Over the past 10 days or so I have been really struggling with an important personal decision in my life. It was a decision I wasn’t sure I had the ability to make due to its difficulty. I haven’t known how to handle a certain situation and I have made it a matter of earnest personal prayer. I want to write how the Lord has answered my prayer… but in a way far different than the way I expected.
For the past few weeks I have been reading “The Promised Messiah” by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. I have discovered that it is a true treasure that we have in our midst and one that I have under appreciated. I encourage all to take the time to read it.
As I have read this book, along with my reading of The Book of Mormon, I have begun to have a greater understanding of, or perhaps a greater desire for the “ministering of angels.” I have learned that we as faithful Latter-day-Saints are entitled to this divine gift, so selfish me wanted this blessing in my life. So as I went to the Lord for help on the important decision spoken of, I wanted it to come in a way that included a divine manifestation.
I have spent long hours on numerous occasions in prayer on this matter. I have wept many tears and really plead. A few nights ago I awoke at 1:00 am and poured my heart out to the Lord for over two hours. I knew He was listening… I had some distinct impressions… but no clear answer, and no divine manifestation.
Several nights later I drove up Millcreek Canyon and hiked up Rattlesnake Gulch in the dark! I found a spot to pray and spent another couple of hours pouring my heart out to the Lord. Still no answer. I hiked back to my car and read from the Book of Mormon. I prayed as I read. Still no answer. When I started my car to drive home, my car audio system began to play our latest General Conference. Right at the time I needed it, Elder Richard G. Scott spoke these words: “What can you do to enhance your capacity to be led to correct decisions in your life? What are the principles upon which spiritual communication depends? What are the potential barriers to such communication that you need to avoid?
President John Taylor wrote: “Joseph Smith, upwards of forty years ago, said to me: ‘Brother Taylor, you have received the Holy Ghost. Now follow the influence of that Spirit, and it will lead you into all truth, until by and by, it will become in you a principle of revelation.’ Then he told me never to arise in the morning without bowing before the Lord, and dedicating myself to him during that day.”
Father in Heaven knew that you would face challenges and be required to make some decisions that would be beyond your own ability to decide correctly. In His plan of happiness, He included a provision for you to receive help with such challenges and decisions during your mortal life. That assistance will come to you through the Holy Ghost as spiritual guidance. It is a power, beyond your own capability, that a loving Heavenly Father wants you to use consistently for your peace and happiness.
I am convinced that there is no simple formula or technique that would immediately allow you to master the ability to be guided by the voice of the Spirit. Our Father expects you to learn how to obtain that divine help by exercising faith in Him and His Holy Son, Jesus Christ. Were you to receive inspired guidance just for the asking, you would become weak and ever more dependent on Them. They know that essential personal growth will come as you struggle to learn how to be led by the Spirit.
What may appear initially to be a daunting task will be much easier to manage over time as you consistently strive to recognize and follow feelings prompted by the Spirit. Your confidence in the direction you receive from the Holy Ghost will also become stronger. I witness that as you gain experience and success in being guided by the Spirit, your confidence in the impressions you feel can become more certain than your dependence on what you see or hear.
Spirituality yields two fruits. The first is inspiration to know what to do. The second is power, or the capacity to do it. These two capacities come together. That’s why Nephi could say, “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded.” He knew the spiritual laws upon which inspiration and power are based. Yes, God answers prayer and gives us spiritual direction when we live obediently and exercise the required faith in Him.”
This message was directed perfectly to me. I am certain that had an angel appeared to me, he would have given me the exact same counsel. The whole thing was as if the Lord was speaking directly to me but I was particularly touched by the words “I witness that as you gain experience and success in being guided by the Spirit, your confidence in the impressions you feel can become more certain than your dependence on what you see or hear.” I learned I don’t need an angel to appear to receive the counsel I need!
Elder Scott said that spirituality yields two fruits: The first is inspiration to know what to do. The second is the power or capacity to do it. Very clearly the answer came to me of what to do. In fact I knew exactly what to do! The second part however was the more difficult part… the part that required faith: I had to do what the Lord wanted me to do and it required me to go against what I believed to be the truth. I felt like Nephi when told to kill Laban. “And it came to pass that I was constrained by the Spirit that I should kill Laban; but I said in my heart: Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him.
And the Spirit said unto me again: Behold the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands. Yea, and I also knew that he had sought to take away mine own life; yea, and he would not hearken unto the commandments of the Lord; and he also had taken away our property.
And it came to pass that the Spirit said unto me again: Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands;”
Doing what I needed to do was going to require me to swallow my pride. Like Nephi I said (with a little grumbling) I will go and do the thing which the Lord has commanded. I know it is the right thing and I know I will be blessed for it.
This experience has taught me once again that the Lord loves us and He answers our prayers. He does allow us to have difficulties in our lives to help us grow. I am grateful for my knowledge of His love for me. I am grateful for inspired leaders like Elder Scott that can follow the promptings of the spirit to help those in need. I know he wrote that talk for me and others with similar struggles.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
The Rest of the Lord
Early yesterday morning, while sitting in the Salt Lake Temple, I was thinking about Joe Massey. The thought came that I should write a blog about him and his need for our faith and prayers. Shortly after arriving at my office, I received word that Joe had passed away. My heart was broken. After pondering the situation for 24 hours or so, I have decided to continue with my prompting and write about Joe.
Joe Massey was a giant of a man. Not only was his one of the strongest men I have ever known physically, but was also one of the strongest I have ever known in terms of character, faith, and love. Joe has left a lasting impression on all who knew him.
I was always impressed at how Joe expressed love to all he knew. Joe hugged everybody; it was just his way and everyone expected it. At family gatherings he went around the room giving each person a hug. I always appreciated that about him.
Joe was a devoted husband and father. It was evident that he loved his kids and that they in turn loved him too. They had fun as a family and always seemed happy. I know this love will continue.
Early this morning as I was reading in “The Promised Messiah”, I came across a section titled “Enter into the Rest of the Lord”. I would like to quote form that section since it seems so appropriate. Elder McConkie writes “One of the sweet and gracious doctrines of the gospel, a doctrine that brings comfort and serenity to the saints, is that those who are true and faithful in all things enter into the rest of the Lord their God.
Mortality is the state in which men are tried and tested; in which they are subject to temptation, disease, sorrow, and death; in which there is violent opposition to every true principle; in which the generality of mankind is wafted hither and yon by every wind of doctrine; in which Satan has great hold upon the hearts of most of mankind. It is not a state of peace and rest; in it there is work and turmoil and dissension. It is a probationary estate where choices must be made; where all men, the saints included, are being tried and tested, to see if they will choose liberty and eternal life through the atonement of Christ the Lord, or whether they will walk in subjection to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal God and became the devil to rise no more.
Peace and rest, in the full and true sense, come only through the gospel and are reserved for those who place themselves in harmony with those Holy Beings who are the embodiment of these godly attributes.
What does it mean to enter into the rest of the Lord? To this question there is a three-pronged answer: one aspect deals with the rest of the Lord here and now in mortality; the next is concerned with a more perfected rest that comes to those who, departing this sphere, find themselves in the paradise of God; and the final one applies to the saved saints who have risen in immortal glory ever to be with their Lord.
Mormon had some counsel for the saints, for those who believe the gospel and are seeking to live its laws. He addressed them in this way: "I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven." (Moro. 7:3.) To enter into the rest of the Lord in this life is to gain a sure knowledge of the truth and divinity of the Lord's work on earth. It is to have the testimony of Jesus and to know by personal revelation that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the kingdom of God on earth. It is to have such fixity of purpose that the calls, Lo, here is Christ, and Lo, there, seem like idle chatter. Those who have entered into the rest of the Lord here and now are not driven about by every wind of doctrine. They are not trying to find the truth. The Holy Spirit of God has already manifest to their souls where the truth is. They have charted a course leading to that eternal rest which is eternal life. They have received that peace which passeth all understanding and is known and felt only by the power of the Holy Ghost.
As to the rest of the Lord enjoyed by faithful saints when they depart this life, Alma says: "The spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." (Alma 40:12.)
As to that rest which is enjoyed by those who dwell in immortal glory, Amulek says: "God did call on men, in the name of his Son, (this being the plan of redemption which was laid) saying: If ye will repent, and harden not your hearts, then will I have mercy upon you, through mine Only Begotten Son; Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not his heart, he shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son, unto a remission of his sins; and these shall enter into my rest." (Alma 12:33-35.)
O that all men might come unto Christ and gain that rest and peace, both now and forever, that comes from him and him only!”
As I understand it, Elder McConkie speaks of three types of “Rest of the Lord”: They are this life, the spirit world, and that rest which is enjoyed by those who dwell in immortal glory. Joe is now in paradise, where he will rest from troubles and cares. We however must not forget that the first “rest” that is spoken of occurs in this life!
The Book of Mormon teaches us how the rest of the Lord comes to us in this life. "I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven." (Moro. 7:3.)
It is my prayer at this time, that all of us that are deeply saddened by the death of this wonderful man Joe Massey, that we will turn to that God that made us, and have faith in his Son, and to gain that sure knowledge of our Father’s divine plan.
Joe…we will miss you. We will watch after your little flock.
Joe Massey was a giant of a man. Not only was his one of the strongest men I have ever known physically, but was also one of the strongest I have ever known in terms of character, faith, and love. Joe has left a lasting impression on all who knew him.
I was always impressed at how Joe expressed love to all he knew. Joe hugged everybody; it was just his way and everyone expected it. At family gatherings he went around the room giving each person a hug. I always appreciated that about him.
Joe was a devoted husband and father. It was evident that he loved his kids and that they in turn loved him too. They had fun as a family and always seemed happy. I know this love will continue.
Early this morning as I was reading in “The Promised Messiah”, I came across a section titled “Enter into the Rest of the Lord”. I would like to quote form that section since it seems so appropriate. Elder McConkie writes “One of the sweet and gracious doctrines of the gospel, a doctrine that brings comfort and serenity to the saints, is that those who are true and faithful in all things enter into the rest of the Lord their God.
Mortality is the state in which men are tried and tested; in which they are subject to temptation, disease, sorrow, and death; in which there is violent opposition to every true principle; in which the generality of mankind is wafted hither and yon by every wind of doctrine; in which Satan has great hold upon the hearts of most of mankind. It is not a state of peace and rest; in it there is work and turmoil and dissension. It is a probationary estate where choices must be made; where all men, the saints included, are being tried and tested, to see if they will choose liberty and eternal life through the atonement of Christ the Lord, or whether they will walk in subjection to that angel who fell from before the presence of the Eternal God and became the devil to rise no more.
Peace and rest, in the full and true sense, come only through the gospel and are reserved for those who place themselves in harmony with those Holy Beings who are the embodiment of these godly attributes.
What does it mean to enter into the rest of the Lord? To this question there is a three-pronged answer: one aspect deals with the rest of the Lord here and now in mortality; the next is concerned with a more perfected rest that comes to those who, departing this sphere, find themselves in the paradise of God; and the final one applies to the saved saints who have risen in immortal glory ever to be with their Lord.
Mormon had some counsel for the saints, for those who believe the gospel and are seeking to live its laws. He addressed them in this way: "I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven." (Moro. 7:3.) To enter into the rest of the Lord in this life is to gain a sure knowledge of the truth and divinity of the Lord's work on earth. It is to have the testimony of Jesus and to know by personal revelation that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the kingdom of God on earth. It is to have such fixity of purpose that the calls, Lo, here is Christ, and Lo, there, seem like idle chatter. Those who have entered into the rest of the Lord here and now are not driven about by every wind of doctrine. They are not trying to find the truth. The Holy Spirit of God has already manifest to their souls where the truth is. They have charted a course leading to that eternal rest which is eternal life. They have received that peace which passeth all understanding and is known and felt only by the power of the Holy Ghost.
As to the rest of the Lord enjoyed by faithful saints when they depart this life, Alma says: "The spirits of those who are righteous are received into a state of happiness, which is called paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace, where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care, and sorrow." (Alma 40:12.)
As to that rest which is enjoyed by those who dwell in immortal glory, Amulek says: "God did call on men, in the name of his Son, (this being the plan of redemption which was laid) saying: If ye will repent, and harden not your hearts, then will I have mercy upon you, through mine Only Begotten Son; Therefore, whosoever repenteth, and hardeneth not his heart, he shall have claim on mercy through mine Only Begotten Son, unto a remission of his sins; and these shall enter into my rest." (Alma 12:33-35.)
O that all men might come unto Christ and gain that rest and peace, both now and forever, that comes from him and him only!”
As I understand it, Elder McConkie speaks of three types of “Rest of the Lord”: They are this life, the spirit world, and that rest which is enjoyed by those who dwell in immortal glory. Joe is now in paradise, where he will rest from troubles and cares. We however must not forget that the first “rest” that is spoken of occurs in this life!
The Book of Mormon teaches us how the rest of the Lord comes to us in this life. "I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven." (Moro. 7:3.)
It is my prayer at this time, that all of us that are deeply saddened by the death of this wonderful man Joe Massey, that we will turn to that God that made us, and have faith in his Son, and to gain that sure knowledge of our Father’s divine plan.
Joe…we will miss you. We will watch after your little flock.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
"O Wretched Man That I Am"
A couple of weeks ago I started reading the Book of Mormon again. I decided this time to keep a journal as I read and to write down thoughts and impressions that come to me as I am reading. I am amazed at the things I have written down and am now better able to remember because I took the time to write them down. My reading of the Book of Mormon will forever be changed since reading “The Second Comforter” by Denver Snuffer. I now see much more clearly the number of times that the Lord personally appears and speaks to those who were writers of the Book of Mormon. I want to follow the example of these great leaders.
Today I was deeply touched by 2 Nephi Chapter 4. This is the chapter where Nephi writes about his fathers final words to his family before he dies. Then Nephi goes on to give one of the greatest sermons of all time… one that I feel resonates with me and my life. I will quote Nephi, but insert my thoughts as appropriate.
Nephi writes “16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.”
I know that I shouldn’t “delight” in other people’s sorrows but I have to admit that this group of scriptures gives me great comfort. I like to know that Nephi, one of the greatest prophets of all time, who saw God and angels, continued to struggle with temptation! I honestly strive to keep the commandments but I too continue to be saddened by my weakness in keeping the commandments.
Nephi continues “19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. “
I too know that God has been my support and has led me through mine afflictions. Even beyond my ability to comprehend, God has been there for me to support me in times of great sorrow. I have felt of His love… to the consuming of my flesh. In a time when I was so sad that I didn’t think I could go on, the Lord was there to lift me and to comfort me. He has even confounded my enemies… my enemy Satan… a story I will tell on a future post.
Nephi continues “23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?”
This may be my favorite part! Nephi has had visions… perhaps dreams because he says “in the night-time”. He has had the visitation of angels! And most importantly he has seen the Savior! (See 1 Nephi 11:1-11 to see the details of this vision. Pay particular attention to verse 11). He was carried away unto an “exceedingly high mountain” where he saw and heard things he could not write! Does this have something to do with the Temple Endowments of today?
Nephi continues “27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
I want to tell of a very sacred personal experience here. This is a story that I have never told in public before. In about 1998 Ann and I took a tour with BYU Travel Study to the Holy Land. For those of you who haven’t done this yet I highly recommend it: It is a life changing experience! While in the city of Jerusalem we had the opportunity of going to the Garden Tomb a couple of times. This experience alone is wonderful enough, but we were there at Easter… an even more sacred time for this specific spot. I am not sure that I have ever felt the Spirit stronger than I did on Easter morning in this sacred place. On most days visitors are allowed into the tomb… but on Easter the tomb is closed with a sign on the door stating “He is not here, for He is risen”.
I found a spot alone in the beautiful gardens that surround the tomb and poured my thanks out to God for my many blessings. But I also had a nagging burden on my mind. Some months before I had done something that I considered a sin. I don’t want to imply I had done anything grievous, but I had done something I was ashamed of. I felt my repentance would not be complete until I talked to my bishop about it. The problem was that my bishop was one of my best friends… I was too embarrassed to go to him. (How many has this kept from truly repenting?) As I sat there, and pled with the Lord to forgive me… an almost audible voice came to me and said “I bled from every pore, was humiliated and spit upon, whipped and beaten, nailed to a cross until I died for you… and you are embarrassed!” I felt I was cut to the core by this voice: I was so ashamed. Needless to say I went to my bishop and received forgiveness.
Nephi continues “28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen”
I bear my personal and solemn witness to you that God lives and that His Son Jesus Christ is the Redeemer of the world. I have a personal witness that true repentance, and continual striving to keep the commandments is the only place we find true joy and happiness.
Today I was deeply touched by 2 Nephi Chapter 4. This is the chapter where Nephi writes about his fathers final words to his family before he dies. Then Nephi goes on to give one of the greatest sermons of all time… one that I feel resonates with me and my life. I will quote Nephi, but insert my thoughts as appropriate.
Nephi writes “16 Behold, my soul delighteth in the things of the Lord; and my heart pondereth continually upon the things which I have seen and heard.
17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great goodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O wretched man that I am! Yea, my heart sorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.
18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily beset me.”
I know that I shouldn’t “delight” in other people’s sorrows but I have to admit that this group of scriptures gives me great comfort. I like to know that Nephi, one of the greatest prophets of all time, who saw God and angels, continued to struggle with temptation! I honestly strive to keep the commandments but I too continue to be saddened by my weakness in keeping the commandments.
Nephi continues “19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
21 He hath filled me with his love, even unto the consuming of my flesh.
22 He hath confounded mine enemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me. “
I too know that God has been my support and has led me through mine afflictions. Even beyond my ability to comprehend, God has been there for me to support me in times of great sorrow. I have felt of His love… to the consuming of my flesh. In a time when I was so sad that I didn’t think I could go on, the Lord was there to lift me and to comfort me. He has even confounded my enemies… my enemy Satan… a story I will tell on a future post.
Nephi continues “23 Behold, he hath heard my cry by day, and he hath given me knowledge by visions in the night-time.
24 And by day have I waxed bold in mighty prayer before him; yea, my voice have I sent up on high; and angels came down and ministered unto me.
25 And upon the wings of his Spirit hath my body been carried away upon exceedingly high mountains. And mine eyes have beheld great things, yea, even too great for man; therefore I was bidden that I should not write them.
26 O then, if I have seen so great things, if the Lord in his condescension unto the children of men hath visited men in so much mercy, why should my heart weep and my soul linger in the valley of sorrow, and my flesh waste away, and my strength slacken, because of mine afflictions?”
This may be my favorite part! Nephi has had visions… perhaps dreams because he says “in the night-time”. He has had the visitation of angels! And most importantly he has seen the Savior! (See 1 Nephi 11:1-11 to see the details of this vision. Pay particular attention to verse 11). He was carried away unto an “exceedingly high mountain” where he saw and heard things he could not write! Does this have something to do with the Temple Endowments of today?
Nephi continues “27 And why should I yield to sin, because of my flesh? Yea, why should I give way to temptations, that the evil one have place in my heart to destroy my peace and afflict my soul? Why am I angry because of mine enemy?
I want to tell of a very sacred personal experience here. This is a story that I have never told in public before. In about 1998 Ann and I took a tour with BYU Travel Study to the Holy Land. For those of you who haven’t done this yet I highly recommend it: It is a life changing experience! While in the city of Jerusalem we had the opportunity of going to the Garden Tomb a couple of times. This experience alone is wonderful enough, but we were there at Easter… an even more sacred time for this specific spot. I am not sure that I have ever felt the Spirit stronger than I did on Easter morning in this sacred place. On most days visitors are allowed into the tomb… but on Easter the tomb is closed with a sign on the door stating “He is not here, for He is risen”.
I found a spot alone in the beautiful gardens that surround the tomb and poured my thanks out to God for my many blessings. But I also had a nagging burden on my mind. Some months before I had done something that I considered a sin. I don’t want to imply I had done anything grievous, but I had done something I was ashamed of. I felt my repentance would not be complete until I talked to my bishop about it. The problem was that my bishop was one of my best friends… I was too embarrassed to go to him. (How many has this kept from truly repenting?) As I sat there, and pled with the Lord to forgive me… an almost audible voice came to me and said “I bled from every pore, was humiliated and spit upon, whipped and beaten, nailed to a cross until I died for you… and you are embarrassed!” I felt I was cut to the core by this voice: I was so ashamed. Needless to say I went to my bishop and received forgiveness.
Nephi continues “28 Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29 Do not anger again because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30 Rejoice, O my heart, and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31 O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32 May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33 O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Wilt thou make my path straight before me! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.
34 O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35 Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; therefore I will lift up my voice unto thee; yea, I will cry unto thee, my God, the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine everlasting God. Amen”
I bear my personal and solemn witness to you that God lives and that His Son Jesus Christ is the Redeemer of the world. I have a personal witness that true repentance, and continual striving to keep the commandments is the only place we find true joy and happiness.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Man-Up Bro!
I don’t know if I have mentioned before that I am the Young Men’s President in my ward. This gives me a great opportunity to spend a lot of time with boys that range in age from 12 to 18. It is really a great blessing for me.
Last summer I spent a week with the 16-18 year olds hiking the Sawtooth Mountains of Idaho. It was an amazing experience and we had a lot of fun. There were parts of the week that were quite challenging. At one particularly difficult point, where a couple of the boys were complaining, one of the older boys; a star of the high school football team, said “Man-up Bro”, meaning stop being a baby and just do it!
Although this is something we laughed about at the time, it is something that I have thought about many times since then. I have often asked myself how this applies to my life; or in other words, how do I need to “Man-up?”
Last week I was out of town on business. I had a crew of 7 with me, and the production company I was working for had a crew of 3. Of this staff of 10 people, 6 of us are endowed Latter-day-Saints. Of these 6, only 2 are currently active. The other 4, all returned missionaries, were drinking and partying with the non-members we were with.
Now I don’t mean to “cast stones” at anyone. I certainly have my own temptations and am far from doing all I should be doing, but I ask myself how does one fall so far from doing the right thing? When does one “Man-up and do the right thing?
A couple of weeks ago a few of my staff and I were sitting around the conference table in my office. The name of a mutual acquaintance came up. Now, I know that this person is a Latter-day-Saint. Someone in the group said “that guy gives me the creeps”, I chimed in “something about him is slimy.” This type of commenting went around the room until one employee said “when I judged him, I said the same thing.” He said this to be funny, and we all laughed, but it also cut me to the core. I realized that I indeed was judging this man. I then thought of the commandment to avoid “evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed.” We often interpret this phrase to mean sustaining church leaders. However, are not all endowed Latter-day-Saints anointed? When will I “Man-up” and stop participating in these types of conversations?
Our world today is filled with filth. There are so many ways for us to be immoral that they are too many to number. Unfortunately too many, even Latter-day-Saints, fall short of expectations. In our most recent General Conference, Elder Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve spoke on this subject.
Elder Cook told a story of when he was a boy he often visited his grandfather’s ranch. The ranch house got it’s water from a nearby spring. The spring was important to his grandfather and he always kept it clean and took extra care to protect it. When his grandfather was in his nineties, and no longer lived on the farm, Elder Cook took him back for a visit. Much to his grandfather’s disappointment, the fence surrounding the spring had fallen in to disrepair and cows had ruined the spring. The grandfather was very upset at this finding. Elder Cook said “To him, it was a violation of a trust he had observed all his working life. He felt somehow he had not protected that life-sustaining spring which had meant so much to him.”
Elder Cook went on to say “As servants of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is our sacred responsibility to teach His standard of morality, which is the same for all of His children. When our thoughts or our actions are impure, we violate His standard. The Lord has said, “I . . . cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” Some attempt to rationalize away their conduct.
In a poem by John Holmes titled “Talk,” an old, deaf New England shipbuilder teaches a young man about rationalization. In describing one of the lessons he learned, the youth explains, “I wouldn’t have known that however you build it, the ship must sail; you can’t explain to the ocean.”
It has been suggested that what happens in a certain city stays in a certain city. I like the sign posted in Sevier County, Utah, which states, “What happens in Sevier County . . . you can share with your friends!!!” When we realize that we are accountable to God, we see how foolish rationalizations can be. Those who rationalize remind us of little children who cover their eyes, convinced that if they can’t see us, we can’t see them. I would suggest that if we think about giving an accounting of our actions to the Savior, our rationalizations will be seen in their true light.
We are aware that there are those who have already engaged in conduct inconsistent with this sacred standard of morality. Please understand that through the Savior’s Atonement, all can repent and return, like the spring of water, to a clean and pure state. It is difficult to repent; it requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. But when the steps to repentance are righteously followed, the words spoken by the prophet Alma to his son Corianton, who had been involved in moral transgressions, are applicable: “And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.” The Savior has said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”
It is time for each of us to “Man-up” and to take responsibility for our actions. For most of us this means to recognize that we have made mistakes that we need to repent of. We need to recognize that we need the Savior and His atonement. Then we need to take a step toward change. From my own experience I have learned that if we begin this way, the Lord will step in and help us along the way. I know that He loves us and will do all he can to help us succeed. May we all be willing to accept help from Him!
Last summer I spent a week with the 16-18 year olds hiking the Sawtooth Mountains of Idaho. It was an amazing experience and we had a lot of fun. There were parts of the week that were quite challenging. At one particularly difficult point, where a couple of the boys were complaining, one of the older boys; a star of the high school football team, said “Man-up Bro”, meaning stop being a baby and just do it!
Although this is something we laughed about at the time, it is something that I have thought about many times since then. I have often asked myself how this applies to my life; or in other words, how do I need to “Man-up?”
Last week I was out of town on business. I had a crew of 7 with me, and the production company I was working for had a crew of 3. Of this staff of 10 people, 6 of us are endowed Latter-day-Saints. Of these 6, only 2 are currently active. The other 4, all returned missionaries, were drinking and partying with the non-members we were with.
Now I don’t mean to “cast stones” at anyone. I certainly have my own temptations and am far from doing all I should be doing, but I ask myself how does one fall so far from doing the right thing? When does one “Man-up and do the right thing?
A couple of weeks ago a few of my staff and I were sitting around the conference table in my office. The name of a mutual acquaintance came up. Now, I know that this person is a Latter-day-Saint. Someone in the group said “that guy gives me the creeps”, I chimed in “something about him is slimy.” This type of commenting went around the room until one employee said “when I judged him, I said the same thing.” He said this to be funny, and we all laughed, but it also cut me to the core. I realized that I indeed was judging this man. I then thought of the commandment to avoid “evil speaking of the Lord’s anointed.” We often interpret this phrase to mean sustaining church leaders. However, are not all endowed Latter-day-Saints anointed? When will I “Man-up” and stop participating in these types of conversations?
Our world today is filled with filth. There are so many ways for us to be immoral that they are too many to number. Unfortunately too many, even Latter-day-Saints, fall short of expectations. In our most recent General Conference, Elder Cook of the Quorum of the Twelve spoke on this subject.
Elder Cook told a story of when he was a boy he often visited his grandfather’s ranch. The ranch house got it’s water from a nearby spring. The spring was important to his grandfather and he always kept it clean and took extra care to protect it. When his grandfather was in his nineties, and no longer lived on the farm, Elder Cook took him back for a visit. Much to his grandfather’s disappointment, the fence surrounding the spring had fallen in to disrepair and cows had ruined the spring. The grandfather was very upset at this finding. Elder Cook said “To him, it was a violation of a trust he had observed all his working life. He felt somehow he had not protected that life-sustaining spring which had meant so much to him.”
Elder Cook went on to say “As servants of the Lord Jesus Christ, it is our sacred responsibility to teach His standard of morality, which is the same for all of His children. When our thoughts or our actions are impure, we violate His standard. The Lord has said, “I . . . cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance.” Some attempt to rationalize away their conduct.
In a poem by John Holmes titled “Talk,” an old, deaf New England shipbuilder teaches a young man about rationalization. In describing one of the lessons he learned, the youth explains, “I wouldn’t have known that however you build it, the ship must sail; you can’t explain to the ocean.”
It has been suggested that what happens in a certain city stays in a certain city. I like the sign posted in Sevier County, Utah, which states, “What happens in Sevier County . . . you can share with your friends!!!” When we realize that we are accountable to God, we see how foolish rationalizations can be. Those who rationalize remind us of little children who cover their eyes, convinced that if they can’t see us, we can’t see them. I would suggest that if we think about giving an accounting of our actions to the Savior, our rationalizations will be seen in their true light.
We are aware that there are those who have already engaged in conduct inconsistent with this sacred standard of morality. Please understand that through the Savior’s Atonement, all can repent and return, like the spring of water, to a clean and pure state. It is difficult to repent; it requires a broken heart and a contrite spirit. But when the steps to repentance are righteously followed, the words spoken by the prophet Alma to his son Corianton, who had been involved in moral transgressions, are applicable: “And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things trouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.” The Savior has said, “Behold, he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more.”
It is time for each of us to “Man-up” and to take responsibility for our actions. For most of us this means to recognize that we have made mistakes that we need to repent of. We need to recognize that we need the Savior and His atonement. Then we need to take a step toward change. From my own experience I have learned that if we begin this way, the Lord will step in and help us along the way. I know that He loves us and will do all he can to help us succeed. May we all be willing to accept help from Him!
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Our Perfect Older Brother
I am in Scottsdale, Arizona this week for work. I have been putting in a lot of hours so I haven’t had much time to write a blog post. I was able to get away early yesterday morning and attended a 5:30 am temple session at the Mesa Temple. Each time I attend an early morning session at any temple I am awed by the number of people that are dedicated to making temple attendance work in their busy lives. It is wonderful to associate with like minded people. I have a few hours to myself tonight so would like to share some thoughts about what I have been reading.
Tonight’s post is definitely just my opinion or simply some thoughts I have been having. I fully expect others to disagree with me on this one or to have a differing point of view. I welcome your comments and perhaps we can learn together.
I made a goal at the beginning of the year to read the entire “Messiah” series by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. I started with “The Promised Messiah” and am about half way through this volume that tops out at 635 pages. I have learned many wonderful things from this book but I would like to address one topic in particular.
In Chapter 10 of Elder McConkie’s book, he writes “Our Lord, who is the Firstborn spirit child of the Eternal Elohim, is himself also the Eternal One.” The part of this sentence that struck me was that Christ is not only the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, but also the firstborn spirit child of the Father. Now this is nothing new, but I guess it is the first time I have seen it written by someone with authority. I know it is a widely believed concept in the church. It is likely scriptural as well but I don’t know the verse.
Where my thoughts went as I pondered this topic was in the following direction: What makes Jesus more special than us? Now I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way. I have a testimony of his divinity and of His mission and calling. I mean this in the most respectful way possible. What made Christ perfect and obedient when we come from the same “source” as Him? Why is He strong and we are weak? Why is He perfect and we are full of sin? What is it about Him being the oldest? I have a theory! Let’s take a look.
We know from modern revelation that Michael, who helped create the earth, became Adam, out first father. I have heard many times in the church as well, that we too were there during the creation of the earth. Many times in the scriptures we know we can place ourselves in the stories and know they apply to us as well. I believe that we too, along with Adam were a significant part of the creation.
In Abr. 3 we read the following: 22 “Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;”
Who do these “noble and great ones” include? Is this limited to just a few “Prophets and Apostles”, or were we, as endowed faithful followers among them as well?
Before I write the following I wish to clarify here that I by no means wish to bring Christ down to our level and make us equals in any way. I do however hope to lift us to a higher level: closer to His.
In Ether 12 we read “27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
This is one of the most misquoted scriptures in the church. Most people read it and believe that God shows us our “weaknesses”. This is not what it says… He shows us our weakness! The verse then goes on to say I give men “weakness” to make them humble. Does he give us weakness because in reality we are strong? If he doesn’t make us weak would we not be able to learn to rely on Him? Have we taken a giant step down in this life in order to make our mortal probation more meaningful and to become more like God knowing good from evil?” Are we more ready to receive “crowns of glory” than we give ourselves credit for?
In the Pre-existence were we part of the noble and great ones, who helped create the earth, and were valiant followers of the Fathers plan? Is this why we were so willing to support the great Jehovah being our redeemer and rejecting Lucifer’s plan?
Is Jesus, our older spirit brother, greater than we are because He was willing to step forward in the beginning, and to be our Redeemer? Is this one of the things that makes Him greater than us? Did this willingness raise Him to perfection in the premortal world?
Christ is not only perfect spiritually speaking. We know that he is the only perfect mortal being as well. Is the fact that He is the only mortal being to have our Heavenly Father as the father of his body and spirit what makes him perfect? If he had had an earthly father and an earthly mother, would he have sinned as we do, and thus be unable to be the Savior?
My theory is that we are much closer to the Savior than we give ourselves credit for. We were great beings in the premortal world. We were leaders there and helped create the earth. Where we fall short in being like the Savior is the fact that He stepped forward and was willing to take on the sins of all the world. His mortal body that has God’s “DNA” made it possible for him to live a perfect life as well. His strength to withstand evil and temptation was a combination of His perfect spirit and his perfect body: His Mother made him mortal so he could understand our “weakness” but his Father made him divine.
I don’t want to diminish the importance or the perfection of the Savior in any way. I am simply hoping that we can look at ourselves as children of God. I want us to see ourselves in true light… as potential Kings and Queens. I believe that if we know who we are, we will strive harder to live up to our full potential. We must all be better at repenting of our sins and keeping the commandments.
As I mentioned earlier, these views written in this post are simply thoughts I have had. I don’t mean to imply they are true or doctrine in any way. I encourage contrasting points of view that can help teach me the truth. I can tell you that I have a firm testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and that he died for our sins. And that only through him can we return to live with the Father. He is our Perfect Example.
Tonight’s post is definitely just my opinion or simply some thoughts I have been having. I fully expect others to disagree with me on this one or to have a differing point of view. I welcome your comments and perhaps we can learn together.
I made a goal at the beginning of the year to read the entire “Messiah” series by Elder Bruce R. McConkie. I started with “The Promised Messiah” and am about half way through this volume that tops out at 635 pages. I have learned many wonderful things from this book but I would like to address one topic in particular.
In Chapter 10 of Elder McConkie’s book, he writes “Our Lord, who is the Firstborn spirit child of the Eternal Elohim, is himself also the Eternal One.” The part of this sentence that struck me was that Christ is not only the Only Begotten of the Father in the flesh, but also the firstborn spirit child of the Father. Now this is nothing new, but I guess it is the first time I have seen it written by someone with authority. I know it is a widely believed concept in the church. It is likely scriptural as well but I don’t know the verse.
Where my thoughts went as I pondered this topic was in the following direction: What makes Jesus more special than us? Now I don’t mean this in any disrespectful way. I have a testimony of his divinity and of His mission and calling. I mean this in the most respectful way possible. What made Christ perfect and obedient when we come from the same “source” as Him? Why is He strong and we are weak? Why is He perfect and we are full of sin? What is it about Him being the oldest? I have a theory! Let’s take a look.
We know from modern revelation that Michael, who helped create the earth, became Adam, out first father. I have heard many times in the church as well, that we too were there during the creation of the earth. Many times in the scriptures we know we can place ourselves in the stories and know they apply to us as well. I believe that we too, along with Adam were a significant part of the creation.
In Abr. 3 we read the following: 22 “Now the Lord had shown unto me, Abraham, the intelligences that were organized before the world was; and among all these there were many of the noble and great ones;”
Who do these “noble and great ones” include? Is this limited to just a few “Prophets and Apostles”, or were we, as endowed faithful followers among them as well?
Before I write the following I wish to clarify here that I by no means wish to bring Christ down to our level and make us equals in any way. I do however hope to lift us to a higher level: closer to His.
In Ether 12 we read “27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”
This is one of the most misquoted scriptures in the church. Most people read it and believe that God shows us our “weaknesses”. This is not what it says… He shows us our weakness! The verse then goes on to say I give men “weakness” to make them humble. Does he give us weakness because in reality we are strong? If he doesn’t make us weak would we not be able to learn to rely on Him? Have we taken a giant step down in this life in order to make our mortal probation more meaningful and to become more like God knowing good from evil?” Are we more ready to receive “crowns of glory” than we give ourselves credit for?
In the Pre-existence were we part of the noble and great ones, who helped create the earth, and were valiant followers of the Fathers plan? Is this why we were so willing to support the great Jehovah being our redeemer and rejecting Lucifer’s plan?
Is Jesus, our older spirit brother, greater than we are because He was willing to step forward in the beginning, and to be our Redeemer? Is this one of the things that makes Him greater than us? Did this willingness raise Him to perfection in the premortal world?
Christ is not only perfect spiritually speaking. We know that he is the only perfect mortal being as well. Is the fact that He is the only mortal being to have our Heavenly Father as the father of his body and spirit what makes him perfect? If he had had an earthly father and an earthly mother, would he have sinned as we do, and thus be unable to be the Savior?
My theory is that we are much closer to the Savior than we give ourselves credit for. We were great beings in the premortal world. We were leaders there and helped create the earth. Where we fall short in being like the Savior is the fact that He stepped forward and was willing to take on the sins of all the world. His mortal body that has God’s “DNA” made it possible for him to live a perfect life as well. His strength to withstand evil and temptation was a combination of His perfect spirit and his perfect body: His Mother made him mortal so he could understand our “weakness” but his Father made him divine.
I don’t want to diminish the importance or the perfection of the Savior in any way. I am simply hoping that we can look at ourselves as children of God. I want us to see ourselves in true light… as potential Kings and Queens. I believe that if we know who we are, we will strive harder to live up to our full potential. We must all be better at repenting of our sins and keeping the commandments.
As I mentioned earlier, these views written in this post are simply thoughts I have had. I don’t mean to imply they are true or doctrine in any way. I encourage contrasting points of view that can help teach me the truth. I can tell you that I have a firm testimony of the Savior Jesus Christ. I know that he lives and that he died for our sins. And that only through him can we return to live with the Father. He is our Perfect Example.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Our Perfect Example
Last week I had the opportunity of attending the Timpanogos Temple with Ann, a couple of friends, and Denver Snuffer. It was a really wonderful morning and I have never quite felt the spirit that way in the temple before. We attended a session and then had some time to just sit and talk in the Celestial room. What I liked about that morning was being in a place where the spirit of the Lord was abundantly present, with like minded people that I know are really trying to follow the Savior and His teachings.
Simply by coincidence, that day was the one year anniversary of my beginning the book by Denver Snuffer called “The Second Comforter: Conversing with the Lord through the Veil.” My reading of this book changed the course of my life forever, and was instrumental in making 2009 one of the greatest years of spiritual growth in my life.
I learned many important lessons last year, but the two greatest I would have to say are that the Book of Mormon truly contains the fullness of the gospel: I have come to believe that the Bible was written and preserved in order to prepare people for the Book of Mormon. And that regular temple attendance is a method for learning about the Savior and the great plan of our Heavenly Father that can’t be matched.
Above all, last year taught me that I need to be a better person. I learned that I need to be less selfish. I learned that I need to be kinder. I learned that I need to be more faithful in keeping the commandments. I learned that I need to follow the Savior more fully.
While contemplating the things I need to do to be a better person, I listened once again to President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from last general conference. He titled his talk “Our Perfect Example.” His talk of course was about following the Savior. I would like to share some of my thoughts about this talk.
Elder Eyring starts out his talk by reminding us that we all will one day meet the Savior. Whether in this life, or in the world to come I don’t know but I look forward to this day with great hope and anticipation. He then quotes from Moroni in the Book of Mormon.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”
Elder Eyring then goes on and tells us that a Primary Song teaches us what we must do to prepare ourselves for this great occasion:
I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”
It seems simple, doesn’t it?… love one another as Jesus did. Show kindness in all we do. Heed the still small voice as it guides us. This is how we prepare to see the Savior.
President Eyring goes on to write: “Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along the way towards becoming like Him, our perfect example. Our way of life, hour by hour, must be filled with the love of God and love for others. There is no surprise in that, since the Lord proclaimed those as the first and great commandments. It is love of God that will lead us to keep His commandments. And love of others is at the heart of our capacity to obey Him.
Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.
That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow. A man and a woman are to make sacred covenants that they will put the welfare and happiness of the other at the center of their lives. Children are to be born into a family where the parents hold the needs of children equal to their own in importance. And children are to love parents and each other.”
It is interesting to note that he says that our greatest joys and our greatest sorrows come in our family relationships; Joy from selflessness… and sorrow from selfishness.
I for one have learned that I have been far too selfish in my family relationships. I have been far too selfish in my relationship with my wife Ann. I have seen the joy that comes from forgetting about my own needs and putting Ann’s first. I certainly haven’t perfected it yet, but I am working on it.
He goes on to counsel husbands and wives “Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.” Imagine the good that can come from following this counsel!
He then goes on to counsel the parents of wandering children (aren’t we all wandering children in one way or another?) “The story of the prodigal son gives us all hope. The prodigal remembered home, as will your children. They will feel your love drawing them back to you. Elder Orson F. Whitney, in a general conference of 1929, gave a remarkable promise, which I know is true, to the faithful parents who honor the temple sealing to their children: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold.”
Then he goes on to say: “Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” You can pray for your children, love them, and reach out to them with confidence that Jesus reaches for them with you. When you keep trying, you are doing what Jesus does.”
Sometimes it seems overwhelming that we need to try harder to be more like the Savior. Perhaps we don’t see the progress that we are making. Elder Eyring points out a couple of ways: “It will help to remember how you have felt, at times, like a little child, even in the midst of cares and trials. You have felt the peace of a pure little child at times when you have tried to be like Jesus. You have felt it in your family when you asked the pardon of your spouse or forgave a child for some mistake or disobedience. These moments will come more often as you try to do the things you know Jesus would do. Because of His Atonement for you, your childlike obedience will bring a feeling of love of the Savior for you and your love for Him. That is one of the gifts that is promised to His faithful disciples. And this gift can come not only to you alone but also to the loving members of your family. The promise was given in 3 Nephi: “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”
I know that as we strive to keep the commandments and to follow the Savior, our perfect example, that our efforts will be blessed by the power of the Atonement and that we will make progress in our quest to return to Him.
Simply by coincidence, that day was the one year anniversary of my beginning the book by Denver Snuffer called “The Second Comforter: Conversing with the Lord through the Veil.” My reading of this book changed the course of my life forever, and was instrumental in making 2009 one of the greatest years of spiritual growth in my life.
I learned many important lessons last year, but the two greatest I would have to say are that the Book of Mormon truly contains the fullness of the gospel: I have come to believe that the Bible was written and preserved in order to prepare people for the Book of Mormon. And that regular temple attendance is a method for learning about the Savior and the great plan of our Heavenly Father that can’t be matched.
Above all, last year taught me that I need to be a better person. I learned that I need to be less selfish. I learned that I need to be kinder. I learned that I need to be more faithful in keeping the commandments. I learned that I need to follow the Savior more fully.
While contemplating the things I need to do to be a better person, I listened once again to President Henry B. Eyring’s talk from last general conference. He titled his talk “Our Perfect Example.” His talk of course was about following the Savior. I would like to share some of my thoughts about this talk.
Elder Eyring starts out his talk by reminding us that we all will one day meet the Savior. Whether in this life, or in the world to come I don’t know but I look forward to this day with great hope and anticipation. He then quotes from Moroni in the Book of Mormon.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”
Elder Eyring then goes on and tells us that a Primary Song teaches us what we must do to prepare ourselves for this great occasion:
I’m trying to be like Jesus; I’m following in his ways.
I’m trying to love as he did, in all that I do and say.
At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,
But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,
“Love one another as Jesus loves you.
Try to show kindness in all that you do.
Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,
For these are the things Jesus taught.”
It seems simple, doesn’t it?… love one another as Jesus did. Show kindness in all we do. Heed the still small voice as it guides us. This is how we prepare to see the Savior.
President Eyring goes on to write: “Love is the motivating principle by which the Lord leads us along the way towards becoming like Him, our perfect example. Our way of life, hour by hour, must be filled with the love of God and love for others. There is no surprise in that, since the Lord proclaimed those as the first and great commandments. It is love of God that will lead us to keep His commandments. And love of others is at the heart of our capacity to obey Him.
Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves.
That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships. The joys come from putting the welfare of others above our own. That is what love is. And the sorrow comes primarily from selfishness, which is the absence of love. The ideal God holds for us is to form families in the way most likely to lead to happiness and away from sorrow. A man and a woman are to make sacred covenants that they will put the welfare and happiness of the other at the center of their lives. Children are to be born into a family where the parents hold the needs of children equal to their own in importance. And children are to love parents and each other.”
It is interesting to note that he says that our greatest joys and our greatest sorrows come in our family relationships; Joy from selflessness… and sorrow from selfishness.
I for one have learned that I have been far too selfish in my family relationships. I have been far too selfish in my relationship with my wife Ann. I have seen the joy that comes from forgetting about my own needs and putting Ann’s first. I certainly haven’t perfected it yet, but I am working on it.
He goes on to counsel husbands and wives “Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion.” Imagine the good that can come from following this counsel!
He then goes on to counsel the parents of wandering children (aren’t we all wandering children in one way or another?) “The story of the prodigal son gives us all hope. The prodigal remembered home, as will your children. They will feel your love drawing them back to you. Elder Orson F. Whitney, in a general conference of 1929, gave a remarkable promise, which I know is true, to the faithful parents who honor the temple sealing to their children: “Though some of the sheep may wander, the eye of the Shepherd is upon them, and sooner or later they will feel the tentacles of Divine Providence reaching out after them and drawing them back to the fold.”
Then he goes on to say: “Pray for your careless and disobedient children; hold on to them with your faith. Hope on, trust on, till you see the salvation of God.” You can pray for your children, love them, and reach out to them with confidence that Jesus reaches for them with you. When you keep trying, you are doing what Jesus does.”
Sometimes it seems overwhelming that we need to try harder to be more like the Savior. Perhaps we don’t see the progress that we are making. Elder Eyring points out a couple of ways: “It will help to remember how you have felt, at times, like a little child, even in the midst of cares and trials. You have felt the peace of a pure little child at times when you have tried to be like Jesus. You have felt it in your family when you asked the pardon of your spouse or forgave a child for some mistake or disobedience. These moments will come more often as you try to do the things you know Jesus would do. Because of His Atonement for you, your childlike obedience will bring a feeling of love of the Savior for you and your love for Him. That is one of the gifts that is promised to His faithful disciples. And this gift can come not only to you alone but also to the loving members of your family. The promise was given in 3 Nephi: “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”
I know that as we strive to keep the commandments and to follow the Savior, our perfect example, that our efforts will be blessed by the power of the Atonement and that we will make progress in our quest to return to Him.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Julie's Conversion
The past couple of weeks I have felt very inspired by events happening in my life, but I am having a hard time finding the right thing to write about. Therefore I haven't done a post for awhile: Sorry about that. In the mean time, I am posting another story from my journal. It was origianlly written in my journal in 2006 but was an event from years ago. I hope you all enjoy it!
August 20, 2006
In about January of 1981, I was in the final months of my full-time mission in the Belgium, Antwerp Mission. I was serving in the city of Brussels. This was my second time in the Brussels branch. I spent the first four months of my mission in Brussels, and I spent the last eight there as well. As a result, I had a great relationship with the members of the branch. I had the blessing the last eight months of being a Zone Leader in the mission. This allowed me to have great companions. My companion at the time was Elder Loren Betteridge. Interestingly enough, I had three companions in a row come to me, and then be called as Assistant to the President. They were Randy Thurgood, Steven Kapp Perry, and Loren Betteridge.
I remember distinctly being on a “team teaching” split with Brother DeVille of the Brussels branch when he made the comment that he was tired of the missionaries pushing investigators to be baptized in only a few weeks of investigation of the church. He felt it was more appropriate to investigate the church for years before joining, like he had. He felt this was the way to prevent inactivity.
As a companionship we were determined to prove him wrong. We prayed earnestly to find a person or family who would investigate the church for only three weeks, be baptized, and become an active leader in the branch. We wanted to show the members that it could be done.
After sincere prayer, we felt a strong urge to go back to an area known as Meisse-Oppem. In this area there was a large subdivision of new homes; primarily of young families. We were very hesitant to go to this area because we had just recently exhausted it through tracting efforts. Experience showed that returning again brought a lot of slammed doors and irate people. However, the promptings of the spirit were obvious. We went back.
One morning while tracting in this area, we knocked on a door of a young mother (about 30). She invited us in. She thought we were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Interestingly enough, she was a black woman. It was rather rare at the time to find a Dutch speaking black person in Belgium. Anyway, she began to take the missionary discussions.
Almost immediately the lessons we were teaching her began to make a lot of sense to her in her life. She began accepting the principles of the gospel right away. She accepted the Word of Wisdom and stopped smoking. She read the Scripture assignments we gave her. She was a “golden Investigator”. Her name was Julie Van Wauwe. She had two daughters Leslie (9) and Pascal (4). She was divorced.
Julie, and her daughter Leslie were baptized February 5, 1981. It was almost exactly 3 weeks after we found them. Julie bore her testimony the following Sunday in Fast and Testimony Meeting.
These baptisms were a great blessing in our lives. Elder Betteridge and I were able to achieve the mission “Standard of Excellence” that week which was an award for tracking progress. It was a great accomplishment. We were thrilled about the experience however, it didn’t seem at the time that a single mother was going to be the “leader” we were looking for. She was young, poor, and not working. To young missionaries, she seemed like someone who would take a lot of effort from the other members to keep active. Little did we know what the Lord had in store for her.
Sister VanWauwe and her children and I remained close until it was time for me to return home. I remember leaving one of my missionary name tags with her when I left. We agreed to stay in touch.
We wrote a few times over the next year or so. I even remember calling her once to talk by telephone. In the Spring of 1982 she wrote me a letter telling me she had “met someone”; a man in the branch who was baptized a few months after she was. She told me his name was Erik and that he was the first counselor in the branch presidency. She said they were probably going to be married. That was the last time I heard from her.
In spite of thinking of them many times over the following years, I didn’t go to a lot of effort to find them. I didn’t have an address and didn’t know Erik’s last name. I figured they would be too hard to find. At mission reunions I would ask others about her. Most didn’t remember her. As I spoke with other missionaries who had been back, they didn’t recall seeing her. This is where I let it sit for 25 years.
Ann and I had always intended to go to Europe together, we just couldn’t find the time. In the Spring of 2006 the opportunity arose but we need to leave within a couple of weeks to make it work. We bought tickets and began to make an itinerary. I was determined to find people who had been important to me in Belgium. This included finding Julie.
While speaking by phone with one of my former missionary companions, James Quist, I learned of a member in Antwerp by the name of George Tuffin. He was apparently writing a history of the church in Belgium and seemed to know everyone. James Quist gave me the phone number and I made the call. I had several other specific members I was looking for and was able to find contact information for them. Then I described Julie and what I knew of her. He replied “I know exactly who you are looking for, they attend the Antwerpen Ward”. He then said “You are going to be happy about this one!” He gave me her phone number.
I made the phone call with great excitement but with butterflies as well. Julie answered the phone. After verifying that it was her, I said “this is Elder Webb”. There was a moment of hesitation followed by disbelief. She began to cry a little and stated “Where have you been Elder Webb? My life has been so blessed since you knocked on my door 25 years ago.”
We talked about 10 minutes. She asked about my family and I asked about hers. I told her that Ann and I were coming in about 2 weeks. She told me she had indeed married Erik Develter. She explained what a good man and husband he had been over the years. I asked about Leslie and Pascal and asked if there were others. She answered “ I am not going to tell you, you will need to come see.” I agreed. Over the next few days, via email, we determined a time that we would come to her home.
Ann and I made Belgium the last several days of our 16 day trip. When we went to Erik and Julie’s house on the day we were to arrive, she was waiting outside. She literally ran to the car and nearly pulled Ann out. I got out of the car and we all embraced. She looked terrific, much the same but even happier.
We were invited into her house. She was so excited for us to meet her “other children”. We were surprised to learn that she had four additional children with Erik. A total of 6 children! This is unheard of in Europe. The four younger children were all boys. The middle two were twins and approaching their 19th birthday. Erik was home as well and was very pleasant. He is a very fine man with an amazing testimony.
After exchanging many thoughts, and bring each other up on the status of our families, I learned about each of her children. Leslie is married with a family of her own. Unfortunately she is no longer active in the church. Pascal, now about 29 was also inactive. Bart, the oldest boy was a very nice looking man. He too in recent years has fallen into inactivity. The twins, Daniel and Emmanuel, are very active and were in the process of filling out mission applications. The youngest is Benjamin, a really great 15 year old boy.
It was Saturday, the day before Mothers day. We had lunch at her house which of course included Friets. After lunch we began to talk about the many events that had occurred in her life over the past 25 years. These included the events that ultimately brought her to Belgium.
She explained to us that she had been born in The Congo in the mid to late 1950’s. Her mother was a native of the Congo but her father was a French Baron. They were not married to one another. He had a coffee plantation in the Congo where Julie’s mother was a servant. In the early 1960’s, when Julie was 9, a political revolution broke out in the Congo. All Caucasians were either killed or forced to leave. Julie’s father was forced to leave the country. Prior to doing so however, her father had Julie kidnapped for her own safety. She was considered white by natives.
Without knowing why, Julie was snatched from her mothers arms and taken to an orphanage in Belgium. She was very alone in a very foreign place. She was in this orphanage 2 years before she was adopted by a Belgian family.
For reasons that are very apparent, Julie had many challenges in the following few years. She was emotionally scarred in many ways. She married when she was 18 and soon had her two girls. Her husband was very abusive; physically and verbally. It finally got to the point that she left him, put her children into foster care, and checked herself in to a mental hospital for treatment. She was there for a year.
As the story continued, Ann and I learned that when Elder Betteridge and I knocked on her door, she had only recently been released from the hospital and taken custody of her children. This explained why she was home in the middle of the day when we knocked on her door.
This story simply amazed us. As I thought back on the time that I was in her home as a young missionary, the problems she had recently encountered were never apparent to me. She stated, “I never had you over to my house for a meal, I simply couldn’t afford it”.
We spent the next two days together. On Saturday she took us sight seeing in Antwerp and showed us many sights. More than anything there seemed to be a deep feeling of love and appreciation for the gospel that had brought us together. We had so much to talk about. Ann and Julie hit it off right away and spent a lot of time talking. I spent much of the time getting to know Erik better. I learned that he too had been searching for the truth when the missionaries found him. He owned a bar at the time but quickly sold it and changed careers. He currently is an independent contractor for the Church. His job is to photograph old records for the genealogical department of the church. His geographical areas include Belgium, Holland, and Luxembourg. Amazingly he said that he photographs up to 4000 images per day and still has 10 years of work ahead of him.
The following day was Sunday; Mothers Day. We went to church with them, or in other words met them there. I never served in the Antwerp branch so I didn’t know a lot of people, however I knew a few. Since the closing of the Brussels branch, members divided up among several neighboring Wards. The Antwerp Ward has its own wonderful building in a nice neighborhood.
Sacrament meeting was very nice. Being Mother’s Day, the topic of the talks were Mother’s of course. It was nice to have Benjamin, Julie and Erik’s youngest son, be the youth speaker. Emmanuel, one of the twins, translated for Ann and others that needed English translation. The meeting ended of course with a potted flower being distributed to each woman in the Ward.
The most exciting part of the entire trip was seeing the way Julie and Erik and their family interacted among the other members of the Ward. They were definitely a catalyst in the Ward and drew others to them by their excitement and their testimonies. Their boys were the center of attention and were very influential in the lives of the other youth.
It was immediately apparent that the prayers of two missionaries, 25 years ago, were answered. Elder Betteridge and I didn’t realize how our prayers were answered far beyond our dreams. This experience has come to testify to me the truthfulness of the scripture “My ways are not your ways”. I have also seen how the gospel blesses the lives of so many.
After church we went back to their home for dinner and more catching up. I had photocopied everything I could find from my journal and from letters I had received from them. I passed these on to them. These items filled in many gaps in their personal history. I also gave them photos from their baptism which to my amazement was the first time they had seen them. Again, she was too poor to afford a camera. This was another thing that I as a young missionary simply hadn’t paid any attention to.
Julie began to fill us in on the details of her life. We learned that through an incredible series of events, she was able to locate her biological mother in Africa. Somehow she met a man from the Congo who agreed to go to her village and find her. Apparently there is still no mail service or telephone service in this part of the Congo. Julie had a picture of herself when she was 9 and had some faint memories of her mother. She remembered that her mother had a deformed eye.
A couple of months later the man informed her that he had found her. She described how she and Erik went there to meet her mother. She was treated like royalty and was able to meet a brother. She has been back a second time. She told us she once drove to her Father’s estate in France but he was out of the country. She didn’t feel good about going back. She has however developed a strong tie with Africa and feels a need to contribute.
Saying goodbye to Julie and her family was difficult. We had built a lasting bond. However, I still felt the need for her to love the gospel, and not the missionary that brought it to her. As we departed, she gave us a wrapped gift and asked us not to open it until we were back at our hotel. We agreed. When we got to the hotel I opened the gift. It was an elephant tusk with a carving of a woman’s face in it. She got it in Africa. I was speechless. I felt guilty for taking something that must have been so personal to her. When she gave it to us she said “this is something that will make you never forget me. She is right. I will never forget her.
Here we are at the end of August. A week from tomorrow, Emmanuel, one of her twins will be flying to Salt Lake to stay with us. We will take him to the MTC before he serves in Italy. Daniel, the other twin will go to the MTC in London a week later while preparing to go to France. What a blessing this is in our lives.
I have recently called Loren Betteridge in Tacoma Washington. He is a doctor there. I filled him in on the details and he too feels the blessings of this story. He has since contacted Julie and her family. It is such a great blessing for all of us.
Update
Since this was written in 2006, Daniel and Emmanuel have both served successful missions. Emmanuel recently was married to a young woman he met as a missionary in Italy. Sadly Julie and Erik have divorced but both continue to be active in their wards in Belgium.
August 20, 2006
In about January of 1981, I was in the final months of my full-time mission in the Belgium, Antwerp Mission. I was serving in the city of Brussels. This was my second time in the Brussels branch. I spent the first four months of my mission in Brussels, and I spent the last eight there as well. As a result, I had a great relationship with the members of the branch. I had the blessing the last eight months of being a Zone Leader in the mission. This allowed me to have great companions. My companion at the time was Elder Loren Betteridge. Interestingly enough, I had three companions in a row come to me, and then be called as Assistant to the President. They were Randy Thurgood, Steven Kapp Perry, and Loren Betteridge.
I remember distinctly being on a “team teaching” split with Brother DeVille of the Brussels branch when he made the comment that he was tired of the missionaries pushing investigators to be baptized in only a few weeks of investigation of the church. He felt it was more appropriate to investigate the church for years before joining, like he had. He felt this was the way to prevent inactivity.
As a companionship we were determined to prove him wrong. We prayed earnestly to find a person or family who would investigate the church for only three weeks, be baptized, and become an active leader in the branch. We wanted to show the members that it could be done.
After sincere prayer, we felt a strong urge to go back to an area known as Meisse-Oppem. In this area there was a large subdivision of new homes; primarily of young families. We were very hesitant to go to this area because we had just recently exhausted it through tracting efforts. Experience showed that returning again brought a lot of slammed doors and irate people. However, the promptings of the spirit were obvious. We went back.
One morning while tracting in this area, we knocked on a door of a young mother (about 30). She invited us in. She thought we were Jehovah’s Witnesses. Interestingly enough, she was a black woman. It was rather rare at the time to find a Dutch speaking black person in Belgium. Anyway, she began to take the missionary discussions.
Almost immediately the lessons we were teaching her began to make a lot of sense to her in her life. She began accepting the principles of the gospel right away. She accepted the Word of Wisdom and stopped smoking. She read the Scripture assignments we gave her. She was a “golden Investigator”. Her name was Julie Van Wauwe. She had two daughters Leslie (9) and Pascal (4). She was divorced.
Julie, and her daughter Leslie were baptized February 5, 1981. It was almost exactly 3 weeks after we found them. Julie bore her testimony the following Sunday in Fast and Testimony Meeting.
These baptisms were a great blessing in our lives. Elder Betteridge and I were able to achieve the mission “Standard of Excellence” that week which was an award for tracking progress. It was a great accomplishment. We were thrilled about the experience however, it didn’t seem at the time that a single mother was going to be the “leader” we were looking for. She was young, poor, and not working. To young missionaries, she seemed like someone who would take a lot of effort from the other members to keep active. Little did we know what the Lord had in store for her.
Sister VanWauwe and her children and I remained close until it was time for me to return home. I remember leaving one of my missionary name tags with her when I left. We agreed to stay in touch.
We wrote a few times over the next year or so. I even remember calling her once to talk by telephone. In the Spring of 1982 she wrote me a letter telling me she had “met someone”; a man in the branch who was baptized a few months after she was. She told me his name was Erik and that he was the first counselor in the branch presidency. She said they were probably going to be married. That was the last time I heard from her.
In spite of thinking of them many times over the following years, I didn’t go to a lot of effort to find them. I didn’t have an address and didn’t know Erik’s last name. I figured they would be too hard to find. At mission reunions I would ask others about her. Most didn’t remember her. As I spoke with other missionaries who had been back, they didn’t recall seeing her. This is where I let it sit for 25 years.
Ann and I had always intended to go to Europe together, we just couldn’t find the time. In the Spring of 2006 the opportunity arose but we need to leave within a couple of weeks to make it work. We bought tickets and began to make an itinerary. I was determined to find people who had been important to me in Belgium. This included finding Julie.
While speaking by phone with one of my former missionary companions, James Quist, I learned of a member in Antwerp by the name of George Tuffin. He was apparently writing a history of the church in Belgium and seemed to know everyone. James Quist gave me the phone number and I made the call. I had several other specific members I was looking for and was able to find contact information for them. Then I described Julie and what I knew of her. He replied “I know exactly who you are looking for, they attend the Antwerpen Ward”. He then said “You are going to be happy about this one!” He gave me her phone number.
I made the phone call with great excitement but with butterflies as well. Julie answered the phone. After verifying that it was her, I said “this is Elder Webb”. There was a moment of hesitation followed by disbelief. She began to cry a little and stated “Where have you been Elder Webb? My life has been so blessed since you knocked on my door 25 years ago.”
We talked about 10 minutes. She asked about my family and I asked about hers. I told her that Ann and I were coming in about 2 weeks. She told me she had indeed married Erik Develter. She explained what a good man and husband he had been over the years. I asked about Leslie and Pascal and asked if there were others. She answered “ I am not going to tell you, you will need to come see.” I agreed. Over the next few days, via email, we determined a time that we would come to her home.
Ann and I made Belgium the last several days of our 16 day trip. When we went to Erik and Julie’s house on the day we were to arrive, she was waiting outside. She literally ran to the car and nearly pulled Ann out. I got out of the car and we all embraced. She looked terrific, much the same but even happier.
We were invited into her house. She was so excited for us to meet her “other children”. We were surprised to learn that she had four additional children with Erik. A total of 6 children! This is unheard of in Europe. The four younger children were all boys. The middle two were twins and approaching their 19th birthday. Erik was home as well and was very pleasant. He is a very fine man with an amazing testimony.
After exchanging many thoughts, and bring each other up on the status of our families, I learned about each of her children. Leslie is married with a family of her own. Unfortunately she is no longer active in the church. Pascal, now about 29 was also inactive. Bart, the oldest boy was a very nice looking man. He too in recent years has fallen into inactivity. The twins, Daniel and Emmanuel, are very active and were in the process of filling out mission applications. The youngest is Benjamin, a really great 15 year old boy.
It was Saturday, the day before Mothers day. We had lunch at her house which of course included Friets. After lunch we began to talk about the many events that had occurred in her life over the past 25 years. These included the events that ultimately brought her to Belgium.
She explained to us that she had been born in The Congo in the mid to late 1950’s. Her mother was a native of the Congo but her father was a French Baron. They were not married to one another. He had a coffee plantation in the Congo where Julie’s mother was a servant. In the early 1960’s, when Julie was 9, a political revolution broke out in the Congo. All Caucasians were either killed or forced to leave. Julie’s father was forced to leave the country. Prior to doing so however, her father had Julie kidnapped for her own safety. She was considered white by natives.
Without knowing why, Julie was snatched from her mothers arms and taken to an orphanage in Belgium. She was very alone in a very foreign place. She was in this orphanage 2 years before she was adopted by a Belgian family.
For reasons that are very apparent, Julie had many challenges in the following few years. She was emotionally scarred in many ways. She married when she was 18 and soon had her two girls. Her husband was very abusive; physically and verbally. It finally got to the point that she left him, put her children into foster care, and checked herself in to a mental hospital for treatment. She was there for a year.
As the story continued, Ann and I learned that when Elder Betteridge and I knocked on her door, she had only recently been released from the hospital and taken custody of her children. This explained why she was home in the middle of the day when we knocked on her door.
This story simply amazed us. As I thought back on the time that I was in her home as a young missionary, the problems she had recently encountered were never apparent to me. She stated, “I never had you over to my house for a meal, I simply couldn’t afford it”.
We spent the next two days together. On Saturday she took us sight seeing in Antwerp and showed us many sights. More than anything there seemed to be a deep feeling of love and appreciation for the gospel that had brought us together. We had so much to talk about. Ann and Julie hit it off right away and spent a lot of time talking. I spent much of the time getting to know Erik better. I learned that he too had been searching for the truth when the missionaries found him. He owned a bar at the time but quickly sold it and changed careers. He currently is an independent contractor for the Church. His job is to photograph old records for the genealogical department of the church. His geographical areas include Belgium, Holland, and Luxembourg. Amazingly he said that he photographs up to 4000 images per day and still has 10 years of work ahead of him.
The following day was Sunday; Mothers Day. We went to church with them, or in other words met them there. I never served in the Antwerp branch so I didn’t know a lot of people, however I knew a few. Since the closing of the Brussels branch, members divided up among several neighboring Wards. The Antwerp Ward has its own wonderful building in a nice neighborhood.
Sacrament meeting was very nice. Being Mother’s Day, the topic of the talks were Mother’s of course. It was nice to have Benjamin, Julie and Erik’s youngest son, be the youth speaker. Emmanuel, one of the twins, translated for Ann and others that needed English translation. The meeting ended of course with a potted flower being distributed to each woman in the Ward.
The most exciting part of the entire trip was seeing the way Julie and Erik and their family interacted among the other members of the Ward. They were definitely a catalyst in the Ward and drew others to them by their excitement and their testimonies. Their boys were the center of attention and were very influential in the lives of the other youth.
It was immediately apparent that the prayers of two missionaries, 25 years ago, were answered. Elder Betteridge and I didn’t realize how our prayers were answered far beyond our dreams. This experience has come to testify to me the truthfulness of the scripture “My ways are not your ways”. I have also seen how the gospel blesses the lives of so many.
After church we went back to their home for dinner and more catching up. I had photocopied everything I could find from my journal and from letters I had received from them. I passed these on to them. These items filled in many gaps in their personal history. I also gave them photos from their baptism which to my amazement was the first time they had seen them. Again, she was too poor to afford a camera. This was another thing that I as a young missionary simply hadn’t paid any attention to.
Julie began to fill us in on the details of her life. We learned that through an incredible series of events, she was able to locate her biological mother in Africa. Somehow she met a man from the Congo who agreed to go to her village and find her. Apparently there is still no mail service or telephone service in this part of the Congo. Julie had a picture of herself when she was 9 and had some faint memories of her mother. She remembered that her mother had a deformed eye.
A couple of months later the man informed her that he had found her. She described how she and Erik went there to meet her mother. She was treated like royalty and was able to meet a brother. She has been back a second time. She told us she once drove to her Father’s estate in France but he was out of the country. She didn’t feel good about going back. She has however developed a strong tie with Africa and feels a need to contribute.
Saying goodbye to Julie and her family was difficult. We had built a lasting bond. However, I still felt the need for her to love the gospel, and not the missionary that brought it to her. As we departed, she gave us a wrapped gift and asked us not to open it until we were back at our hotel. We agreed. When we got to the hotel I opened the gift. It was an elephant tusk with a carving of a woman’s face in it. She got it in Africa. I was speechless. I felt guilty for taking something that must have been so personal to her. When she gave it to us she said “this is something that will make you never forget me. She is right. I will never forget her.
Here we are at the end of August. A week from tomorrow, Emmanuel, one of her twins will be flying to Salt Lake to stay with us. We will take him to the MTC before he serves in Italy. Daniel, the other twin will go to the MTC in London a week later while preparing to go to France. What a blessing this is in our lives.
I have recently called Loren Betteridge in Tacoma Washington. He is a doctor there. I filled him in on the details and he too feels the blessings of this story. He has since contacted Julie and her family. It is such a great blessing for all of us.
Update
Since this was written in 2006, Daniel and Emmanuel have both served successful missions. Emmanuel recently was married to a young woman he met as a missionary in Italy. Sadly Julie and Erik have divorced but both continue to be active in their wards in Belgium.
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