious nature and ask our Savior to change our hearts. By so doing, we will one day be greeted with the words “Well done thou good and faithful servant.”

Forgiveness

Forgiveness

I begin this post once again with thoughts from C.S. Lewis’ “Mere Christianity”. He states in his Forgiveness chapter with the idea that likely the most unpopular of Christian virtues is “Thou shalt Love thy neighbor as thyself.” He validates this by saying “Because in Christian morals, ‘thy neighbor’ includes ‘thy enemy,’ so we come up against the terrible duty of forgiving our enemies.”

Everyone seems to think that forgiveness is a wonderful virtue… until they have to forgive someone. Then it becomes very difficult. Lewis asks “I wonder how you’d feel about forgiving the Gestapo if you were a Pole or a Jew?”

Many of us are very bold in telling ourselves and others that we would gladly give our lives for our faith… but are we willing to for-give? We continue to read in Mere Christianity “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those that sin against us.’ There is no slightest suggestion that we are offered forgiveness on any other terms. It is made perfectly clear that if we do not forgive we shall not be forgiven. There are no two ways about it. What are we to do?”

All of us have had to forgive others throughout our lives. I have had some pretty amazing experiences with this in my own life that I will share. One in particular is too sacred and I will keep it to myself. However, C.S. Lewis, in his amazing fashion puts a new spin on this idea when he writes “I remember Christian teachers telling me long ago that I must hate a bad man’s actions, but not hate the bad man: or, as they would say, hate the sin but not the sinner. For a long time I used to think this was a silly, straw splitting distinction: how could you hate what a man did and not hate the man? But years later it occurred to me that there was one man to whom I had been ding this all my life—namely myself. However much I might dislike my own cowardice or conceit or greed, I went on loving myself. There has never been the slightest difficulty about it. In fact the very reason why I hated the things was that I loved the man. Just because I loved myself, I was sorry to find that I was the sort of man who did those things.”

A couple of years ago, when were studying the teachings of President Spencer W. Kimball in Priesthood meeting and Relief Society, we had a lesson about forgiveness (As author of ‘The Miracle of Forgiveness’ he is considered an expert on the subject). The discussion was lively; many ideas were expressed. Someone asked “are we supposed to forget about others sins?” Another asked “how can we forget our own sins?” The most thought provoking question was “do we need to be “buddy buddy” with someone who has hurt us? The question was based around a financial deal that had gone bad. The discussion in the high priests quorum ultimately concluded with the consensus that “you need to forgive but you don’t necessarily need to “hang out” with them.” This answer caused me to do some serious thinking and I have come to the conclusion that they were wrong.

Undoubtedly there are some reading this blog that have experienced serious hurt from someone they deeply trusted. Perhaps an adult was abused as a child by a love one. Perhaps a Father had an internet addiction that caused serious hurt. Or perhaps a spouse had an inappropriate relationship outside of marriage. In each of these instances, forgiveness is not only the act of forgiveness itself… but learning to once again love and adore the sinner. Now that is forgiveness!!!

Some months ago I had an experience that has changed my life. I was reading in Denver Snuffer’s ‘The Second Comforter’ (a book I will one day discuss in detail) and read how the standards of the Lord are so high, that he not only asks us to forgive our enemies, but to pray for them! I was touched deeply by this thought: I had to take some action.

I had a business associate who had deeply offended me and cost me thousands of dollars in losses over many years. He had flat out lied to my face and made life difficult for me for a time. After reading this quote, I knew I needed to not only forgive him… but to pray for him. I knelt down, and in the most awkward manner possible, began to pray for him. It was very difficult but something I knew I must do. For the next week or so, I prayed for this individual morning and night. I prayed for his success and for his family. I was sincere but it was difficult. A few days later I forgot about it.

About a week later, to my huge surprise, this man came into my office and asked to meet with my brother and I. As we sat to talk, his eyes filled with tears and he proceeded to apologize for the way he treated us. He was sincere and truly broken hearted and contrite. I sat in amazement!

Of course my brother and I forgave him and we parted friends. After he left I sat pondering in my heart… thanking the Lord. I went to my brother who knew nothing of my prayers, and said “let me tell you the rest of the story.” We marveled together of the Lord’s goodness.

Yes, forgiveness is a Christian virtue; perhaps the most difficult. But learning to forgive… and I mean really forgiving is one of the most God-like characteristics we can develop. My we never give up on this one!

The Law of Sacrifice and the Sacrament

As the Young Men’s President of my Ward, I have the opportunity of being connected to the administration of the Sacrament every week. Recent reading, Temple attendance, and pondering have given me some interesting insights to the relationships between the Law of Sacrifice as explained in the Old Testament, and the Sacrament instituted at the Last Supper of the Savior, and ultimately to the Sacrament we take each week as Latter Day Saints.

This is a rather difficult subject, and one that will continue to play out in my mind throughout my life but I would like to express my feelings today. I pray I can do the topic justice. Please know these ideas are mine and by no means do they represent doctrine of the LDS faith.

We read in Moses in the Pearl of Great Price that after Adam and Eve were driven out of the Garden of Eden for disobedience, (Moses 4:27) “Unto Adam, and also unto his wife, did I, the Lord God, make coats of skins, and clothed them.” In the very next chapter we read (Moses 5:5-8)” And he gave unto them commandments, that they should worship the Lord their God, and should offer the firstlings of their flocks, for an offering unto the Lord. And Adam was obedient unto the commandments of the Lord.
And after many days an angel of the Lord appeared unto Adam, saying: Why dost thou offer sacrifices unto the Lord? And Adam said unto him: I know not, save the Lord commanded me.
And then the angel spake, saying: This thing is a similitude of the sacrifice of the Only Begotten of the Father, which is full of grace and truth .
Wherefore, thou shalt do all that thou doest in the name of the Son, and thou shalt repent and call upon God in the name of the Son forevermore.”

I don’t think that it was a coincidence that the “coats of skins” and the sacrifice of animals came at the same time. It seems to reason that the Lord taught Adam the Law of Sacrifice while He was making the coat of skins for him. Where else would he have taken the skins from? We know that Adam had recent named all of the animals: Were these coverings made from animals that Adam was familiar and fond of?

Any time there have been covenant people of the Lord on the earth, the Lord has required the Law of Sacrifice from them. Nowhere are the ordinances of the law better outlined than in the book of Leviticus. Brigham Young, and many others for that matter, taught that all things in the Old Testament point to Christ. Many of the symbols found in the Law of Sacrifice in Moses’ day are obvious; the lamb was to be the first born, without blemish, no bones were to be broken etc. The relationship of these to Christ is without question. How do they compare however, to the Sacrament today?

In the Old Testament, as I understand it, the sacrifice was laid upon the alter. There were specific steps to follow for each part of the animal, the meat and the blood. There is no question that flesh was cut of “torn” apart and the blood was sprinkled around the alter. Interestingly the meat was not to be consumed by the fire, but along with the hide of the animal, was to be used for the use of the priests and their families (coats of skins?).

In Leviticus 4 we read “ 3 If the priest that is anointed do sin according to the sin of the people; then let him bring for his sin, which he hath sinned, a young bullock without blemish unto the LORD for a sin offering.
4 And he shall bring the bullock unto the door of the tabernacle of the congregation before the LORD; and shall lay his hand upon the bullock’s head, and kill the bullock before the LORD.
5 And the priest that is anointed shall take of the bullock’s blood, and bring it to the tabernacle of the congregation:

And in verse 20 we read “And he shall do with the bullock as he did with the bullock for a sin offering, so shall he do with this: and the priest shall make an atonement for them, and it shall be forgiven them.

The Sacrament in our own Wards today takes place at the front of the chapel where all can see. How is it similar to an alter that might have been found in an ancient Temple or a Latter Day Temple? (This is a point for all to ponder). Ancient sacrifices were performed behind a veil. Is the tablecloth covering the sacrament a type of veil? (Another point to ponder). The Priests tear the bread (Christ’s body) into pieces, and water (the blood) is poured into cups.

After the “offerings” are prepared, the Priests kneel (as at an alter) and offer the following prayers: (Moroni 4) “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it; that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy Son, and witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they are willing to take upon them the name of thy Son, and always remember him, and keep his commandments which he hath given them, that they may always have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.

And (Moroni 5) “O God, the Eternal Father, we ask thee, in the name of thy Son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this wine to the souls of all those who drink of it, that they may do it in remembrance of the blood of thy Son, which was shed for them; that they may witness unto thee, O God, the Eternal Father, that they do always remember him, that they may have his Spirit to be with them. Amen.”

Through modern revelation we learn that through this ordinance we are able to renew the covenants we made at baptism. Through proper preparation and sincere repentance, this offering is able to give us forgiveness for our sins.

In Ancient Israel a lamb without blemish was able to be offered as a sacrifice to allow for forgiveness from sins. In our day, as we offer a sacrifice of a broken heart, and a contrite spirit, and are willing to give up the things of the world and repent, a Lamb, without blemish is able to wash away our sins, and we are able to receive forgiveness so that we too may be found “spotless at the last day”.