Our Perfect Older Brother

I am in Scottsdale, Arizona this week for work. I have been putting in a lot of hours so I haven’t had much time to write a blog post. I was able to get away early yesterday morning and attended a 5:30 am temple session at the Mesa Temple. Each time I attend an early morning session at any temple I am awed by the number of people that are dedicated to making temple attendance work in their busy lives. It is wonderful to associate with like minded people. I have a few hours to myself tonight so would like to share some thoughts about what I have been reading.

Tonight’s post is definitely just my opinion or simply some thoughts I have been having. I fully expect others to disagree with me on this one or to have a differing point of view. I welcome your comments and perhaps we can learn together.

I made a goal at the beginning of the year to read the entire “Messiah” series by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. I started with “The Promised Messiah” and am about half way through this volume that tops out at 635 pages. I have learned many wonderful things from this book but I would like to address one topic in particular.

In Chapter 10 of Elder McConkie’s book, he writes “Our Lord, who is the Firstborn spirit child of the Eternal Elohim, is himself also the Eternal One.” The part of this sentence that struck me was that Christ is not only the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, but also the firstborn spirit child of the Father. Now this is nothing new, but I guess it is the first time I have seen it written by someone with authority. I know it is a widely believed concept in the church. It is likely scriptural as well but I don’t know the verse.

Where my thoughts went as I pondered this topic was in the following direction: What makes Jesus more special than us? Now I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way. I have a testimony of his divinity and of His mission and calling. I mean this in the most respectful way possible. What made Christ perfect and obedient when we come from the same “source” as Him? Why is He strong and we are weak? Why is He perfect and we are full of sin? What is it about Him being the oldest? I have a theory! Let’s take a look.

We know from modern revelation that Michael, who helped create the earth, became Adam, out first father. I have heard many times in the church as well, that we too were there during the creation of the earth. Many times in the scriptures we know we can place ourselves in the stories and know they apply to us as well. I believe that we too, along with Adam were a significant part of the creation.

In Abr. 3 we read the following: 22 “Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;”

Who do these “noble and great ones” include? Is this limited to just a few “Prophets and Apostles”, or were we, as endowed faithful followers among them as well?


Before I write the following I wish to clarify here that I by no means wish to bring Christ down to our level and make us equals in any way. I do however hope to lift us to a higher level: closer to His.

In Ether 12 we read “27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”

This is one of the most misquoted scriptures in the church. Most people read it and believe that God shows us our “weaknesses”. This is not what it says… He shows us our weakness! The verse then goes on to say I give men “weakness” to make them humble. Does he give us weakness because in reality we are strong? If he doesn’t make us weak would we not be able to learn to rely on Him? Have we taken a giant step down in this life in order to make our mortal probation more meaningful and to become more like God knowing good from evil?” Are we more ready to receive “crowns of glory” than we give ourselves credit for?

In the Pre-existence were we part of the noble and great ones, who helped create the earth, and were valiant followers of the Fathers plan? Is this why we were so willing to support the great Jehovah being our redeemer and rejecting Lucifer’s plan?

Is Jesus, our older spirit brother, greater than we are because He was willing to step forward in the beginning, and to be our Redeemer? Is this one of the things that makes Him greater than us? Did this willingness raise Him to perfection in the premortal world?

Christ is not only perfect spiritually speaking. We know that he is the only perfect mortal being as well. Is the fact that He is the only mortal being to have our Heavenly Father as the father of his body and spirit what makes him perfect? If he had had an earthly father and an earthly mother, would he have sinned as we do, and thus be unable to be the Savior?

My theory is that we are much closer to the Savior than we give ourselves credit for. We were great beings in the premortal world. We were leaders there and helped create the earth. Where we fall short in being like the Savior is the fact that He stepped forward and was willing to take on the sins of all the world. His mortal body that has God’s “DNA” made it possible for him to live a perfect life as well. His strength to withstand evil and temptation was a combination of His perfect spirit and his perfect body: His Mother made him mortal so he could understand our “weakness” but his Father made him divine.

I don’t want to diminish the importance or the perfection of the Savior in any way. I am simply hoping that we can look at ourselves as children of God. I want us to see ourselves in true light… as potential Kings and Queens. I believe that if we know who we are, we will strive harder to live up to our full potential. We must all be better at repenting of our sins and keeping the commandments.

As I mentioned earlier, these views written in this post are simply thoughts I have had. I don’t mean to imply they are true or doctrine in any way. I encourage contrasting points of view that can help teach me the truth. I can tell you that I have a firm testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and that he died for our sins. And that only through him can we return to live with the Father. He is our Perfect Example.

Our Perfect Example

Last week I had the opportunity of attending the Timpanogos Temple with Ann, a couple of friends, and Denver Snuffer. It was a really wonderful morning and I have never quite felt the spirit that way in the temple before. We attended a session and then had some time to just sit and talk in the Celestial room. What I liked about that morning was being in a place where the spirit of the Lord was abundantly present, with like minded people that I know are really trying to follow the Savior and His teachings.

Simply by coincidence, that day was the one year anniversary of my beginning the book by Denver Snuffer called “The Second Comforter: Conversing with the Lord through the Veil.” My reading of this book changed the course of my life forever, and was instrumental in making 2009 one of the greatest years of spiritual growth in my life.

I learned many important lessons last year, but the two greatest I would have to say are that the Book of Mormon truly contains the fullness of the gospel: I have come to believe that the Bible was written and preserved in order to prepare people for the Book of Mormon. And that regular temple attendance is a method for learning about the Savior and the great plan of our Heavenly Father that can’t be matched.

Above all, last year taught me that I need to be a better person. I learned that I need to be less selfish. I learned that I need to be kinder. I learned that I need to be more faithful in keeping the commandments. I learned that I need to follow the Savior more fully.

While contemplating the things I need to do to be a better person, I listened once again to President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from last general conference. He titled his talk “Our Perfect Example.” His talk of course was about following the Savior. I would like to share some of my thoughts about this talk.

Elder Eyring starts out his talk by reminding us that we all will one day meet the Savior. Whether in this life, or in the world to come I don’t know but I look forward to this day with great hope and anticipation. He then quotes from Moroni in the Book of Mormon.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”
Elder Eyring then goes on and tells us that a Primary Song teaches us what we must do to prepare ourselves for this great occasion:

I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”

It seems simple, doesn’t it?… love one another as Jesus did. Show kindness in all we do. Heed the still small voice as it guides us. This is how we prepare to see the Savior.

President Eyring goes on to write: “Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along the way towards becoming like Him, our perfect example. Our way of life, hour by hour, must be filled with the love of God and love for others. There is no surprise in that, since the Lord proclaimed those as the first and great commandments. It is love of God that will lead us to keep His commandments. And love of others is at the heart of our capacity to obey Him.
Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.
That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow. A man and a woman are to make sacred covenants that they will put the welfare and happiness of the other at the center of their lives. Children are to be born into a family where the parents hold the needs of children equal to their own in importance. And children are to love parents and each other.”

It is interesting to note that he says that our greatest joys and our greatest sorrows come in our family relationships; Joy from selflessness… and sorrow from selfishness.

I for one have learned that I have been far too selfish in my family relationships. I have been far too selfish in my relationship with my wife Ann. I have seen the joy that comes from forgetting about my own needs and putting Ann’s first. I certainly haven’t perfected it yet, but I am working on it.

He goes on to counsel husbands and wives “Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.” Imagine the good that can come from following this counsel!

He then goes on to counsel the parents of wandering children (aren’t we all wandering children in one way or another?) “The story of the prodigal son gives us all hope. The prodigal remembered home, as will your children. They will feel your love drawing them back to you. Elder Orson F. Whitney, in a general conference of 1929, gave a remarkable promise, which I know is true, to the faithful parents who honor the temple sealing to their children: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold.”

Then he goes on to say: “Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” You can pray for your children, love them, and reach out to them with confidence that Jesus reaches for them with you. When you keep trying, you are doing what Jesus does.”

Sometimes it seems overwhelming that we need to try harder to be more like the Savior. Perhaps we don’t see the progress that we are making. Elder Eyring points out a couple of ways: “It will help to remember how you have felt, at times, like a little child, even in the midst of cares and trials. You have felt the peace of a pure little child at times when you have tried to be like Jesus. You have felt it in your family when you asked the pardon of your spouse or forgave a child for some mistake or disobedience. These moments will come more often as you try to do the things you know Jesus would do. Because of His Atonement for you, your childlike obedience will bring a feeling of love of the Savior for you and your love for Him. That is one of the gifts that is promised to His faithful disciples. And this gift can come not only to you alone but also to the loving members of your family. The promise was given in 3 Nephi: “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”

I know that as we strive to keep the commandments and to follow the Savior, our perfect example, that our efforts will be blessed by the power of the Atonement and that we will make progress in our quest to return to Him.

Julie's Conversion

The past couple of weeks I have felt very inspired by events happening in my life, but I am having a hard time finding the right thing to write about. Therefore I haven't done a post for awhile: Sorry about that. In the mean time, I am posting another story from my journal. It was origianlly written in my journal in 2006 but was an event from years ago. I hope you all enjoy it!

August 20, 2006

In about January of 1981, I was in the final months of my full-time mission in the Belgium, Antwerp Mission. I was serving in the city of Brussels. This was my second time in the Brussels branch. I spent the first four months of my mission in Brussels, and I spent the last eight there as well. As a result, I had a great relationship with the members of the branch. I had the blessing the last eight months of being a Zone Leader in the mission. This allowed me to have great companions. My companion at the time was Elder Loren Betteridge. Interestingly enough, I had three companions in a row come to me, and then be called as Assistant to the President. They were Randy Thurgood, Steven Kapp Perry, and Loren Betteridge.

I remember distinctly being on a “team teaching” split with Brother DeVille of the Brussels branch when he made the comment that he was tired of the missionaries pushing investigators to be baptized in only a few weeks of investigation of the church. He felt it was more appropriate to investigate the church for years before joining, like he had. He felt this was the way to prevent inactivity.

As a companionship we were determined to prove him wrong. We prayed earnestly to find a person or family who would investigate the church for only three weeks, be baptized, and become an active leader in the branch. We wanted to show the members that it could be done.

After sincere prayer, we felt a strong urge to go back to an area known as Meisse-Oppem. In this area there was a large subdivision of new homes; primarily of young families. We were very hesitant to go to this area because we had just recently exhausted it through tracting efforts. Experience showed that returning again brought a lot of slammed doors and irate people. However, the promptings of the spirit were obvious. We went back.

One morning while tracting in this area, we knocked on a door of a young mother (about 30). She invited us in. She thought we were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Interestingly enough, she was a black woman. It was rather rare at the time to find a Dutch speaking black person in Belgium. Anyway, she began to take the missionary discussions.

Almost immediately the lessons we were teaching her began to make a lot of sense to her in her life. She began accepting the principles of the gospel right away. She accepted the Word of Wisdom and stopped smoking. She read the Scripture assignments we gave her. She was a “golden Investigator”. Her name was Julie Van Wauwe. She had two daughters Leslie (9) and Pascal (4). She was divorced.

Julie, and her daughter Leslie were baptized February 5, 1981. It was almost exactly 3 weeks after we found them. Julie bore her testimony the following Sunday in Fast and Testimony Meeting.

These baptisms were a great blessing in our lives. Elder Betteridge and I were able to achieve the mission “Standard of Excellence” that week which was an award for tracking progress. It was a great accomplishment. We were thrilled about the experience however, it didn’t seem at the time that a single mother was going to be the “leader” we were looking for. She was young, poor, and not working. To young missionaries, she seemed like someone who would take a lot of effort from the other members to keep active. Little did we know what the Lord had in store for her.

Sister VanWauwe and her children and I remained close until it was time for me to return home. I remember leaving one of my missionary name tags with her when I left. We agreed to stay in touch.

We wrote a few times over the next year or so. I even remember calling her once to talk by telephone. In the Spring of 1982 she wrote me a letter telling me she had “met someone”; a man in the branch who was baptized a few months after she was. She told me his name was Erik and that he was the first counselor in the branch presidency. She said they were probably going to be married. That was the last time I heard from her.

In spite of thinking of them many times over the following years, I didn’t go to a lot of effort to find them. I didn’t have an address and didn’t know Erik’s last name. I figured they would be too hard to find. At mission reunions I would ask others about her. Most didn’t remember her. As I spoke with other missionaries who had been back, they didn’t recall seeing her. This is where I let it sit for 25 years.

Ann and I had always intended to go to Europe together, we just couldn’t find the time. In the Spring of 2006 the opportunity arose but we need to leave within a couple of weeks to make it work. We bought tickets and began to make an itinerary. I was determined to find people who had been important to me in Belgium. This included finding Julie.

While speaking by phone with one of my former missionary companions, James Quist, I learned of a member in Antwerp by the name of George Tuffin. He was apparently writing a history of the church in Belgium and seemed to know everyone. James Quist gave me the phone number and I made the call. I had several other specific members I was looking for and was able to find contact information for them. Then I described Julie and what I knew of her. He replied “I know exactly who you are looking for, they attend the Antwerpen Ward”. He then said “You are going to be happy about this one!” He gave me her phone number.

I made the phone call with great excitement but with butterflies as well. Julie answered the phone. After verifying that it was her, I said “this is Elder Webb”. There was a moment of hesitation followed by disbelief. She began to cry a little and stated “Where have you been Elder Webb? My life has been so blessed since you knocked on my door 25 years ago.”

We talked about 10 minutes. She asked about my family and I asked about hers. I told her that Ann and I were coming in about 2 weeks. She told me she had indeed married Erik Develter. She explained what a good man and husband he had been over the years. I asked about Leslie and Pascal and asked if there were others. She answered “ I am not going to tell you, you will need to come see.” I agreed. Over the next few days, via email, we determined a time that we would come to her home.

Ann and I made Belgium the last several days of our 16 day trip. When we went to Erik and Julie’s house on the day we were to arrive, she was waiting outside. She literally ran to the car and nearly pulled Ann out. I got out of the car and we all embraced. She looked terrific, much the same but even happier.

We were invited into her house. She was so excited for us to meet her “other children”. We were surprised to learn that she had four additional children with Erik. A total of 6 children! This is unheard of in Europe. The four younger children were all boys. The middle two were twins and approaching their 19th birthday. Erik was home as well and was very pleasant. He is a very fine man with an amazing testimony.

After exchanging many thoughts, and bring each other up on the status of our families, I learned about each of her children. Leslie is married with a family of her own. Unfortunately she is no longer active in the church. Pascal, now about 29 was also inactive. Bart, the oldest boy was a very nice looking man. He too in recent years has fallen into inactivity. The twins, Daniel and Emmanuel, are very active and were in the process of filling out mission applications. The youngest is Benjamin, a really great 15 year old boy.

It was Saturday, the day before Mothers day. We had lunch at her house which of course included Friets. After lunch we began to talk about the many events that had occurred in her life over the past 25 years. These included the events that ultimately brought her to Belgium.

She explained to us that she had been born in The Congo in the mid to late 1950’s. Her mother was a native of the Congo but her father was a French Baron. They were not married to one another. He had a coffee plantation in the Congo where Julie’s mother was a servant. In the early 1960’s, when Julie was 9, a political revolution broke out in the Congo. All Caucasians were either killed or forced to leave. Julie’s father was forced to leave the country. Prior to doing so however, her father had Julie kidnapped for her own safety. She was considered white by natives.

Without knowing why, Julie was snatched from her mothers arms and taken to an orphanage in Belgium. She was very alone in a very foreign place. She was in this orphanage 2 years before she was adopted by a Belgian family.

For reasons that are very apparent, Julie had many challenges in the following few years. She was emotionally scarred in many ways. She married when she was 18 and soon had her two girls. Her husband was very abusive; physically and verbally. It finally got to the point that she left him, put her children into foster care, and checked herself in to a mental hospital for treatment. She was there for a year.

As the story continued, Ann and I learned that when Elder Betteridge and I knocked on her door, she had only recently been released from the hospital and taken custody of her children. This explained why she was home in the middle of the day when we knocked on her door.

This story simply amazed us. As I thought back on the time that I was in her home as a young missionary, the problems she had recently encountered were never apparent to me. She stated, “I never had you over to my house for a meal, I simply couldn’t afford it”.

We spent the next two days together. On Saturday she took us sight seeing in Antwerp and showed us many sights. More than anything there seemed to be a deep feeling of love and appreciation for the gospel that had brought us together. We had so much to talk about. Ann and Julie hit it off right away and spent a lot of time talking. I spent much of the time getting to know Erik better. I learned that he too had been searching for the truth when the missionaries found him. He owned a bar at the time but quickly sold it and changed careers. He currently is an independent contractor for the Church. His job is to photograph old records for the genealogical department of the church. His geographical areas include Belgium, Holland, and Luxembourg. Amazingly he said that he photographs up to 4000 images per day and still has 10 years of work ahead of him.

The following day was Sunday; Mothers Day. We went to church with them, or in other words met them there. I never served in the Antwerp branch so I didn’t know a lot of people, however I knew a few. Since the closing of the Brussels branch, members divided up among several neighboring Wards. The Antwerp Ward has its own wonderful building in a nice neighborhood.

Sacrament meeting was very nice. Being Mother’s Day, the topic of the talks were Mother’s of course. It was nice to have Benjamin, Julie and Erik’s youngest son, be the youth speaker. Emmanuel, one of the twins, translated for Ann and others that needed English translation. The meeting ended of course with a potted flower being distributed to each woman in the Ward.

The most exciting part of the entire trip was seeing the way Julie and Erik and their family interacted among the other members of the Ward. They were definitely a catalyst in the Ward and drew others to them by their excitement and their testimonies. Their boys were the center of attention and were very influential in the lives of the other youth.

It was immediately apparent that the prayers of two missionaries, 25 years ago, were answered. Elder Betteridge and I didn’t realize how our prayers were answered far beyond our dreams. This experience has come to testify to me the truthfulness of the scripture “My ways are not your ways”. I have also seen how the gospel blesses the lives of so many.

After church we went back to their home for dinner and more catching up. I had photocopied everything I could find from my journal and from letters I had received from them. I passed these on to them. These items filled in many gaps in their personal history. I also gave them photos from their baptism which to my amazement was the first time they had seen them. Again, she was too poor to afford a camera. This was another thing that I as a young missionary simply hadn’t paid any attention to.

Julie began to fill us in on the details of her life. We learned that through an incredible series of events, she was able to locate her biological mother in Africa. Somehow she met a man from the Congo who agreed to go to her village and find her. Apparently there is still no mail service or telephone service in this part of the Congo. Julie had a picture of herself when she was 9 and had some faint memories of her mother. She remembered that her mother had a deformed eye.

A couple of months later the man informed her that he had found her. She described how she and Erik went there to meet her mother. She was treated like royalty and was able to meet a brother. She has been back a second time. She told us she once drove to her Father’s estate in France but he was out of the country. She didn’t feel good about going back. She has however developed a strong tie with Africa and feels a need to contribute.

Saying goodbye to Julie and her family was difficult. We had built a lasting bond. However, I still felt the need for her to love the gospel, and not the missionary that brought it to her. As we departed, she gave us a wrapped gift and asked us not to open it until we were back at our hotel. We agreed. When we got to the hotel I opened the gift. It was an elephant tusk with a carving of a woman’s face in it. She got it in Africa. I was speechless. I felt guilty for taking something that must have been so personal to her. When she gave it to us she said “this is something that will make you never forget me. She is right. I will never forget her.

Here we are at the end of August. A week from tomorrow, Emmanuel, one of her twins will be flying to Salt Lake to stay with us. We will take him to the MTC before he serves in Italy. Daniel, the other twin will go to the MTC in London a week later while preparing to go to France. What a blessing this is in our lives.

I have recently called Loren Betteridge in Tacoma Washington. He is a doctor there. I filled him in on the details and he too feels the blessings of this story. He has since contacted Julie and her family. It is such a great blessing for all of us.

Update
Since this was written in 2006, Daniel and Emmanuel have both served successful missions. Emmanuel recently was married to a young woman he met as a missionary in Italy. Sadly Julie and Erik have divorced but both continue to be active in their wards in Belgium.

Receiving Personal Revelation

Over the past few days I have had Elder Richard G. Scott’s talk from last conference (October 2009) referred to me several times. I guess I finally get the hint and realize it is something I should write about. I will do my best to express my feelings and impressions about this important subject.

Elder Scott’s talk is titled “To Acquire Spiritual Guidance” and covers the topic of receiving personal revelation. As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been in the habit over the past 4 or 5 years of limiting my listening selections while driving, to Conference talks and to Mormon Tabernacle Choir. I feel that this one decision has been important in my life and has helped me immeasurably as I have strived to let “virtue garnish my thought unceasingly.” I have the blessing of listening to most of the talks around 20 times between conferences. I have learned that it isn’t until the 5th or 6th time that I really begin to hear what is being taught.

Despite this habit, and having already listed to this talk probably 7 times, I had a very humbling experience while talking to my friend Donna Nielsen last week. Over Christmas Donna gave me a copy of her book “The Beloved Bridegroom.” She also gave me a couple of CD’s that have some of her lectures on them. Sister Nielsen has become an expert on ancient Jewish life and on ancient symbols found in the scriptures. She is a speaker at Education Week and has a vast knowledge of the scriptures.

I called Donna to ask for her insight on the symbol of the fig leaf in the Garden of Eden. I know this may seem strange but it has been something on my mind for months. I really wanted to understand what Adam and Eve were trying to “cover” when they used fig leaves to cover their “nakedness”.

After discussing this topic a bit, we began to talk about our experiences of how and where personal inspiration comes. I described how I was on a flight from Boise to Salt Lake last year, and suddenly had an answer come clearly to my mind on a topic that I had been pondering for weeks. In an unlikely place… at an unlikely time…the answer came clearly and powerfully. I then asked Donna about her experience. She began by introducing to me a term she called “divine conversations”: she said “Elder Scott explains it perfectly in his last conference talk, doesn’t he?”

I was a little dumbfounded. I had heard this talk many times but had no idea what she was talking about. I hadn’t had that impression at all in this talk. After finishing this call I went immediately to the church website and re-read this talk. It was like I was reading it for the first time. This method of “divine conversation” that she talked about seemed to jump off the page at me! I was amazed. I read it over and over.

Yesterday my stake, the Holladay North Stake, held its annual High Priest Quorum meeting. All the High Priests and their wives were invited, as well as the single sisters who have home teachers that are high priests. The topic of Elder Scott’s talk was addressed at the beginning and then each person was asked to make notes of impressions they received during each of the talks. It was a great experience and I made many notes. When I came home I followed his council and pondered and rewrote my impressions.

In a testimony meeting that followed, Peggy Matheson, a friend and a sister I home teach, bore testimony to how this talk had been meaningful in her life in recent weeks. She felt she had received guidance on how to proceed with her business when following this method. To top it off, she went to the temple last week and Elder Scott was in her session! She took that as a confirmation.

For anyone really seeking how to receive answers to important questions, and how to feel confident they are following the promptings of the spirit, I encourage you to read this talk again. I want to quote part of it here but please take the time to read all of it.

Elder Scott said “Now I share an experience that taught me a way to gain spiritual guidance. One Sunday I attended the priesthood meeting of a Spanish branch in Mexico City. I vividly recall how a humble Mexican priesthood leader struggled to communicate the truths of the gospel in his lesson material. I noted the intense desire he had to share those principles he strongly valued with his quorum members. He recognized that they were of great worth to the brethren present. In his manner, there was an evidence of a pure love of the Savior and love of those he taught.
His sincerity, purity of intent, and love permitted a spiritual strength to envelop the room. I was deeply touched. Then I began to receive personal impressions as an extension of the principles taught by that humble instructor. They were personal and related to my assignments in the area. They came in answer to my prolonged, prayerful efforts to learn.

As each impression came, I carefully wrote it down. In the process, I was given precious truths that I greatly needed in order to be a more effective servant of the Lord. The details of the communication are sacred and, like a patriarchal blessing, were for my individual benefit. I was given specific directions, instructions, and conditioned promises that have beneficially altered the course of my life.
Subsequently, I visited the Sunday School class in our ward, where a very well-educated teacher presented his lesson. That experience was in striking contrast to the one enjoyed in the priesthood meeting. It seemed to me that the instructor had purposely chosen obscure references and unusual examples to illustrate the principles of the lesson. I had the distinct impression that this instructor was using the teaching opportunity to impress the class with his vast store of knowledge. At any rate, he certainly did not seem as intent on communicating principles as had the humble priesthood leader.

In that environment, strong impressions began to flow to me again. I wrote them down. The message included specific counsel on how to become more effective as an instrument in the hands of the Lord. I received such an outpouring of impressions that were so personal that I felt it was not appropriate to record them in the midst of a Sunday School class. I sought a more private location, where I continued to write the feelings that flooded into my mind and heart as faithfully as possible. After each powerful impression was recorded, I pondered the feelings I had received to determine if I had accurately expressed them in writing. As a result, I made a few minor changes to what had been written. Then I studied their meaning and application in my own life.

Subsequently I prayed, reviewing with the Lord what I thought I had been taught by the Spirit. When a feeling of peace came, I thanked Him for the guidance given. I was then impressed to ask, “Was there yet more to be given?” I received further impressions, and the process of writing down the impressions, pondering, and praying for confirmation was repeated. Again I was prompted to ask, “Is there more I should know?” And there was. When that last, most sacred experience was concluded, I had received some of the most precious, specific, personal direction one could hope to obtain in this life. Had I not responded to the first impressions and recorded them, I would not have received the last, most precious guidance.

What I have described is not an isolated experience. It embodies several true principles regarding communication from the Lord to His children here on earth. I believe that you can leave the most precious, personal direction of the Spirit unheard because you do not respond to, record, and apply the first promptings that come to you.

Impressions of the Spirit can come in response to urgent prayer or unsolicited when needed. Sometimes the Lord reveals truth to you when you are not actively seeking it, such as when you are in danger and do not know it. However, the Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily.”

I get the following ideas from this talk:
• When spiritual impressions come, write them down.
• After writing them down, seek a place where you can ponder what you have written to determine if you have written it down accurately. Make changes as necessary.
• Thank the Lord for what you have received.
• Then ask if there is anything more… and listen for the answer.

As I think back on the last couple of years, and recognize the spiritual growth that I have made, I ask myself what have been the determining factors? Certainly one of these factors has been the amount of writing down of spiritual impressions that I have done. This blog is one of the places I have written as well as a personal journal that I have kept faithfully over the past two years. Now I don’t mean to imply that I have done a great job in these writings because I haven’t. But I certainly have written more over the last two years than any time previously. I have much to learn from this pattern that Elder Scott outlines and I need to start following it. I look forward to the promptings that will come as I do.

A Life Experience

For a little over two years now I have been keeping a journal that records how I have felt the Hand of the Lord in my life. I haven't written anywhere near daily... but have done so regularly. For Christmas this year I gave a copy of this journal to each of my children. Following is a true story written in that journal. It happened years earlier but I hadn't yet recorded it. It is quite long... but one that has had a profound influence on my life. I hope you enjoy it.

On Christmas of 1998, I received the biography of President Gordon B. Hinkley. It was a new book at the time and was popular in LDS circles. Since I had some time during the Christmas break, and we had just finished another successful business season, I devoted some time to reading it.

As I read the pages of this book, with its many remarkable stories, I began to be impressed how many programs in the church, as we currently know them, were the result of the efforts of this one remarkable man. Each time I would finish a reading session, I would put the book down and think to myself “one man really can make a difference!”

As I began pondering on my own life, I began to wonder what I should do to contribute more to the Kingdom of God. Many thoughts ran through my mind. Dominating my mind was the feeling that I should devote some time to teaching in the Church Education System.

As a college student at Utah /State University, I had taken all the necessary training courses to be a CES teacher but had never followed through with the student teaching portion. It was something I always had in the back of my mind. Perhaps the time was right.

Not knowing how to proceed, I decided to call my friend Jon Stevenson, the CES director in the Washington DC area. I asked how one goes about being a CES teacher. He explained that most teachers are hired after training at one of the Utah Institutes. The training I had years before was no longer valid. He asked “Why don’t you think of being a volunteer in your area?

Our area already had Seminary teachers so my only option was teaching an Institute class. I asked Jon how I should proceed. He informed me that he had a colleague in his same position in the Baltimore area, Brother Earl DeChamps: He suggested I give him a call. I asked if it were strange to call and essentially volunteer? He said “if someone in my area did that, I would fall off my chair.”

Ironically I had a related thought just a couple of weeks prior to this. In Sacrament meeting, a young returned missionary in my ward, Jared Muccaroni, had been called as the Young Single Adult representative for our ward. I thought to myself at that time “what a joke, what young single adults do we have?”

I called Bro. DeChamps on the phone and introduced myself. I explained to him what I wanted to do. He was happy to meet with me a few days later. In our meeting he explained to me that one of the biggest jobs of teaching Institute was recruiting. I then asked him what his expectations were. He replied “If you start out the semester with two students, and end the semester with four, I will consider you very successful”.

I followed all the necessary steps and got a call officially from the Ward. Soon afterward I began to make the class known among all the YSA in the ward.
This included both active and in-active members. I wrote individual letters and made phone calls and visits. Most of the contacts I made seemed to be excited.

I don’t remember how many showed up the first week, but I do remember that before long, we had 12 to 18 attending regularly. This gave me a great deal of satisfaction. More than anything, I was excited for the kids. Many hadn’t been to church in years. Others were looking for an excuse to come back. Anyway, the group became very strong, very quickly. Soon they were spending a lot of time together outside of Institute. It was a wonderful experience for all involved.

I continued recruiting throughout the Stake and made visits to neighboring Wards. Also the kids invited their member and non-member friends. Our class continued to grow. I remember one time having 29 kids in attendance!

Needless to say, Bro. DeChamps was impressed. At some point in the year he explained to me that he would soon be retiring and he felt it would be appropriate for me to take over his position. This seemed to be exactly what I was looking for. He explained that he had forwarded our success to his superiors and that they were interested in talking further. He then explained however that I need to go to Salt Lake for training if I really wanted a shot at it.

After discussing the possibilities with Ann and my children, we made arrangements to let someone live in our house, while we moved temporarily to Utah. The CES people in Utah were very accommodating. I learned that I was going to be able to take both training courses simultaneously. Normally they were taken two semesters in a row. In addition, I was given the opportunity to do my student teach at a local High School at the same time. This seemed to work out perfectly for us.

I really began to feel that everything was lining up perfectly for this position. To top it all off, the house we rented in Holladay was directly across the street from one of the 5 World Zone Leaders in the CES program. He was impressed by my willingness and by the many sacrifices I and my family were willing to make. In January of 1999, my family and I rented a U-Haul trailer and moved to Utah for the duration of six months.

While in Utah, we had many wonderful experiences. We had a fabulous ward and had many friends in it. My children were able to attend a private school based on LDS values. We were able to live near grandparents and others that we hadn’t had the privilege of previously. We really enjoyed ourselves. However, it was our hope that I would still be able to go back to Maryland to take over the CES Director position in my area.

I wish to relate a couple of very personal experiences I had during this time.

Prior to moving, I was in the habit of listening to talk radio while in my car and while working outside. I enjoyed the many topics that were discussed by the various hosts. One of these discussions was on the topic of lawn mower accidents. I remember the guest on the radio, who was a podiatrist, telling of the many series injuries he had personally treated due to young children operating lawn mowers. He stated that he would “never let anyone under the age of 13 operate a mower”.

I took this to heart and I mowed my own lawn. Since most of our furnishings in our rented home were borrowed, we had an old beat-up lawn mower. Week after week my daughter Krista, then about 11, would beg to mow the lawn. After prolonged begging, I consented. I allowed her to mow under strict supervision.

Before long, Krista became quite good at mowing and I began to give her more freedom to mow on her own. One day I remember getting her started in the back yard of the home we were renting, and I went around the front to pull weeds. I remember cutting through the house to the front yard. As I approached the front door I head a blood curdling scream. I dashed for the back yard.

It appeared that due to the age of the mower, the vibration of the engine caused the muffler to fall off. Not knowing what it was, Krista picked it up, instantly burning her hand and fingers. I remember rushing her into the house to run her hand under cold water. She was screaming hysterically. I could see that the heat had literally melted part of her skin on her fingers and that it was blistered and swollen. I recall that the skin was even broken in one area.

As I began running cold water over her hand, the Spirit told me very strongly to give her a blessing. I seemed to reply in my mind, “I will, but first I need to give her first aid”. A second time much more forcefully the Spirit said “Scott, I am teaching Krista a lesson here… not you; now , give her a blessing”. This time I obeyed! I proceeded to give her a blessing by first anointing her with oil, and then sealing the anointing with a blessing. The spirit commanded me to tell her to be made whole. At the close of the blessing, I testify that Krista was made whole. The skin was restored and she was pain free. The following day there was very little sign of the injury.

Since no one was around to witness this miracle, it was unknown to other members of our family. In Family Home Evening the following Monday, Krista and I told of the events of that day. I distinctly remember my older daughter Melissa saying afterwards “Cool stuff like that never happens to me”. Little did I know how those words would be remembered.

Early in the spring or summer of that year, Melissa and Krista were invited by their best friends from school, to accompany their family to Lake Powell where they owned a house boat. The girls’ names were Sage and Shanna Gardner. Sage was Melissa’s age and Shanna was Krista’s age.

For some reason I felt very uneasy about letting Melissa go on this trip but I kept assuring myself that it was all in my mind. However, I continued to have very disturbing feelings about letting her go. I went to the Lord about it and felt assured that I should let her go.

As the day arrived for her to leave, I took her to the place where we agreed to meet them. As I loaded her gear into the back of the Gardner’s truck, I had a sick feeling that I would lever see Melissa alive again. I continued to pray in my heart however and felt assured I should let her go. I just hugged her and told her to be careful. Sterling Gardner assured me she would be well taken care of. I let her go.

That evening, we had been invited to a party at some friends. Around 9 pm that evening I got a call on my cell phone (I don’t even remember who had called me), informing me that Melissa had been involved in a serious Jet Ski accident and needed to go to a hospital with a plastic surgeon. We had the choice of Life Flighting her to Salt Lake City, or having her driven by the Gardners to Saint George. I asked the Gardner’s which choice they would make under the circumstances? We agreed on having them drive her to Saint George.

We were told that she had had an accident with a ski rope and that she had a cut on her cheek and a pretty serious rope burn. Ann and I left immediately for Saint George. We were very worried and drove as quickly as possible. As we drove, I prayed and pondered a lot. As I did, I convinced myself that the injuries were not very serious. This was still in the early days of cellular service and phones only worked in more populated areas. I had to stop regularly to phone the hospital to see if she had arrived. As we came into Cedar City we learned that she had arrived but they couldn’t begin treating her until we gave our consent.

When we arrived at the Hospital, I can’t describe the great trepidation I felt to enter. Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw when I entered the emergency room. The injury was much worse than I had ever expected. She had a very deep rope burn completely around her face; across the back of her neck, and onto her chest. The rope had also cut deep into her left cheek.

It was all I could do to hold her hand and tell her she was going to be fine and that it wasn’t that bad. I wanted to be upbeat around her and make her feel safe. After a couple of minutes however, I excused myself to the restroom where I wept uncontrollably for at least ten minutes.

The story was told to me that she and Sage hopped on the Jet Skis shortly after arriving at the lake. It was late in the afternoon and the sun was low on the horizon. As a result, the sun reflected off the lake, and Melissa couldn’t see what was in front of her. Each on separate watercrafts, Melissa and Sage headed directly into the sun. Melissa didn’t see a boat, towing a water skier, directly in front of her. She went directly between the boat and the skier and hit the rope. The skier saw her and tried to lift the rope to allow her to slip underneath: She took a direct hit in her open mouth. The force pulled the rope out of the skier’s hands and the rope proceeded to wrap itself completely around her head. With the boat and the Jet Ski still moving, the force broke the handle off the rope but then pulled off in a whipping action that caused the frayed end to whip across her chest and cut deep burns into her face.

The plastic surgeon told us that the rope burns were third degree burns. The burns were very deep and went from the corners of her mouth, across her cheeks, directly under both ear lobes, and behind her neck. The back of her neck was raw flesh. The swelling was terrible: Her head seemed to be twice the size of normal. She looked awful.

The surgeon proceeded to sew up the cut into her cheek. It was a cut that went essentially an inch into her cheek; thus making her mouth an inch wider. The surgeon told us he didn’t have a treatment for the burns. He proceeded to tell us that there was no way of knowing how these burns would heal. We simply needed to give it time. He said it could very well heal with little scarring, or could heal with the large thick skin that is more often associated with third degree burns. We were instructed to take her to the Primary Children’s burn clinic when we got back to Salt Lake.

She was released from the Hospital that morning early. We went to my brother Jim’s Saint George house for what was the rest of the night. When we got there, I proceeded to give Melissa a Priesthood blessing. Then I went to be alone to pray. The next several hours were filled with countless pleadings and countless tears: Over and over again I asked myself why I had let her go? More importantly I wanted to know why the Lord had assured me it was okay to let her go.

Sometime over the next few hours or days, as my prayers were sent out on behalf of my beautiful little daughter, the Spirit of the Lord came over me in a very calming assurance. “Scott, I too know the pain of allowing one of my children to go into certain harm… and sending them anyway. This lesson is for you.” In a very real sense, I had a small understanding of how hard it was for Heavenly Father to send his Son to die when he knew what would happen to him.

The blessing I gave Melissa that night assured me that she would be healed without scars. To this day, Melissa has very faint lines of where this accident took place. If someone didn’t know about the accident, they would never notice the scars. Their faint remainder are a reminder to me of the scars my Savior still bears as a witness of the love of God for me.

As a result of this accident, I have become a different parent. I have learned to trust God much more. I have come to the realization that I am not in charge and that I have no control over serious events happening in my life, or the life of those I love. All I have, and all safety and protection lies in the hands of the Lord. I have learned that I need to trust him to protect me and my children. If he doesn’t, there is a reason for it—that I am certain of.

As the school year drew to an end that year, and as I continued teaching seminary, things seemed to be going extremely well. My students liked me and it appeared that those in influential places did as well. I was evaluated and interviewed by all the necessary people. When it was all said and done—I wasn’t hired by the church. I was very hurt.

Looking back on this seminary teaching experience, I know that the Lord’s hand was in the decision. I am certain it wasn’t the right thing for me. However, it was very difficult for me. Brother Iba, the CES Zone Leader that lived across the street from me was very apologetic. He gave me a big hug of thanks when we returned to Maryland.

I didn’t know how much this rejection affected me at the time, but again in hind-sight I see that I turned a little bitter for the next couple of years. I found myself suffering spiritually due to a feeling of “what’s the use”? I found myself more susceptible to temptation as a result and made some poor decisions. It seemed I was doing all the right things for all the right reasons. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t hired.

With several years between then and now, I have a real perspective of the many lessons I learned from this experience. I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without these experiences. I can honestly say now that I am grateful for the Lord having a better understanding of the “big picture”. I have a greater understanding of the gospel and of the Atonement.

Putting Off the Natural Man

Perhaps one of the most basic teachings of the gospel, or perhaps the Plan of Salvation’s most basic principle is the need for the children of God to “put off the natural man.” In Mosiah 3 we read “19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.”

The scriptures are full of metaphors of how each of us should do this thing. One of the most common phrases is that we must be “born again.” We teach that baptism is symbolic of dieing and burying the old self and coming out of the water a new person… one who has taken on the name of Christ. (In our culture when a woman marries a man, she takes upon herself his name. She is no longer known by her old name… just by that of her husband).

Since Adam and Eve partook of the fruit in the Garden of Eden and fell, it has been the duty of man to repent and to return to our Heavenly Father. In Old Testament times, the covenant people were commanded to live the law of sacrifice which involved the sacrificing of animals. In our day, we are still commanded to live the law of sacrifice but in a different way.

Christ stated in 3 Nephi 12:17 “Think not that I am come to destroy the law or the prophets. I am not come to destroy but to fulfill;” We also read in 3 Ne. 9: 20
“And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost,”

Today we are expected to sacrifice all things. We must be willing to lay all of our worldliness upon the altar. Joseph Smith taught “Let us here observe, that a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation; … it is through the medium of the sacrifice of all earthly things that men do actually know that they are doing the things that are well pleasing in the sight of God. When a man has offered in sacrifice all that he has for the truth’s sake, not even withholding his life, and believing before God that he has been called to make this sacrifice because he seeks to do his will, he does know, most assuredly, that God does and will accept his sacrifice and offering, and that he has not, nor will not seek his face in vain. Under these circumstances, then, he can obtain the faith necessary for him to lay hold on eternal life” (Lectures on Faith 6).

In my recent reading of James Ferrell’s “The Hidden Christ”, I have been awed by the Old Testament and how literally every story in it points to Christ and the Atonement. Those of you familiar with his book “The Peacegiver” know how the story of Abigail points to the Savior. Consider how Moses struck a rock with his staff and water flowed forth. How many scriptures refer to Jesus as the “Rock of our salvation” and as the source of “living water”?

I learned another important lesson from Ferrell in chapter 12 of “The Hidden Christ”. I quote “Some people think the God of the Old Testament seems harsh, citing examples of punishments under the law, (death to transgressors by stoning, for example), and the commandment for the Israelites to kill every person that lived in the promised land when they were finally crossed into the land to occupy it. However, if you think of the body of Israel not as a collection of individual, but as a representation of a single person—one who is to be a follower of Christ—all of these harsh contradictions make divine sense, and Old Testament books like Joshua and Judges suddenly become illuminating guides to repentance and sanctification. We truly do need to wipe out all the temptations around us and stop dabbling in sin.”

He continues “Because Egypt, as it were was still in the Israelites, they were not allowed to cross into the Promised Land for forty years. As a body they had to become sanctified. One might wonder why all the people had to wait for the purification of the whole before they were allowed to enter into the promised land. Why couldn’t some have entered sooner on their own—when they, themselves, were ready”?

An even more difficult question might be why Moses was commanded the following: “But of the cities of these people, which the Lord thy God doth give thee for an inheritance, thou shalt save alive nothing that breatheth: But thou shalt utterly destroy them; namely, the Hittites, and the Amorites, the Canaanites, and the Perizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites; as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee:” (Deut. 20:16,17). And “And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee; thou shalt smite them, and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor shew mercy unto them: Neither shalt thou make marriages with them; thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son.” (Deut. 7:2, 3).

If we look at the Children of Israel as representation of an individual, how much of the world are we expected to give up? “All that is ungodly within each of us truly must be put to death or we will not be able to enter into the presence of the Lord. Furthermore, in order to become holy, we really do need to overcome all the temptations around us and stop dabbling in sin. If we are content to surround ourselves with unholiness, we, too, will become unholy and will therefore remain separated form the Lord, which, in the language of the scriptures, is death—spiritual death”.

Experiences in my own life have shown that the Lord expects a lot of me. I must put off the things of the world. I must not put my trust in the arm of the flesh. I must put off vulgarity and uncleanliness. I have learned for myself that the scripture we read in D&C 121: 45 is true
“Let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughts unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distil upon thy soul as the dews from heaven.”