Forgiveness Part Two

This post is much more personal in nature and I pray that you bear with me as I express some rather private feelings and ideas. I have had a couple of experiences this week that have once again shown me how far from perfect I am. I continue to be just a man trying to do what is right while getting it wrong along the way. How grateful I am for the Atonement!

We are all imperfect. Each of us has at times in our lives done things that disappoint or offend those whom we love. This week I had an experience where I was reminded of a time that someone who looked up to me, witnessed me being less than I should have been. Although this happened nearly ten years ago, the hurt goes on. It goes on to both parties; to the person I offended as well as to me.

While driving today, and listening to our most recent General Conference on CD, I was wondering why the hurt of sins long repented of continue to cause us grief. Then came the talk by Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles on this very subject. He said “Sometimes we wonder why we remember our sins long after we have forsaken them. Why does the sadness for our mistakes at times continue following our repentance?

You will remember a tender story told by President James E. Faust. “As a small boy on the farm . . . , I remember my grandmother . . . cooking our delicious meals on a hot woodstove. When the wood box next to the stove became empty, Grandmother would silently pick up the box, go out to refill it from the pile of cedar wood outside, and bring the heavily laden box back into the house.”
President Faust’s voice then filled with emotion as he continued: “I was so insensitive . . . I sat there and let my beloved grandmother refill the kitchen wood box. I feel ashamed of myself and have regretted my [sin of] omission for all of my life. I hope someday to ask for her forgiveness.”

More than 65 years had passed. If President Faust still remembered and regretted not helping his grandmother after all those years, should we be surprised with some of the things we still remember and regret?

The scriptures do not say that we will forget our forsaken sins in mortality. Rather, they declare that the Lord will forget.”

This story came to me at an opportune time. I thank the Lord for think of me at an hour of need.

This brings me to a related subject that has been on my mind for several weeks now. I am a witness that when we ask the Lord what He wants us to work on, He lets us know! Not in an angry accusing way, but in a loving kind way. This is one of the answers the Lord gave me. It came while reading Denver Snuffer’s book ‘The Second Comforter’. It deals with judging others. Snuffer writes “Criticism of fellow Saints has almost become a cottage industry. There is a widely held attitude the Saints should be better than they are, and the attitude has led to open criticism of the Saints by the Saints… This is wrong. The Saints are just as they should be. They are human, frail weak and vulnerable. They need your example and your encouragement. They do not need your criticism and judgment piled on in the latter-days. These times are tough. No one has it easy. Saints struggle. That is as it should be. You are here to help them, not to condemn them. Imitate Him. Do something to avoid condemning His Saints. He doesn’t condemn them, so why should you? The Saints deserve your mercy.”

This paragraph caused me to do some serious pondering in my own life. I repented and stopped judging a couple of people that I thought “should have been better”. We all know the importance of avoiding “evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed”. It is widely spread in the LDS culture to believe this is referring to Church leaders. Perhaps it is, but anyone who has been through the Temple has been “anointed”. My belief is that it applies equally to them.

I conclude as I began; all of us are imperfect and I know most are really trying to do what is right. I know I am trying but I often feel like Nephi in 2nd Nephi “17 O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted."

I pray we can all be more forgiving.