Our Savior's Love

On December 21, 2011 my dear mother passed away. She was truly the most Christ like person I ever knew. She was kind and loving and never said an unkind thing about anyone. She always saw the good in every person and in every situation. She will be missed by all. Thank you to all who expressed their condolences and sympathies. I truly felt the influence of your prayers.

I would like to write today on a really wonderful experience that happened the day of her passing. It shows how much our Savior and our Heavenly Father really loves us, and it shows how we can receive some of the greatest blessings of our lives if we give ourselves the time and space to listen to the whisperings of the Spirit.

The night before my mother’s passing, the entire family, siblings and spouses, met at her bedside. The kind people at hospice had told us that the time was very near. The hospice nurse explained to us everything that was happening in her body, and what we could expect during the next few hours until her death. She hadn’t had anything to eat or drink for several days and her face was very frail and thin. Her heart was racing at about 130 beats a minute and she was very warm. Her body was simply shutting down. She was not conscious.

As we gathered together, there was a strong unity between all of us. There were no hard feelings. We were able to whisper things to our mother and tell her good bye. We had a family prayer. Then most of us left. I never expected to see my mother alive again.

The following morning was Wednesday, the day I go to the temple, and I awoke at my normal 4:15 in order to read my scriptures and say my prayers before going to the temple. I thought in my heart that there wasn’t a better place for me to be at my mother’s passing than at the temple. My prayers that morning were particularly earnest and my emotions were near the surface. I had expected a call or text overnight telling me of her passing but had received neither.

As I finished my prayers, and passed through the kitchen to go take a shower, I glanced at a picture of the Savior that hangs in that room. Without much thought I paused on the picture for a moment and said under my breath “please hold her hand today.” As I turned to walk away I felt the sweet promptings of the Spirit say to me “no Scott, you should hold it yourself.” I was a little taken back by the prompting. As I hopped in the shower I continued to ask the Lord if going to be with my mother, or going to the temple where I could pray in peace for my mother was more important. I had the distinct feeling I needed to go to my mother’s side. I dressed quickly and arrived at her side about 5:45 am.

When I arrived at my mother’s home (assisted living), my sister Carolyn was standing at my mother’s door. When I asked her what was wrong, she said that a couple of nurses ad just run by and entered another room. We soon learned that our sweet friend Arva had just passed away.

Arva was another angel. She was only 81 years old and in relatively good health. She had been in a car accident and had a serious brain injury that left her nearly unable to speak. She had, however, a huge heart and treated us, and especially our mother, with great love and respect. In her very labored speech, she always asked about our mother and expressed her concern. Everyone was shocked that she had passed and we were all saddened. I honestly feel however that she passed to help my mother make this important transition.

When entering my mother’s room, I found her nearly in the same state as the previous night. Julie, Carolyn and Lance had spent the night. Lance left just prior to my arrival. I sat next to my sweet mother and held her hand. I kissed her and whispered in her ear how much I loved her and how it was okay to go. There was no response but I know she could hear me.

At about 7 am, Carolyn expressed that she didn’t think that mom would leave while she (Carolyn) was there. She knew how upset Carolyn would be. Carolyn decided to leave.

Within a few minutes my brother Steve arrived. He too had had an impression to come. Over the past few months he had been very sweet and tender with my mother and had really taken care of her.

Soon after Steve came Susan. She was very kind and wonderful. Now it was just the four of us. We each took time holding mom’s hand and talking to her. We talked about the passing of our dad and our various experiences with that occasion. I was living in Maryland when my dad passed and despite my best efforts, was not able to make it before he passed. I was always disappointed I wasn’t there.

About 7:35 my mother threw up. All that came out was the mucus in her throat. As Steve turned to wipe it up she seemed to roll on her back a little and relax. Her breathing changed; she was taking a breath only every 10 or 15 seconds. We all jumped to her side. Susan indicated that this was probably it. We pulled the bed away from the wall so we could stand on both sides and we each held her hand or arm and wept. She took only 10 to 15 of these deep breaths- exhaled a final time- and slipped into eternity.

I will never really be able to express the peace that was in that room. There was a deep love and bond between those of us that were there that morning. It was among the most spiritual events of my life. I was so happy I was there.

I am certain that I could have gone to the temple that morning and had a wonderful experience. Instead, I had a once in a lifetime sacred experience. I am so grateful for a Savior that cares enough about me to whisper a small prompting to choose between two good things. I love Him and honor His Holy Name.